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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.org@gmail.com
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#1 Ardatha

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Posted 16 May 2004 - 05:46 PM

I just found this board and although I've considered myself pretty far along in the healing process, I was almost choked up to realize that a place like this exists. There have been times when I have needed a place like this, even recently.

I am 51 years old, a grandmother of three wonderful boys. I am the survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I am currently married the second time around to the most wonderful, caring, nurturing, decent man on the face of the planet. He knows my story and has done something for me that no one has ever done in my entire life... he's held me in his arms when I cry. As a child I was told to shut up or I'd really get something to cry about. As an adult, my ex husband loved making me cry and refused to comfort me, claiming it was sign of weakness to cry and I didn't deserve to be comforted. I suppose that was another form of abuse, but he's way in my past. I met my current husband online which was amazing considering it wasn't done way back then (12 years and counting! LOL).

So, I am sure there will be times when I will appreciate a place like this and am looking forward to getting to know everyone. smile.gif

#2 Guest_Dreamer_*

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Posted 16 May 2004 - 06:05 PM

Welcome.

There are lots of really great people here. Sounds like you're pretty far along on your healing journey. I'm so happy that your husband holds you when you cry, Why dion't more people do that?

~ Cindy.

#3 Guest_black opal_*

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Posted 16 May 2004 - 07:20 PM

Welcome Ardatha,

I too am 51 years old - I think we are probably among the oldest members of this very youthful community. I am the mother of four children - one of whom is a survivor of CSA which is what brought me to this site. My daughter is also a member of this community (Boo Bradley). This is a wonderful place and has helped my daughter very much. I am very happy that you now have a caring and loving husband - that is one of the greatest things in life - I know because I have been married to a terrific guy for close to 22 years.

Take care,
Opal

#4 Ardatha

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Posted 16 May 2004 - 09:25 PM

Thank you for the welcomes.

Dreamer, I don't know the answer to that one. It's a shame because it's one of the most therapeutic things a person can have done for them. smile.gif

Black Opal, if you don't mind me asking, what's CSA? I've wracked my brain and can't come up with anything it could be. smile.gif

#5 Guest_black opal_*

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Posted 16 May 2004 - 10:00 PM

CSA stands for child sexual abuse smile.gif

#6 Sookie

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 05:14 AM

dance.gif Welcome,i hope u love it hear as much as the rest of us!!!! smile.gif



hug.gif & wub.gif
Sookie smile.gif xoxo

#7 betty

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 08:20 AM

Welcome Ardatha,
i hope you find what you are looking for smile.gif

emmax

#8 BalueMana

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 09:47 AM

QUOTE(Ardatha @ May 16 2004, 05:46 PM)
As a child I was told to shut up or I'd really get something to cry about. 

As an adult, my ex husband loved making me cry and refused to comfort me,

Welcome Ardatha,

I'm glad you found here - and glad to hear your healing journey has hit calmer waters... Yes, I know to well how, no matter how past it you are, it can still creep up and surprise you with a new angle to slap you from - that's how I ended up here too.

Two statements you made really hit home with me.

that first one - must be something AssH*les pass along to one another - it was my fathers favorite expression as well. You could have an ax sticking out of your head and he'd still say it. hammer.gif

That second one - Was my Xhusbands -
for thirteen years - if I cried, 9 times outta 10 - he'd respond with a sarcastic...... Weyannhhhhhh!! :baby: -
used to make me bullistic!!
I did finally learn not to cry so much though- shedded very few tears AFTER I decided to leave him.... tongue.gif .

Anyway, welcome to the site and I look forward to getting to know you.

Balue

#9 your.beautiful.mistake

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 09:49 AM

(((Ardatha)))

Welcome to the boards. Take time to look around and get comfortable. I'm so sorry you've had to endure so much and I hope you find all the love and support here that you need.

((safe hugs))

Alex


#10 Lindy

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 10:36 AM

Ardatha,

Welcome to After Silence. I'm sorry for the experiences that brought you here, but I am glad you have found this place. Hope you find the support and encouragement you're seeking here.

Take gentle care,

Lindy

#11 Ardatha

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 12:39 PM

Thank you everyone for the very warm welcomes! I can tell this is a very good place to be. That's extremely encouraging.

Balue, are you my long lost sister??? I know exactly what you mean about the ax sticking out of your head. There were many times I'd injured myself as a child and got that response. Very supportive, no?

Anyway, again, thank you all for the welcomes! I truly appreciate them.

#12 Guest_queenie_*

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 12:57 PM

((BIG HUGS))

You are a very strong woman!! I am so glad you have joined our community here!! I really hope you find any peace or further healing you are looking for!


queenie

#13 Ardatha

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Posted 17 May 2004 - 01:04 PM

Queenie, thank you. My husband tells me that all the time, but you know, I don't feel strong at all. I guess I must be to be a survivor (I refuse to be a victim) but how come I never feel like it? LOL

I love the quotes at the end of your message, too!

#14 phoenyx

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Posted 20 May 2004 - 11:00 AM

Welcome to the group Ardatha! You are a strong woman who has been through so much hug.gif I too am a grandmother (of a very busy 2yr old boy!) - I will be 43 in Nov. I wish you inner peace.

#15 Kelly

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Posted 20 May 2004 - 07:17 PM

Welcome Ardatha~

Sorry you have a reason to be here, but I welcome you to walk this journey with us.

Take care.
~Kelly