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Empathy, Sympathy Or Directive When Supporting You Choose


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63 replies to this topic

#61 audionectar

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Posted 31 August 2007 - 09:59 AM

I think I'm a but of all three I honestly hate it when my T tells me back to me what I am feeling cause I just get this "no sh*t" feeling inside of me, and I appreciate any advice that is given to me that is sound and respectful, I don't normally want or ask for hugs but I try to give them freely if others need them. So I usually try to empathize first then give the person some sound advice on getting out of the whole while encouraging them that they can do it, then hug them when they are out to give them the emotional support they need, but it really depends on each individual story I come about. I think I take the dear Abby approach. But I know that climbing onto the whole with them will not do me or them any good so I can only empathize emotionally with my compassion and not throw myself into emotional or physical harm.

#62 rox

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Posted 24 June 2010 - 06:01 AM

love this thread!!!!!!!

i totally agree empathy is whats needed, but not everyone has it in them to offer empathy to everyone, and when they throw sympathy your way it just feels false and useless. supposedly caring for your plight when they actually dont even have the capacity to get it is really diminishing it and that hurts, and it feels intrusive, like touching without trust. heard this recently from a teen i used to work with talking about s/h and how people see scars and say oh poor you are you ok and how intrusive that feels, how invalidating. the hurt that others jsut dont get it is imense. if you dont get it jst give space because tactless words hurt worse than silence.

#63 uncountedstatistics

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Posted 01 March 2011 - 09:08 PM

Unconditional love. If not for the person specifically then for humankind, oneself, and one's God. The rest of it all has to come from there or it's just dust in the wind. There's a time for empathy, a time for sympathy, and a time for directive even but it all has to come from love. Unconditional love is a mover of mountains and unfolds over time, slowly, but the effects are real and began before the love was even discovered by anybody else.

#64 shortcake

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 11:56 AM

I am the second one, though on a rare occasion I can be the third. As far as I remember I don't think I have ever been the first one, though I could be wrong.

I'm the second because I feel like that's all I can offer most of the time, like I don't have it in me to be the 3rd.

I think the 3rd is usually the most helpful, though the 2nd is always nice, and sometimes I need the 1st for some no nonsense perspective.