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Invalidation. Words Can Hurt!


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#736 Venia

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 02:31 AM

"If you're not having a sexual relationship with your husband you need to start."

Great advice, thanks. I can't do it without getting upset and it turns into a bad experience for us both, but I guess I can just grit my teeth and do it anyway. A positive experience isn't important, right?

#737 PetalsInTheWind

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 02:42 AM

"You are nothing but a selfish b*tch and never there for ******. She is always there for you, but you're never there for her. You are a fake, everyone knows what you're really like lol"

cry.gif

#738 PetalsInTheWind

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 02:42 AM

"You are nothing but a selfish b*tch and never there for ******. She is always there for you, but you're never there for her. You are a fake, everyone knows what you're really like lol"

cry.gif

#739 Venia

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Posted 05 January 2011 - 02:15 AM

QUOTE (PetalsInTheWind @ Dec 31 2010, 06:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"You are nothing but a selfish b*tch and never there for ******. She is always there for you, but you're never there for her. You are a fake, everyone knows what you're really like lol"

cry.gif


((((PITW))))

That's horrible, and, I'm sure, totally untrue.


Another one that I got:

"I think that the most traumatic thing about what happened to you was that you kept making the decision to go back to him. I implore you to ask God for forgiveness."

Never mind that he told me he would kill himself if I left him. Apparently it's all my fault.

Fail.

#740 uncountedstatistics

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Posted 08 February 2011 - 05:30 PM

[when my 2 sociopathic attackers showed up AT MY HOME] "I don't see why a person as courageous as you is running away and living in their car, just go home."

The only person I had left to trust said that.

#741 shortcake

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Posted 09 February 2011 - 12:57 PM

--

Edited by shortcake, 13 June 2011 - 12:17 PM.


#742 blackfrog

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Posted 11 February 2011 - 07:12 PM

My mother-in-law:
"Well, it takes a lot of love to forgive."
Yeah, and seeing as I've hated my father for almost 30 years, what makes you think I'll forgive him?!?

"Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer." (in regards to me trying to remember what happened to me)
When did I say I didn't want the answers?! Maybe YOU don't want them so you can still think your rich, guarded life was worse than anyone's.... but I want the answers!!!





My father-in-law before he knew:
"You don't know what it's like to have a rough life. I had to drag my father in from the front lawn at night 'cause he was too drunk to make it in the house! That's a hard life!!!" (which led to him talking about him being hit - not belittling this AT ALL - just showing where the conversation went)

My husband stopped my father-in-law one day (cause this is a common rant of his). This is how it went:
"Well, you know, I had to drag..."
"Yeah, Dad, I know... and *blackfrog* would trade places with you IN A SECOND!"
"Oh..... I'm so sorry. Tell her I'm there if she ever needs to talk."
At least that one had a happy ending. smile.gif


My mother:
"Well, you must have misunderstood."
Yeah, I misunderstood a 65 year old man groping the chest of a 16 year old girl and sticking his down down her throat - complete lack of miscommunication on my part.


I'll be back for more - have company.


#743 hopeprays

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Posted 11 February 2011 - 07:31 PM

Pastor to me when I asked for help - husband was raging....

"It seems to me that when you leave the house -

it escalates the situation and causes things to get blown out of proportion.

You should stay home - and negotiate agreement"

with the man you chose to marry and spend your life with."

Really?
Ya think?
Maybe you only see his rage when I run away - cause otherwise he is
throwing it in my face instead of yours?



#744 WingedDragon

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Posted 12 February 2011 - 02:31 PM



My brother, on the abuse I experienced that he only remembers bits and pieces of.....

"It would be better if you stopped dwelling on the past and looked to the future" or "keep your chin up, you are stronger than you think"
"Why do you think about it all the time? Focus on something else"
"It was a long time ago and you should be better by now"
" I only expect you to do your best, that's all"
"I helped you last year because I felt so guilty about what happened when we were kids" He was rescued and I wasn't. His "help" came at the cost of any crumb of pride I might have scraped off the floor and why wasn't it out of love? "I have been there for you and the kids for twenty years and I came to see you every weekend when I lived in NYC and I've always tried to be there for you." No mention of love, or of him feeling he was getting anything out of our relationship, all about what he had done and how much he had tried and so on and so forth.....
Today, on my inability to pay my counselor anymore and not being able to see her now. "Why can't you go? How are you going to manage without counseling?" He was the one who offered to pay my copays so that I could F*cking go! Then he decided to stop after I ended up in the hospital.
"I love you, but....."

#745 QuietEmily

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Posted 14 April 2011 - 12:26 PM

My mom said "I can't believe you let it go on this long without telling me. You should have told me, this is your fault."

#746 stardustblue

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Posted 11 May 2011 - 06:35 AM

"Just get over it already." - Mom

"Your dad wasn't that bad." - former best friend.


Because being sexually assaulted by your father since the age of four is always a hoot.

#747 hummingbird

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Posted 23 May 2011 - 03:47 PM

Discussing with an 'acquaintance' (I do not choose to spend time with her!) about why clothing makes absolutely no difference in a victim's rape. Her:

"Well I think that short skirts make a difference because then it makes it quicker and easier for rapists to pull them up."

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#748 whitedove

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Posted 27 May 2011 - 07:44 PM

I have had everything said to me at some stage.

"He is a nice man" - I cringe now when I hear anyone say that

"This topic is making me sad"

A therapist say to me = go to someone else to talk about this topic????

A therapist say "You talk about this too much" when I had not even started and I was not even seeing that one weekly. Like aren't they supposed to listen anyway. I told him off, he apologised.

Telling other people, and then coming back and telling you they have told other people. Do people not understand privacy


Silence

Edited by whitedove, 27 May 2011 - 07:45 PM.


#749 Guest_Roamer_*

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Posted 28 May 2011 - 03:15 AM

Edited to protect me.

Edited by Roamer, 14 June 2011 - 05:38 PM.


#750 Aena

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Posted 28 May 2011 - 03:28 AM

QUOTE (Roamer @ May 28 2011, 03:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think sometimes people are very clueless and ungrateful.
So true.

I've had someone say to me that it was basically my fault because I didn't stop it.

And I had someone ask if I liked it.

Edited by Aena, 28 May 2011 - 06:48 AM.