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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

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Guest Message by DevFuse

Kind Of New.....

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7 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_healingcop_*

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Posted 20 May 2004 - 11:50 PM

I posted on this board quite some time ago and felt like I had nothing to offer to anyone so I didn't post much at all. I apologize for that - I have been in Law Enforcement for 14 years and when I was sexually assaulted - I had to take a leave of absense and thought that I would never be strong enough to return back to that line of work. I was able to return to work and that, I am grateful! I have to be honest by saying that although I have returned back to work, I find myself with a huge amount of fear even though the rape didn't occur while on Duty. I thought that I would just be able to shake all of this fear and bad nightmares I was having. So far, I haven't been able to shake this part.


#2 sojourner

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Posted 21 May 2004 - 09:52 AM

dear healingcop

i'm sorry for what you are going through. i remember how terrified i used to be to be around people at all, and i was really nervous and had a lot of anxiety when i went back to work. its even harder if you have a job in which you are faced with real potential danger. it takes a while for the nightmares to go away.

i don't know if you are seeing a counselor, i didn't but i know its highly recommended.

anyway, give yourself time. if you are able to work again YAY! that's a HUGE step. It took about a year after I started working again before I was able to be comfortable around people even though my assault had nothing to do with my job.

good luck!

#3 BalueMana


    Out of the Mist

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Posted 21 May 2004 - 01:47 PM

Healing Cop,

I'm so sorry you are having this to deal with - it's it's even sadder to know this has happened to a person dedicated to making the world safe for perfect strangers hug.gif -
(although I confess, it's nice to see a fellow Atlantan. thumbsup.gif )

I can only imagine the mix of emotions that must be turning within.
To be a cop and have this happen must create a unique web of emotions to deal with.

However I want to say, I am an ever greatfull member of the society in which you directly help make safe. Knowing that you perform this often thankless task while dealing with this personal injustice - makes me ever more humbled.

For whatever it is worth................

If there is ANYTHING I can do to help you or just lend an ear - consider me "here".

Sending The Best of Wishes to "my" gal in Blue,

#4 Guest_queenie_*

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Posted 21 May 2004 - 01:51 PM


I agree with Balue. What a courageous woman you are and very selfless with your line of work! clapping.gif I am sorry what happened to you and I am glad you have made it back to the board! Please don't feel that you have nothing to offer, its about your healing...and we are all here to help you and support you!!

((Sending You Lots of Love))


#5 Ardatha


    Ardatha's Shadow Monster

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Posted 21 May 2004 - 04:12 PM

Healingcop, every person has something to offer. To think that you don't somehow seems to me that you are undervaluing yourself. Please don't do that. If nothing else you can lend an understanding ear which is frequently needed by survivors of sexual abuse. I'm sure you'd agree with me on that. Being supportive to survivors of sexual abuse is also a very valuable gift of yourself to offer. That you are also a police officer shows that you have the heart needed to reach out to the people here who are hurting and need just that much from you. As a survivor of rape, you can also expect that there are many here who've been there too and they can help you further your healing process. So, you see there are many benefits to being a survivor and a supporter of other suvivors.

The suggestion of finding a good therapist has much merit. A good one can help tremendously. It's what they do. smile.gif

Stay safe,


#6 aquapit


    ~Beauty is all around~

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Posted 22 May 2004 - 11:21 AM

hug.gif Healingcop hug.gif Welcome! I want to also thank you for being such a strong, courageous person. I'm so sorry for what you have been through. You are not alone here. I hope you find what you are looking for here. This group is a very kind, supportive group.

Take precious care of yourself.


#7 your.beautiful.mistake



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Posted 22 May 2004 - 01:02 PM

((Healing Cop))

You are very strong to endure what you have. Take your time to know the people here, and take gentle care of yourself.


#8 phoenyx


    Native Spirit in the wind

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Posted 28 May 2004 - 07:57 PM

(((Healingcop))) Warm Welcome. You are strong and brave for having survived. I am in awe of your courageousness to be able to return to your profession in Law Enforcement. We are all on various levels of our healing journey and we all have something to offer each other. Be gentle with yourself as you continue to heal. May you find inner peace.