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Request For D.i.d. Forum


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#1 Katia60

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Posted 14 February 2007 - 10:38 PM

Hi,

I am not sure if this is the right place to post this. I wanted to ask if it were possible to have a forum for dissociative identity disorder here at After Silence? I don't know if that has ever come up before, a request, I mean. I know that I have not ever found as nice of a place as AS online before that is open to all survivors and it is harder to find something specific for DID. I am hoping that we could have a forum here. It would not have to be a closed forum. I would be willing to help moderate the forum, if that is something you would need.

Could you let me know if that is possible? Thanks.

Kate

Edited by Katia60, 15 February 2007 - 08:00 PM.


#2 Guest_WhiteWolf_*

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Posted 14 February 2007 - 11:09 PM

Hi Katia

I was a member at a survivor forum where DID was common, and forums were created for people with DID. Unfortunatly it seemed to have encouraged people to say "ooh I have Alters too" and some of the people who claimed to have DID were widely thought to be lying. Whilst the idea was to allow all alters to be able to express themselves, and it was well intentioned, it made for a bad atmosphere as there is little doubt that some of the people claiming DID were at best unconvincing and that caused incredible friction within the DID'd members.

I think a DID forum specifically would be opening a can of worms. DID seems to be an illness plauged by hanger-on's and I don't want to see that encouraged here. Ultimatly the row about if this member was a liar or how fast people can switch blah blah blah tore the group appart.

I think it's a bad idea to have any specific illness having it's own forum as I can think of several illness's widely known to affect survivors strongly... DID, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Depression... the list goes on.

It's a respectful no from me.

Ser

#3 heathbar

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Posted 14 February 2007 - 11:12 PM

i see both sides, but who's to say that doesn't occur now?

#4 Katia60

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Posted 14 February 2007 - 11:49 PM

Perhaps I was not clear enough. I meant to be asking the administrator and moderators their response to the question if there could be a DID forum here. I do not want to cause bad feelings here by my question.


Kate

Edited by Katia60, 14 February 2007 - 11:55 PM.


#5 Guest_WhiteWolf_*

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Posted 15 February 2007 - 12:55 AM

No no Hon, no bad feeling, it's just the way I type honest! flowers.gif

I just don't think it's a good idea for the reasons I set out thats all. No bad feeling has been generated with me. flowers.gif

Ser

#6 Haullie

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Posted 15 February 2007 - 10:18 PM

QUOTE(WhiteWolf @ Feb 14 2007, 08:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi Katia

I was a member at a survivor forum where DID was common, and forums were created for people with DID. Unfortunatly it seemed to have encouraged people to say "ooh I have Alters too" and some of the people who claimed to have DID were widely thought to be lying. Whilst the idea was to allow all alters to be able to express themselves, and it was well intentioned, it made for a bad atmosphere as there is little doubt that some of the people claiming DID were at best unconvincing and that caused incredible friction within the DID'd members.

I think a DID forum specifically would be opening a can of worms. DID seems to be an illness plauged by hanger-on's and I don't want to see that encouraged here. Ultimatly the row about if this member was a liar or how fast people can switch blah blah blah tore the group appart.

I think it's a bad idea to have any specific illness having it's own forum as I can think of several illness's widely known to affect survivors strongly... DID, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Depression... the list goes on.

It's a respectful no from me.

Ser


Whitewolf,

I TOTALLY know what you're talking about. A few years back when I was running my own forum for survivors way before I met Vera and came to AS, there was a forum specifically for DID/MPD and I swear I met more fakers than real people who suffered from the mental illness and what hurt the most was that it made it hard for those truly suffering. Not to mention being fooled by so many people, and they do come out and tell the truth, or they get caught in lies and contradictions that make zero sense. So I really understand why you felt the need to write that.

This is by no means saying I don't support people discussing DID, I truly do, I have friends who really have it so I understand what they are going through. But as you stated, having a specific forum would only open up a can of worms. This is also a topic that can be discussed in the
Psychological Well-being forum.

I honestly think there needs to be more properly researched information on this and I do not support people giving themselves their OWN diagnoses. If anything I think if you're willing to discuss your DID/MPD, you should get a doctor's note stateing that you have this disorder before discussing how you feel because no one should be fooled and a little proof is not a bad idea.

This isn't like survivors who falsly accuse, the statistics for people who falsley accuse are what 1%? The statistics for people who lie about or don't understand that they really don't have DID/MPD are WAY higher. Just thought I'd bring up the reason why I think there should be a diagnoses before discussion because I don't want anyone to think it was a dumb thing to say. It's just my opinion, some of you may disagree...but I come from experience with fakers and it left a pretty bald patch on my heart so I hope you can understand why I feel the way that I feel. flowers.gif

Haullie

Edited by Haullie, 15 February 2007 - 10:21 PM.


#7 Saz

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Posted 15 February 2007 - 11:32 PM

I really have no valuable input hehe... but... maybe those people genuinely thought they had DID? The whole 'internet diagnosis' issue comes into play here, when people haven't been to a doctor and just recognise the symptoms which may be something else entirely. Then, of course, they may get caught up in some DID discussion and thus reinforce their view that they DO have this DID they have read about.

So yeah, as Haullie said people shouldn't really slef diagnose BUT I think a lot of people do it for a lot of differnent things.... It's confusing. But maybe it could be a subforum? We are never to know that people HAVE the illnesses they claim to have. I don't think it is a case of lies, more of mistakes / presumptions. In which case perhaps "true" DID sufferers here can point others in the right direction and advise a proper diagnosis?

#8 dana

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Posted 15 February 2007 - 11:53 PM

Wolfie/Haullie,

I'm curious about what you write about people who don't really have DID or have diagnosed themselves, and how difficult it makes forum discussions. I hope this is not a stupid question, but I was struck by how strongly you both seem to feel about people who haven't really been diagnosed, and I'm just curious why that is - both why it attracts so many "hangers on" as you say, and why it's particularly troubling when people who do not truly have it talk as if they do.

(I know next to nothing about DID myself - just the basics of what it is - so please forgive me if the answers are obvious to anyone who does; I was just struck by your responses and it made me curious to know more. I suppose it's obvious that it would be troubling if people are writing about anything they are not truly experiencing, but it seemed like it's particularly so here.)

Hope that makes some sense... blush.gif
Dana

Edited by dana, 15 February 2007 - 11:57 PM.


#9 Haullie

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 12:29 AM

My reason for being uneasy about having a DID forum is because I have experienced being lied to, maybe it does have something to do with my personal feelings I don't know. I think of all the hours I wasted talking to people who eventually confessed to lying to me about having a mental disorder, knowingly lying because they didn't feel "loved enough" and I just get uneasy. How do you react to that? We're not trained liscensed professionals so it's hard.

But it doesn't reflect on the disorder as a whole, I do empathyze with those who have DID/MPD and I know people who genuinely have it which is why I feel places for support are needed, but not if they aren't going to educate the public first and foremost. Like I said, all of this can be discussed in the Psychological Well-being forum, I just don't think personally as a fellow survivor of the board that we need a separate or sub form for this mental illness, it's also not that common umongst survivors, only a very small percentage of survivors have MPD/DID. I think the most common illness would have to be PTSD.

Haullie

#10 Katia60

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 04:04 AM

Hi Haullie and everyone,

I do think that a sub-forum would be nice to have in psychological well-being. I can understand the issues brought up by you and Wolf that there are fakers. I don't think that not having a sub-forum prevents that. What I do think is that true DIDers feel more alienated and rejected, that is just a part of their reality, though that might not be the intention or the feeling. I can understand not having that kind of forum here, but I don't agree.

Survivors of child sexual abuse and/or ritual abuse are the highest percentage of DID diagnosis. I encourage anyone here who is questioning dissociation and DID to become informed and to talk to a therapist, the operative part of that being talk to a therapist and seek an evaluation. I would never encourage anyone taking online or pysychological information and using it to self-diagnose or in asking others to speculate about that. I find that more people with dissociation have questions about it than people with DID.

I think that many young survivors do not even understand the components and complexities inherent in dissociation, let alone in dissociative identity disorder. I don't believe in self-diagnosis. However, DID exists outside of a diagnosis and its existence is persistent and historically most DID clients receive up to seven different mental health diagnosis before the receive their DID diagnosis. This points to an inherent flaw in the way that psychiatry and psycholgists interact and evaluate clients. Part of this is due to the fact that DID is not understood to exist in the amounts that it does. It is currently estimated that DID exists in 1% of the population. The figure must be significantly higher among groups with child sexual abuse and ritual abuse survivors. I have found that the percentage is much higher among therapy/support group members and online survivors who are seeking group support.

I have met hundreds of abuse survivors online who have DID. I have never experienced fakers, where there were inconsistencies, inaccuracies or retractions. I believe that it can happen. It can happen with any mental health or health issue. I don't plan on altering the way that I interact with survivors based on that. I can understand the pain of trusting someone only to have been told that you were lied to. I'm sorry that others were lied to and hurt like this.

Kate

#11 Haullie

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 06:19 AM

yeah unfortunately being lied to really screws with a person's ability to trust. I still don't know about a sub-forum whether it would be a good idea or not that's up to the administrators. I really can't tell you cause I have a difference of opinion, it's not that I think it should be rejected as an idea, it's not that at all. I just think if you create a sub-forum for DID/MPD then that opens up the possibility of opening up sub forums for all sorts of mental illnesses and the forum members would rather just have one specific place to post topics dealing with mental illness, what with DID being only 1% of the population, how often will that board be used? I'm just trying to put my feet in the shoes of the administrators and see what they would htink but maybe it's best to just wait for their response to this thread because it really is tricky. Not rejection please don't get me wrong, I would never reject the idea itse;f, it's a plausable idea, but like I said it opens up the question as to why there aren't sub-forums for everything else when we could just have one forum to talk about all mental illnesses. Less confuseing that way too. It's kind of like the Aftermath forum, AS doesn't specifically say that it's a forum for Date rape survivors, incest survivors, child abuse survivors...ect...it's just one forum for all of those subjects together.

Haullie

#12 Guest_WhiteWolf_*

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 12:31 PM

I agree with what Haullie's saying, and I also want to make clear where I'm comming from with regard to "fakes". It doesn't even matter if every single one of the people I have encountered who were perceived to be fakes where absolutly straight down the line genuine... what matters is that there was a debate about it which wasn't nice.

People got upset about it. It caused tension. People who were making accusations of fakeness against others felt terribly hurt that anyone could (in thier oppinion) be faking something so life-changing. And people who were being accused felt desperatly hurt that they were accused. Since I don't have DID I have never been in a position to say this person has it for real and that person is a fake, but I have heard the b*tchiness and the hurt generated by such issues.

DID is a survivor issue, but I feel it's one so incredibly specific, complex and emotive it couldn't ever be done justice in one board here anyway.

And I'm with Haullie all the way on keeping the forums as broad as possible, so sticking with one mental health board, rather than sepparate to specific conditions.

There is a point as well that hasn't been made yet.... we have young people here as members and sometimes I talk to those young people in chat (a young person to me is someone under 21). When someone is telling you that someone in thier life is hurting them still you feel moved, but you can usually help support the young person and guide them. One person I have spoken to has now taken the steps to end thier abuse, and that's wonderful.

However I speak to alters too, some of my closest freinds have DID. When the alters tell me they are experiencing violence daily or other forms of abuse, someties there is nothing that can be done to help. Sometimes I'm talking to an alter of a child telling me an adult alter does horrible things to them. And I know full well there is nothing I can say to that "child", I can make no promises that it will ever stop. I can't even say one day you will be 18 and you can leave home, because they wont turn 18 ever, and they can't leave home. It's incredibly harrowing and as a non-DID'd person you really do need to learn a whole new skill set to take this on.

On a site of 5000 survivors there are going to be a lot of people with DID, but there are always going to be a lot more without DID, and for those without DID there is an absolutly enormous learning curve in even being able to talk to an alter.

I believe there isn't enough support for people with DID, and I hope sincrely this thread will inspire people to get out there and create a group for DID'd survivors, but DID is just far too specific to be something it's easy to intergrate into AS.

#13 Katia60

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 02:00 PM

Thanks for the responses. I do not want to make anyone feel further alienatied, though I do see this discussion as something that could do that.

I do appreciate the responses.

I guess, still, I didn't mean this thread to be a debate, or to be seen as one. But rather as a question to the admiinistrators.

Thanks for the responses.

Kate

#14 ann

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 07:34 PM

I hear you Kate. hug.gif



annie

#15 AmyLyn

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Posted 16 February 2007 - 08:20 PM

Frankly, I can see both sides here...I agree with both of them...On the one hand I think it's a great idea..but on the other...I don't know...I have also seen alot of people fake it so yea...I don't know...
I am DID myself so I really don't know if I want a forum specifically for it...I don't want people to think they have it when they don't or lie about it...

Like Kate said though...I think this was more of a question to the admins then a debate type thing...

hmmmmmm...

~Molly