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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com
Guest Message by DevFuse


Nobody's Ever In Chat Anymore

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18 replies to this topic

#16 lacrymosa


    Colors outside the lines.

  • Contributing Member
  • 1,243 posts

Posted 14 June 2007 - 10:18 PM

Too many members were being ignored and neglected in favor of private conversations that were strictly prohibited by the rules--several individuals especially seemed to forget that chat is a privilege, not a right, and it was one that frankly had not been appreciated in recent months.

I agree. Whether everyone has seen this or not, it's very true. There are members who used the chat PM feature *exclusively*. I have tried to talk to people in the old chat on numerous occasions and they were too busy nattering away in PM to even notice they were being talked to! Once or twice would be isolated incidents. But it was far from once or twice.

But I think the bottom line on this whole issue? It's just as Ashley-Michelle stated. A privilege, not a right. I will go out on a limb here and state that this site is not a democracy where the members get to make decisions about how they think the site should be run. It's a privately owned site financed by the owners, and supplemented only by those able to donate. I'm not good with math, but I think if you added it all up, the vast majority of costs are covered out of pocket by the site owners. And our membership is free. We are extremely lucky to have this resource, and it's a very good resource. The software on this site is premium and expensive. It's well maintained and kept running smoothly.

While I think it's fine to voice our feelings about adjusting to the new chat feature, I also can look at it from another perspective. If I had spent several hours setting up the new chat, integrating it with the board, testing it out for bugs, training the chat mods on how to operate the functions, and doing all of the above in a very short time so that we members could get back to using the feature after only 1 day? If I knew that my efforts were intended only to ensure the safety of the members at large?

If I had done all this, and then discovered that there have been nothing but negative posts about my efforts? I think I would feel sad and hurt. So my thoughts are, thanks for the chat. I understand and appreciate that it's still being tweaked, but we were allowed in anyway, instead of keeping it closed until totally adjusted. I understand it will take time for it to be accepted by those of us who knew the old chat software. I am very grateful to have chat at all, as it's one of my favorite site features. Thank you.

#17 Ashley-Michelle


    Unapologetically Liberal

  • Consultant
  • 3,400 posts

Posted 14 June 2007 - 10:23 PM

Enola, the doing away with the PM system isn't to punish the board or because we doubt members ability to multi-task. It's because the PM system was greatly abused by many members with such an astounding frequency that many seemed to have forgotten chat is a privilege that Vera and Lindy don't have to provide, but choose to at their own expense. In return, all they asked was that the chat be used to be supportive, respectful and available to members--which was happening less and less over time because of the PM issue, and at the expense of members who were trying to use the chat for its' intended purpose.

The Moderators received so many complaints about chat and the PM system that it became an almost daily event. We also saw this escalation of this first-hand. Prior to my promotion, I went into chat maybe twice. After, but before we switched the new system, I went into chat probably half a dozen times, and only in two of those occassions did the majority of the room talk. While we know part of this is due to members fueling a ridiculously juvenile "Don't talk while the mods are in chat" agenda, the other part was due to excessive, abusive use of private messaging. And even when members would be reminded, by us or the chat moderators chat was to chat in the main room and not PM, we would be ignored. There were a number of members that repeatedly violated this rule, and it only hurt the board. There were members who did not feel safe posting here because they did not feel anyone would listen to them, based on their experiences in chat.

If you want to use PM, use the PM function connected to the board--there is no rule against that. And if PMing is why members are no longer going into the chat, they completely misunderstood what it was there for in the first place. It should also be noted that at present time, the PM system being re-instated for members to communicate among themselves is not up for discussion.

#18 onlyhope

  • Member
  • 72 posts

Posted 15 June 2007 - 12:18 AM

I was one that used the private chat when I was feeling perhaps a little unsafe about the main topic. (if that makes sense) and I have to admit that sometimes I wouldn't talk much in chat either, but I don't really talk a lot anyway.. all that aside I kept going to chat either way. Chat was a place I can go to be understood, a place where I can go and be safe. I've actually got into chat then fell asleep with my laptop in my lap! But it really doesn't seem like the safe place that it used to be, and perhaps it's because not very many people are on. The members that I had come to trust and people that were on almost like clockwork aren't anymore. I've tried getting on at every time of the day and chat has gone quite silent. Which is sad for us, because I think we've had enough silence in our lives. I agree with Windy, the fact that people aren't using it makes me so sad.

#19 Vera


    She's been gone, have you seen her?

  • Administrator
  • 7,373 posts

Posted 15 June 2007 - 01:41 AM

One thing to remember is that it's now summer, and the board has always been less active during summer. Members have final exams, may go on vacation, and it is generally nicer outside so we all spend less time in front of the computer.

The PM system won't be re-instated at the present time but it may be re-instated in the future, if all conditions to keep members safe and the chat room true to its mission are met.