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The Inner Child Thread


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#421 briarrosa

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:51 PM

QUOTE (bazbun @ Dec 30 2010, 09:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm not sure about the inner child thing, it's not something my CBT doctor ever talked about but maybe the UK system isn't as open minded about that yet.

Anyway, today I had an argument with my husband because he accused me of lying (about something quite small) and was adamant that I was lying with no room for anything else. Not only that but he said that he was annoyed that he couldn't ask me something (where I may or may not lie...) without me flipping out if I was accused of lying... he said he should be able to ask me without me reacting like I do. Anyhow, that said, I tried to remain calm (despite seething inside about it knowing there was no way of vindicating myself) and I came upstairs to distract myself. I ended up sobbing so much I nearly made myself sick. He seemed surprised and asked me why I was so upset. I couldn't answer properly and just said that I felt like exploding but couldn't. He went out into town for something and I began the diary writing process which didn't go so well, managed a few lines but was sobbing too hard to carry on. Then I spiralled down into crazy thoughts of how to end it all. I returned to the screen to write some goodbye notes. My younger sister always comes first so I wrote the following:

'I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world and I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you. This may sound odd but when you told me what had happened to you, I was so relieved that I wasn’t imagining things. Imagining what had happened to me but also what was going on with you. I am so sorry I couldn’t tell anyone. They wouldn’t have believed me and I was afraid of it getting worse.'

That was as far as I got and it just hit me why the hell I was so upset and angry over my husband not believing me about something quite small. It also hit me that I am not over this and I never will be...hence I have joined this forum. I've never done anything like this before. I am 27yrs old and had cognitive behavioural therapy for a couple years which ended in 2007. I was abused by my dad throughout my childhood up until I was an adult and left home at 19. I have also had other things happen to me outside of home. (I swear I have a neon sign above my head that attracts these people).

So on that note, here I am and that's why I am here writing this. Maybe it was the inner child in me that was so angry with my husband over something that was not big enough to justify how I reacted. Who knows. But I now understand why I can't bare anyone calling me a liar - when I am not lying!!

I'm glad you shared this. welcome to the forum. I hope you find all the support you need here. and welcome to your inner child too. throb.gif

#422 briarrosa

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:53 PM

QUOTE (EmiLove @ Dec 30 2010, 01:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (cinamon @ Dec 30 2010, 04:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can mine come ride the unicorns to and. Ill show yours the rainbows and the Lucky fun bucket of golden twinkies at the end and we could laugh and play on the clouds and rainbows. Your unicorns sound so fun they make me smile. Hugs to all love cindy


Cindy, yours is definitely invited! I'm sure there's a unicorn for everyone who wants to ride one in here. I love your plan to see the rainbows! She's very excited to see them and to spend time with new friends. hug.gif

that sounds fun! i'll show her the jellybean waterfall!!

#423 briarrosa

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:55 PM

QUOTE (lost~then~found @ Dec 30 2010, 07:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Destiny79 @ Dec 30 2010, 10:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WOW! i m so glad i found this "thread". my little's are not rally ready for the "party" room. I will definately be back here! flowers.gif

thumbsup.gif

for sure! glad you're here! thumbsup.gif

Edited by briarrosa, 30 December 2010 - 12:55 PM.


#424 briarrosa

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:56 PM

QUOTE (lost~then~found @ Dec 30 2010, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My little likes to color, is that ok?

fun!! thumbsup.gif

#425 Destiny79

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Posted 04 January 2011 - 12:19 PM

Oh my Gosh! my littles are soooo excited. I have a bat (real flying kind) living in my basement walls. It's tough when they get so excited though, puts me in kinda a manic state. which oddly interferes with my home electronics. I think I'll take them bat hunting tonight thumbsup.gif that will make them happy.

#426 Destiny79

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Posted 04 January 2011 - 12:20 PM

QUOTE (briarrosa @ Dec 30 2010, 11:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (lost~then~found @ Dec 30 2010, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My little likes to color, is that ok?

fun!! thumbsup.gif


finger paint? I'll color with you. whats your favorite color?

#427 cinamon

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Posted 04 January 2011 - 01:35 PM

Can I bring some glitter and glue and join in that would be so fun

#428 Destiny79

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Posted 12 January 2011 - 08:23 PM

Wooo whooo!!!! our new T believes in us!!!!!! Yay!!! I hope she keeps going. This T said she'd even color with me. and she has toys in her office and a really fuzzy puppy that looks like a rug. Party inside our head, everyone can come out now and we can even get our house fixed back up and live with the others!!!! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

#429 briarrosa

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Posted 13 January 2011 - 12:51 AM

QUOTE (cinamon @ Jan 4 2011, 10:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can I bring some glitter and glue and join in that would be so fun

of course! throb.gif

#430 briarrosa

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Posted 13 January 2011 - 12:52 AM

QUOTE (Destiny79 @ Jan 12 2011, 05:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wooo whooo!!!! our new T believes in us!!!!!! Yay!!! I hope she keeps going. This T said she'd even color with me. and she has toys in her office and a really fuzzy puppy that looks like a rug. Party inside our head, everyone can come out now and we can even get our house fixed back up and live with the others!!!! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

Great news!! I am so happy for you!!! hug.gif throb.gif hug.gif

#431 Destiny79

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Posted 13 January 2011 - 09:40 AM

paintingday! I like blue with sparkles

#432 glamourdollxoxo

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Posted 15 January 2011 - 06:42 PM

My little is feeling dirty and ashamed because of how he would touch her there and made her promise not to tell. It's okay to let your feelings out and cry, but dont ever feel ashamed or disgusting because that his shame to bear not yours.

#433 ~FOUND~

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Posted 16 January 2011 - 07:14 AM

Mine is dead.

#434 jess231

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Posted 16 January 2011 - 01:58 PM

My inner child is hurting and crying and raging. Wishing desperatelly things had been different and could still yet be different. The adult in me is trying very very hard to comfort her and hold her when no one held her before and seen the pain.

#435 cinamon

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Posted 16 January 2011 - 02:29 PM

Hugs to all the littles and rainbows to play on and soft clouds to land on or to play on hugs hugs love to all the littles they are all so brave and wonderfull and all deserve to be loved and comforted.