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The Inner Child Thread
Posted 11 November 2005 - 09:48 AM
What a rough life we seem to be having right now.... why is it that life is never static?. suddenly we think that we are getting on to the straight and narrow and then wham something comes along and kncks us back completely.
For a few days i felt that you had gone into hiding, i don't blame you for that because i also felt like going into hiding.
The burden of living is too hard right now.
I don't want to be me, you don't want to be you. amd i think were both running scared.....
and this time i don't have the answers or the strength to help you or me.
Edited by Dawn, 11 November 2005 - 09:48 AM.
Posted 11 November 2005 - 10:10 AM
her name is winnie the whiner: this is what I want to say to her ,
I am going through a really hard time AS is my support system cuz my hubby sure the hell isn't. So I come here day after day after day, part of me wants to stop coming, part me doesn't because there are people on her I actually care about. Then winnie decides to pop her weak little soul into my life, opening up, trusting Beth my T, trying to help me see the good side of my marriage, yea things were better when you were gone I was protected, I was guarded. but now I have open wounds that I can't seem to freakin heal because you had to come out. Well I say get the f*** away from me your weak, pathetic, sensitive, sorry butt needs to leave me alone. I really do hate you winnie, your supposed to be all innocent and sweet and loving, and your not. I want to get in touch with you about as much as I want to put a sword through my eye. Then Ruthie had to start this thread, and your azz had to be curious and read it and now here I am writing a freakin letter to something that doesn't exist because she is too pathetic to survive.
OMG why am I writing a letter to someone I don't evn believe in I think I have really lost it.
Posted 12 November 2005 - 08:43 AM
No offence people but this is what I think of my inner child .
My inner child is dead . I buried her in the yarra river along with the pills I intended to take a few weeks ago . She exists of nothing but unpleasant memories. The inner child who was hurt is now gone forever . I am a person who can now protect herself . I am not her anymore, I am no longer a timid kid but a fighter - I fought against the odds and I am seeing what I can really do with my potential now . I mourn her lost childhood but I cannot not dwell on it anymore - the past is long gone by and I shouldn't allow the memory of abuse to rule my life anymore - it is getting exhaustive . I am my own child , I am my own fighter and I rule my own destiny and future.
Edited by Karma, 12 November 2005 - 08:44 AM.
Posted 12 November 2005 - 09:28 AM
It's okay, your safe!
That's all I want to say. Just felt I needed to tell her that.... and myself.
Posted 12 November 2005 - 12:05 PM
i'm not ready to say much to mine for now. I feel that i've only really connected with her only once, and to be honest, i've been keeping her silent since.
i'm not ready yet...but this thread surely will keep this in my mind,
***hugs to everybody***
Posted 12 November 2005 - 02:32 PM
Last night you had such a strange night, didnt you? Things came rushing through your head, what happened to you when you were small and so unsure of life. All you wanted then was to find some comfort and love. You never questioned anything, you only accepted...you were so innocent! Then you started to find your feet again, you believed in yourself, you became strong yet never told anybody about how much you were hurting.....
Never did I think this will have such an impact in your life, so many years have passed. Yet, I know you want to be forever happy, young at heart. That movie upset you last night. Beaches, with Bette Midler....you surpressed ''other'' memories too, that of losing the best friend you ever had. It was her favourite movie and the two of you watched it together, laughing and crying together. And last night, you remembered, and you cried for the first time in years. You miss your friend, and so do I. I wish I allowed you to cry when you needed to, I wish that I could have told you time will heal the hurt of losing somebody sů precious and important in your life. But instead I turned a blind eye and tried to carry on with life as if nothing happened. WHy didnt I ever listen to you???? I am so sorry for being such a terrible person...
Posted 13 November 2005 - 03:19 AM
it's ok honey. you were crying before, scared that the men would hurt you again. but i promise. NO ONE is going to hurt you ever again. i am bigger and stronger now, i can protect you. we will do lots of fun things together and i will make you feel safe again. i promise.
Posted 13 November 2005 - 07:27 AM
Posted 13 November 2005 - 11:22 PM
Posted 14 November 2005 - 05:34 AM
I also think my inner child may be dead, or she is hiding pretty damm hard ~ maybe i will try and find her later
Posted 14 November 2005 - 06:58 AM
Little Bee just wrote a letter. Suddenly. I knew she was feeling talkative, as she started saying things to me on the bus on the way back from therapy. She'd seen Hilary's next client there and it upset her.
So when I got home I made her some orange juice and let her sit at my computer.
However, I was not expecting what she wrote.
I think she's letting me share it.
Ruth wanted me to write her a letter. But I wanted to write one to you really. She is very scared of you I think, but Iím not. I have some orange juice with a straw. Actually two straws because I couldnít decide whether to have a pink one or an orange one. So I had both. And Ruth is cross now because she wanted me to write a letter to her that she could take to Hilary on Thursday. Hilary is her therapist by the way, but Ruth doesnít want you to know about that because she is a scaredy-cat but I donít really care.
You sometimes did silly things and I liked that. But Ruth is very serious and makes me talk about nasty things and that makes me worry that you will go away. Ruth couldnít care less if you went away. She wants you to go away because she hates you. But I donít hate you I donít think. Ruth wants Hilary to be her new mummy, and that makes me scared too and confused because I donít know how you can have two mummys.
I think that the reason there was someone else there today is because Hilary is getting fed up with Ruth being serious all the time and so has found a new girl to take her place because she might be more fun. And that is a real shame because I would like to have fun with Hilary. Iíd like to play with crayons and paints and maybe in the sand. But of course we canít do that because Ruth wants to talk about all the boring serious stuff. And also the stuff that makes me feel icky. But I donít want to talk about the icky stuff now. I think I just put that there because Ruth wanted me to and so I did because she has been kind to me for a change and has made me orange juice and is allowing me to sit at her computer and write this letter. She looks really funny though. I could pull her hair and make her look even more silly. And then she would be really cross.
Anyway, I know Ruth wonít let me send this letter. Sheíll say we have to bring it in to Hilary on Thursday instead. But never mind. Now she is telling me to stop.
Little Bee (I donít know why she calls me that, but itís okay)
I'm feeling completely freaked out, actually. Why the hell did she want to write to our mother? The thought of her sending a letter like that to our mother is f*cking terrifying. I need to give myself some time to think about all of this.
Posted 14 November 2005 - 09:54 AM