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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

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Guest Message by DevFuse
 

I Am New And Very Alone


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10 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_trueredhead_*

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 07:17 PM

I've been searching for hours and hours looking for someone else to talk to that has been in the same situation as me. I was raped after being drugged, raped by more than one person, and beaten close to death. I've never been abused or attacked outside of this experience. I wasn't foolish enough to leave my drink unattended or at a big party or bar, and there really wasn't much else I could do in the way of protecting myself. I have a hard time with the fact that I wasn't even give the chance to say no. Anybody that can help?

#2 Vera

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 07:22 PM

trueredhead,

welcome to After Silence sweetie. What happened to you is awful and I just can't get used to these kind of things no matter how many times I hear them....these evil actions will always make me angry and full of sadness.

Please feel free to post anytime you want and talk with us if it helps you. There will always be someone here for you. I know that sometimes it gets incredibly difficult but there is hope for a better future. I have seen it, I have seen people recovering and enjoying their life once again....this is why I will not give up. They showed me that healing is possible and that we can all make it. We are here for you....

Hugs,
Verena

#3 Sookie

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 07:33 PM

Welcome 2 this wonderful site ful of friendship & love. smile.gif
Im sorry u need 2 b here,i hope we can help u in ur healing in anyway we can..
I hope u find this a safe place that it is..
Every1 here is understandin,kinda,compassionate..
Hope 2 get 2 know u more..
((huggles,smiles en friendship love..)) Sookie smile.gif xo

#4 aquapit

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 07:36 PM

(((trueredhead))) Welcome to After Silence. I am so sorry you have a reason to be here, and I am so sorry for what you have been through. No one should ever have to go through that. What was done to you was a terrible, terrible thing.

You are not alone here. This is a very supportive, helpful place to be. Take your time looking around and getting comfortable with us. We are here for you.

Take precious care of yourself.

#5 Guest_trueredhead_*

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 07:53 PM

Thank you for your warm welcomes. I think that I will probably post my story in the next couple of days, but right now it's just nice to have SOMEONE listening to me. My attack was so horribly violent and it's been four months, but I had to move to the other side of the state, because I only know what one of the rapists look like- I used to be so scared, walking around and wondering if the guy at the gas station or next to me in the grocery store was one of the 'bad guys.' I have supportive family, but of course right now I'm only beginning to break through those barriers of 'if we ignore it, it will go away.' I'm tired of all this waiting. For peace of mind, for the trial, for someone to ask me how I'm feeling about it at least ONCE. The 13th of the month is the 'anniversary', everybody knows, but nobody cares enough to get over THEIR awkwardness to ask how I am. I don't have to talk about it all the time, but I need to start talking more because it would help and I'm going insane. My counselor and victim-witness listen; I know they care, but it's also their job. I wanted everyone to be as mad and frustrated as I am!

#6 Guest_Madonna_*

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 10:32 PM

((((trueredhead)))))
I can't take away what happened but please talk to me if you ever need anything. Please join us in our healing. Everyone here is very supportive. I think it will be really great for you. (((Hugs)))

Madonna

#7 Guest_Dreamer_*

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 10:33 PM

Dear TrueRedHead,

I'm so sorry. I read about GHB a few years ago, a woman, a journalist who had gone through it. It must be so awful, to know something like that happened and to not be able to remember it, so that you can even claim it. I would think it would be like a muffled scream. So much pain inside that can't even make it' s way to the surface. everyone here has been through much different experiences, but the human experience has some common threads. this is a wonderful resource , I hope your healing begins, that you start to surface, trust and enjoy life again...

Listening to you,
~ Dreamer.

#8 phoenyx

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Posted 17 April 2004 - 07:48 PM

(((trueredhead))) Welcome to After Silence. I am so sorry for all that you were made to endure. Know that there will always be someone here to listen and you are not alone. We walk with you in your healing journey. This is an incredible place for support. Be gentle with yourself as you heal.

#9 Clarissa

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Posted 17 April 2004 - 09:07 PM

(((trueredhead)))) welcome to AFter Silence. I am so sorry for all the horrors that have been inflicted on you. I am glad you found your way here. Please let me know how i can help. You are very strong and very insightful. I am sorry that you are not getting the support you need. It can be a very lonely thing.... we are here for you, sweetie. We will listen, and we will stand by you. I know it's tough, but hang in there...it will get better...
QUOTE
The 13th of the month is the 'anniversary', everybody knows, but nobody cares enough to get over THEIR awkwardness to ask how I am.
This made me cry... i know what you mean... it makes it feel all the more shameful...and one can start to feel all the more alone... and i know it's not the same talking to it with a therapist who is paid to listen... it's not much, but i'm here for you always... i know it's not the same cuz i'm a million miles away, but whenever you need a friend, or a shoulder to cry on, i'm here... we all are. Hang in there, sweetie. You have come a long way already!
much love, clarissa

#10 Guest_geezzzlouise_*

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Posted 20 April 2004 - 09:38 PM

hey (((comfy hug)))...i was raped too. sad.gif
fortunately, mine was not has horrible as yours. unfortunately, i'm still dealing with a lot the same things inside. take pride in the fact that you are here trying to find some ground. that's why i'm here.
my anniversary is the 30th. every 30th adds another month. may 30th will be a year for me.
we are here for you...
-sylvia "geezzzlouise"

#11 Guest_barsik_*

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Posted 21 April 2004 - 10:34 AM

QUOTE(trueredhead @ Apr 15 2004, 05:17 PM)
I've been searching for hours and hours looking for someone else to talk to that has been in the same situation as me. I was raped after being drugged, raped by more than one person, and beaten close to death. I've never been abused or attacked outside of this experience. I wasn't foolish enough to leave my drink unattended or at a big party or bar, and there really wasn't much else I could do in the way of protecting myself. I have a hard time with the fact that I wasn't even give the chance to say no. Anybody that can help?


I'm very sorry to hear of the awful tragedy that has fallen upon you. The only advice I can think of at the moment is to minimize the amount of time you spend alone and to surround yourself with friends.