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The Inner Child Thread
Posted 31 October 2005 - 09:09 AM
I think as a child I was pretty stupid. The effort and pain it took to get into some of these places shows how stupid she must have been if they were of no protection.
Posted 31 October 2005 - 09:17 AM
I think as a kid I was constantly trying to please people I didn't like confrontation, I think she was weak and vunerable afraid to speak up. As an adult she now hides behind it, pathetic isn't it.
Posted 31 October 2005 - 06:06 PM
Compassion for what you have survived begins within ourselves. Not to step out of my place, but I don't take that comment as being nice to yourself.
I used to not understand the whole "inner child" idea as well...I tend to see people who do not "buy into the whole inner child thing" have yet to discover their own inner child.....
((Ruthie)) I really do think this is a great thread. ((hugs))
Today the little one inside of me got to play with Zak (nephew). While I felt exhausted from managing a 6 month old, and two dogs, I would suddenly burst out in song and dance in front of Zak to make him laugh. I sat and shrieked and giggled right along with him.
There is a deep fear inside of me that I believe is stemming from my little one. I think it has to do with a past of instability, constantly being uprooted and moved about, and dealing with conflict with loved ones/family. I'm here visiting with my family, and I absolutely do not under any circumstance want to go back to South Florida. I don't want to go back and sit alone in the dark, go to work all day and bust my butt, shove school under the table once again (b/c work doesn't think I should be up here trying to get school in order), I just want to stay here! I can see her inside of me, crossing my little arms across my chest, stamping my foot, puckering and shouting "NO I DON"T WANT TO!"....I can even tell you that my hair is stringing and deshevled from running around in the crisp morning air.
I know if I tell Scott I do not want to go back down there that will cause conflict between him and I. Its not that I don't want to be with him, I do, I just don't want to go back down there! I want to stay here with my family. I don't want to go to work at the bookstore, I'd rather continue with my own business, and make my own schedule, work from home....Both of us just feel exhausted (me and lil one)....and frustrated b/c I am not at a point where I can provide for myself (without a second income) and that makes lil one insecure....a problem that my parents had when I was younger......
I think she fears having to relive what happened then to what direction in life I am taking....Well I am rambling now and the trick or treaters are coming by so I gotta scoot on outta here.
Posted 31 October 2005 - 09:57 PM
Posted 01 November 2005 - 01:00 AM
she let me speek today to a nice lady called shawon. shawon likes uz. sumwun likes uz!
shawon gibs uz nice things to play wid. a toi cow that is all fallin to bits coz lots of littl girls and bois playd with it.
We likes Mel agen coz she let uz speek. wun fing she sed i not understan is dat we gots to lern wen is rite time to speek.
speekin all time is not gud mel said. sometimes she haz to speek, like at school an stuff. wot duz that meen?
we go for wawk now and look at pwetty flowrs and play wid doggies.
(now i can't keep her quiet, i let her speak once, and she wants to speak all the time. help!)
mel + little mel
Posted 01 November 2005 - 07:37 AM
But I have found this thread to be intresting. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my last post, if I did sorry.
Posted 01 November 2005 - 02:31 PM
It's funny how i relate to little kids so very very well, but give me an adult and its like i have been thrown into a pit of despair, i wouldn't mind but the adults at the nursery are not that friendly, which makes me recoil into my shell again, making me look quiet and stupid... all the other staff know one another and then there's me out on a limb.... however i must perservere at it because mum will go mad if i leave
I don't really like the way the nursery does lots of things, but for now i need to bite my tongue because im not in a position to say anything or make changes... that i also find hard. I really feel lonely in my job, and could just sit and cry
anyway little one, you don't need to be hearing me moan, i just wanna say that although im tired and stressed i haven't forgotten about you, and i don't want you to feel scared about the situation we find ourself in right now with regards to work, as there is nothing you can do about it.
Posted 01 November 2005 - 02:45 PM
Ive probably ended up doing this wrong so dont laugh!
Posted 01 November 2005 - 02:53 PM
Ive probably ended up doing this wrong so dont laugh!
There is no 'wrong' way to do this
You're doing just fine. Just take it as it comes. She is in there, and she will guide you.
Posted 01 November 2005 - 09:33 PM
Lately I've been having images in my mind from my childhood, I'm not sure what they are.... I wonder if maybe it is my inner child trying to speak. but I to scared of her. I seem to be scared of alot lately. It was always so hard for me after my father died. I was his little girl, and I still miss him so much. After he died I had to grow up so fast, I knew that things would never be the same. My mom starting complaining to me about all of her problems, the bills, money, family. I was 10!! what was I going to do about it all.
I can remember times I think she was trying to speak. The times when i was in high school and would want nothing more then to go home and play with my barbies. I still act so immature, I think its because I don't want her to speak. I'm always akward in social situations.
I'm sorry, I guess I didn't do this right. I'm not fully sure if i can let her talk or if i can talk to her, but saying all this did help.
If this is wrong I will delete it.....
Posted 02 November 2005 - 03:17 AM
I think like ruthie said there is no 'wrong' way of responding to this thread.... just post what yuo wnat when you want... its sometimes amazing to see what flows.
I know this thread for me has really helped my inner child and myself... i had previously done inner child work on my own, but not got very far in it, maybe because i pushed myself, maybe because i felt alone... using this thread means i don't feel quite so alone.
Thanks for this thread ruthie, its great to see how its 'developing'
Posted 02 November 2005 - 07:29 AM
Posted 02 November 2005 - 07:52 AM
Yes, of course she can
If you like, could you start by saying hello to her, and telling her that she is safe? We are here for both of you, but the person she probably most wants to hear from is you.
Posted 02 November 2005 - 07:58 AM
Edited by rainbowstar, 03 November 2005 - 02:59 AM.
Posted 03 November 2005 - 12:41 AM
we know you are very smart and have lots of questions and things you want to know. we also know you are scared to ask them, scared to come out and speak even though you want to, for fear i might keep you quiet. but remember when i let you speak with sharon? well we can do that more often here, it's very safe. there are lots of littles here who are just like you. you don't have to be brave all the time, you can be like a little girl, playful, messy, all those things you were taught were wrong.
it's not wrong. it's fine.