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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

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Guest Message by DevFuse

Male Survivor (poss Triggs)

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13 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Dan Dare_*

Guest_Dan Dare_*
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Posted 23 June 2004 - 01:05 PM

Hi I hope you dont mind me posting my blogsite address here.

Just in case any guys come in as there seems to be a majority of females in here.

Im 48? years of age
Married with two step daughters and four grandchildren.
I didnt speak about my abuse until I got sober at the age of forty which lasted eight years. I have a terrible relapse record. I have been drinking alcoholically since the age of fifteen. I became addicted to prescription drugs as well

I was expelled from secondary school whilst I was being actively abused, My family could be described at best as totally dysfunctional. I returned to my original abuser time and time again as he gave me all those things my parent didnt. I was abused by another six men in this particular group and I went on to prostitute myself. I have recently learnt that this is known as survival sex.

I am currently looking for a ghostwriter as I have not got the language skills although I'm working on it.

I would like to share my story with you
It can be found at http://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com

Please be aware that my story has triggers within please do not read it unless you feel grounded.

If you need help or more information regarding male sexual abuse visit


Edited by Dan Dare, 25 June 2004 - 04:09 PM.

#2 Guest_queenie_*

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Posted 23 June 2004 - 07:35 PM


Wow, I am so sorry for all you have gone through. We do have a few male survivors here and they are just as special to us as all of the female survivors. Thank you for posting your story and the informational site it is a very courageous thing to do. Welcome to the family I hope you find the healing here you are looking for. We are all here to support you anyway we can.

Best of Luck to you and your family,


#3 Sookie



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Posted 23 June 2004 - 07:37 PM

Welcome Dan,i hope u find more healing here & the other male survivours here r wonderful so i hope u stay on as part of this grownin "family".....

hug.gif & wub.gif
Sookie xoxox

#4 BrownEyedSundancer

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Posted 23 June 2004 - 11:25 PM

hi Dan,

it's always good to see another male survivor here...to know that you aren't alone. i'm glad you're here and hope you continue to post. terribly sorry for everything you have been through.


#5 aquapit


    ~Beauty is all around~

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 12:27 AM

Hi Dan! Welcome to After Silence... I'm so sorry for everything you have been through. Thank you for sharing so much with us. It was very brave and wonderful thing to do. You are not alone here, as Queenie said, we do have male survivors here and they are just as loved as the female survivors here. I hope you find this place to be as wonderful, safe, and supportive as I have. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Take precious care of yourself hug.gif

kitty.gif Tracy

#6 -Nene-


    Intrepid Innocence

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 01:37 AM

Hi Dan
Welcome to AS.
I'm sorry you've gone through so much, and I'm glad you've found us here to help encourage healing.
Forgive me for not reading your story today as I'm a little triggered...But I promise I will read when I'm feeling a bit better so I can get an understanding to your pain.
hug.gif Looking forward to getting to know you a little better


#7 betty


    spero melior

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 04:19 AM

welcome Dan!

i hope you find what you are looking for here


#8 connyx


    .-*noone inside*-.

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 04:44 AM

hi dan!

thumbsup.gif you will like this place!

as you can see...we have also male survivors here....i know....this helps....to know that you aren't alone..


take care

#9 mariposa


    <Reclaiming my wings>

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 06:10 PM

Hi Dan,
welcome! we are all here to support you in anything you need,

#10 Lilea


    Tender Heart

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 07:25 PM

Hi Dan.... hug.gif welcome here. I am sorry for the pain and the struggles in your life, but it tales a lot of guts and courage to say what you have shared. just remember each day we all have choices to make... and sometimes we make the right ones, and sometimes we make the wrong ones... the most important thing is to get up after we fall and keep trying... it's the only way to succeed! blush.gif Welcome again!

#11 BalueMana


    Out of the Mist

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Posted 24 June 2004 - 08:19 PM

Hi Dan,

I would like to extend a welcome to you as well. I'm so sorry for the matters of the past that bring you here - but want to thank you for sharing your site with us. It is very informative and interesting. I've looked at it several times. I even have it book marked - I don't get much spare time - but the journal is very well written and very nice to read.

You said you were lookiing for a Ghost writer. Dan, I honestly do not believe you need one. You are not giving yourself enough credit - if you wrote that site - you can most certainly hold an audiances attention in a book. What has you stumped about writing your book? Is it a hard time putting all the pieces in a book format?

If you are having that issue with it - there are ways to get past that - but I wont' belabor something if it is not the matter you are struggling with. You did say the language - but from the sound of your writting - the language is good - I assure you. I'm a bit confused but intrigued.

I hope I have not offended you with anything I have said here - I mean no disrespect - just seriously think you would write a great book and would like to see that happen for you.

I hope this post finds you well,

#12 Guest_Abrolake_*

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Posted 25 June 2004 - 08:40 PM

Heya Dan,

Wow, reading your post here sounded so familiar. I'm also a male survivor that spent the better part of my youth trying desperately to destroy myself by proxy. What I've not smoked, I've injected, drank, or inhaled. I was in and out of jail so much as a teen-ager the police kept a pillow and blanket warm for me. It took over fifteen years for me to find out that I wasn't just going through a phase then, but was trying to get someone else to punish me for the guilt I felt. If there was a rule or a boundary I could cross, I was there with running shoes.

The bottom line to this is that similar shadows and terrors as you've fended off have haunted and hunted others out here. That big-ass boat you've been paddling around in isn't empty. We're here in it with you. If there's anything we might be able to do or confirm for you to help you heal, please jump at it? You're not alone, Dan, and what you've done was the product of the abuse, not your own intrinsic desires. In other words, had the abuse not occurred, had there been a supporting network of family, you never would have gone into prostitution. These are things I'm still learning to accept for myself. The crimes I committed, the people I've hurt, were a product of the abuse. I look at my son, at the life I may have had were I not the target of a predator, and it helps me understand more about my own life.

We're all here for ya, Dan. Each and every person here, I believe, would love nothing more than for one of us to step completely out of the darkness that binds us together. Welcome, and remember, you're among friends you can finally trust.

bighug.gif Abrolake

#13 phoenyx


    Native Spirit in the wind

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Posted 28 June 2004 - 06:28 PM

(((Dan))) Welcome to the group. I am sorry for all you have endured. This is a wonderful place to be while on your healing journey. Here, you will not travel alone. We are here to support you in any way that we can hug.gif

#14 Survivors sanctuary

Survivors sanctuary

    We were beset by conflicts without and by fears within

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Posted 01 July 2004 - 06:32 AM

We are a group of people who give small amounts of hope and support as we can and we hope you can be a part of this wonderful group of people and that it helps you hug.gif