Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.
|Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.
After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.
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Empathy, Sympathy Or Directive When Supporting You Choose
Posted 31 August 2007 - 09:59 AM
Posted 24 June 2010 - 06:01 AM
i totally agree empathy is whats needed, but not everyone has it in them to offer empathy to everyone, and when they throw sympathy your way it just feels false and useless. supposedly caring for your plight when they actually dont even have the capacity to get it is really diminishing it and that hurts, and it feels intrusive, like touching without trust. heard this recently from a teen i used to work with talking about s/h and how people see scars and say oh poor you are you ok and how intrusive that feels, how invalidating. the hurt that others jsut dont get it is imense. if you dont get it jst give space because tactless words hurt worse than silence.
Posted 01 March 2011 - 09:08 PM
Posted 14 March 2011 - 11:56 AM
I'm the second because I feel like that's all I can offer most of the time, like I don't have it in me to be the 3rd.
I think the 3rd is usually the most helpful, though the 2nd is always nice, and sometimes I need the 1st for some no nonsense perspective.