Ok I will give you the lowdown on what has happened to Me lately....
Back in March 2003 My father died, as You may already be aware Haullie. He had been diagnosed with Cancer in November of 2002 and by February was in and out of hospital after loosing so much weight it was unbelievable, it got to where I was a full time carer for Him, toileting, bathing, everything... Eventually he was called back to hospital for tests and they kept him in and he died at 8:32am Saturday morning of the 15th March 2003 at Chesterfield Royal Hospital, UK.
At this time I was working as a Head Accountant in the Town, and I had gone that friday before He died and all seemed fine. Sighs, I guess not. He woke up at 8am and ate breakfast... then He put His head down to sleep and He died. Of course, knowing His family (He was My foster Dad), I was the last to know about it.
A few weeks later, to help with rent, I took in a friend and Her boyfriend, Tammy and Ryan... and Her three kids, a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 7 month old baby. Things were fine until they got possessive... they were lodgers and I was basically run out of My home for a while. When I finally returned to the home, it was in a right state... it was messed up, I had to have a new kitchen installed, new bathroom, the main bedroom floor had to be redone completely (there was a hole from the master bedroom to the living room)... so not sure what they did.
Anyway, for three months after returning from my step moms house after the break away, I put up with abuse from Her and Him... He would get the kids to damage the property within the house, I would be held up to the wall with knives, I ended up in hospital 6 times in one week because of the battering I took from him... it got to where I even tried to kill myself... gladly it didn't work, I was hospitalised for 3 weeks then once released I got My things together and I moved out into My step moms place with Her fiancee and My daughter, and two step sisters.
Was fine after that for a while until She became very snotty about things, regarding rent and whatever else... still getting death threats from Tammy's boyfriend Ryan (one of my old lodgers), the council kicked them out the house as they wasnt paying rent etc after I left it, so of course, I got beat up and blamed for that too... another hospital visit.
I just couldnt take it no more, I put myself into counselling then after a week of that I backed out, too nervous to open up to someone face to face, yah I still have that issue... trying to overcome it, but is near on impossible at this present time.
August comes and I meet Tony, My now ex. Anyway, was with him up until ummmmm two weeks ago, we was to get engaged and such but we aint now. I will get to that in a moment.
I moved into His apartment (1 bedroom flat) in November of 2003 and went okay, got on internet, enjoyed what time i spent on internet... but in December I put in for my own place and on 1st January my new tenency started in my very own apartment, he helped me move in, and decorate, and everything else, and everything was fine... moved in on the 17th February.
Anyway, to move recent crap... after finishing with tony hes been refusing to give me the spare set of keys back to my apartment. He has been spying on Me constantly, finding out things such as where Ive been, at what times, how long for, what ive been buying, looking at receipts, letting himself into my flat at 3am in the morning and stealing off with my cell phone, now ive had to report it stolen, and getting stupid injunction out of him, and everything else, and right now i feel like im being stalked, i have no privacy at all, i thought this would change when i got my new place... he wont leave me in peace... am sure its another form of abuse, because i felt just as bad when natural dad did what he did to me.
All i do right now is sit on bed and cry, curled up as tight as i can, or sat on pc venting... still full of tears... the self harming isnt as bad but i do get the strong urges... and i really do want to well you know, but im trying my best not to.
Haullie, Im not as strong as some make me out to be, i may have survived but whats it left me with?
