Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.
|Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.
After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.
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Introducing Me (angelhugs)
Posted 02 June 2004 - 07:20 PM
Hi I guess this is gonna be a post of introduction for Me, have known Haullie longgggg time now although we havent spoken in ages missing Her as usual... Hopes Your doing okay Haullie
Well I am 22 from UK, Im Portuguese american, kinda a mutt because i got german, french, irish, spanish, portuguese, american in me as well as english and romani lol... I am true blood romani btw... my mother was a romani gyspy, and no i live in a house lol. Well, a 1 bedroom apartment on ground floor which I hate.
Im a survivor of several kinds of abuse, mental, physical, emotional, sexual and ritualistic abuse that took place over the first 18 years of my life. I used to have a site, http://www.survivorshaven.tk, just not updated it in over a year, going to start working on it again soon *haullie did the flash! heheh*
I dont want to get into too much details, not in intro post anyway, because am kinda shy when starting in a new forum although I know Haullie, thinks Shes only one I know here.
Well, I guess thats it for now. smiles.
Posted 02 June 2004 - 09:15 PM
Welcome to After Silence. I am sorry you have a reason for being here; but I am glad you have found this place. I'm glad to see you love Haullie as much as WE do!! I hope you find the healing you are looking for. Welcome to the Family!
Posted 02 June 2004 - 09:18 PM
Posted 02 June 2004 - 10:05 PM
Posted 03 June 2004 - 01:18 AM
Take precious care of yourself
Posted 03 June 2004 - 02:32 AM
I'm sorry you had to suffer so much darling. We are glad you're here and hopefully I and everyone else can help you as much as possible :) <3
Posted 03 June 2004 - 06:45 AM
Posted 03 June 2004 - 03:01 PM
Posted 03 June 2004 - 03:02 PM
Posted 03 June 2004 - 03:43 PM
Life still hectic as always. Am kinda in middle of court case at moment, my ex, tony, hes stalking me, looking into receipts, letting himself into house, refuses to give me keys, checking everywhere i go, what i eat, what i drink, everything. i feel so violated and nothing i can do at moment sighs.
trying get an injunction against him.
love you haullie have missed you terribly
Posted 04 June 2004 - 12:10 AM
Posted 04 June 2004 - 08:15 AM
Ok I will give you the lowdown on what has happened to Me lately....
Back in March 2003 My father died, as You may already be aware Haullie. He had been diagnosed with Cancer in November of 2002 and by February was in and out of hospital after loosing so much weight it was unbelievable, it got to where I was a full time carer for Him, toileting, bathing, everything... Eventually he was called back to hospital for tests and they kept him in and he died at 8:32am Saturday morning of the 15th March 2003 at Chesterfield Royal Hospital, UK.
At this time I was working as a Head Accountant in the Town, and I had gone that friday before He died and all seemed fine. Sighs, I guess not. He woke up at 8am and ate breakfast... then He put His head down to sleep and He died. Of course, knowing His family (He was My foster Dad), I was the last to know about it.
A few weeks later, to help with rent, I took in a friend and Her boyfriend, Tammy and Ryan... and Her three kids, a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 7 month old baby. Things were fine until they got possessive... they were lodgers and I was basically run out of My home for a while. When I finally returned to the home, it was in a right state... it was messed up, I had to have a new kitchen installed, new bathroom, the main bedroom floor had to be redone completely (there was a hole from the master bedroom to the living room)... so not sure what they did.
Anyway, for three months after returning from my step moms house after the break away, I put up with abuse from Her and Him... He would get the kids to damage the property within the house, I would be held up to the wall with knives, I ended up in hospital 6 times in one week because of the battering I took from him... it got to where I even tried to kill myself... gladly it didn't work, I was hospitalised for 3 weeks then once released I got My things together and I moved out into My step moms place with Her fiancee and My daughter, and two step sisters.
Was fine after that for a while until She became very snotty about things, regarding rent and whatever else... still getting death threats from Tammy's boyfriend Ryan (one of my old lodgers), the council kicked them out the house as they wasnt paying rent etc after I left it, so of course, I got beat up and blamed for that too... another hospital visit.
I just couldnt take it no more, I put myself into counselling then after a week of that I backed out, too nervous to open up to someone face to face, yah I still have that issue... trying to overcome it, but is near on impossible at this present time.
August comes and I meet Tony, My now ex. Anyway, was with him up until ummmmm two weeks ago, we was to get engaged and such but we aint now. I will get to that in a moment.
I moved into His apartment (1 bedroom flat) in November of 2003 and went okay, got on internet, enjoyed what time i spent on internet... but in December I put in for my own place and on 1st January my new tenency started in my very own apartment, he helped me move in, and decorate, and everything else, and everything was fine... moved in on the 17th February.
Anyway, to move recent crap... after finishing with tony hes been refusing to give me the spare set of keys back to my apartment. He has been spying on Me constantly, finding out things such as where Ive been, at what times, how long for, what ive been buying, looking at receipts, letting himself into my flat at 3am in the morning and stealing off with my cell phone, now ive had to report it stolen, and getting stupid injunction out of him, and everything else, and right now i feel like im being stalked, i have no privacy at all, i thought this would change when i got my new place... he wont leave me in peace... am sure its another form of abuse, because i felt just as bad when natural dad did what he did to me.
All i do right now is sit on bed and cry, curled up as tight as i can, or sat on pc venting... still full of tears... the self harming isnt as bad but i do get the strong urges... and i really do want to well you know, but im trying my best not to.
Haullie, Im not as strong as some make me out to be, i may have survived but whats it left me with?
Posted 05 June 2004 - 05:16 PM
Sweetheart, do yourself a favor and get the locks changed on your apartment. It's not terribly expensive and can save you much grief. Maybe you could ask your landlord to do it for you. I think your peace of mind deserves that much, hon.