My inner children are smug because I didn't listen to them this morning. I'm wearing clothes that aren't the best at keeping me warm. They told me wear swishy (track/windbreaker) pants, and I didn't listen. So I apologize to them, and when I log off, I'm going to treat them to hot chocolate and cookies. I not only promished them they could wear the pants, I also ignored their warnings about cold weather.
So: thank you inner children for standing up to me. I know you were afraid to tell me I and mom were wrong, but you worked past you fear and told me how you felt/what you wanted. I'm sorry for not listening to you and will try not to ignore you like that again.
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Guest Message by DevFuse
The Inner Child Thread
Started by
tealight rookie
, Oct 17 2005 06:19 AM
458 replies to this topic
#407
annieonymous
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- Member
- 97 posts
Posted 16 November 2010 - 03:49 AM
dear 3 year old me;
when i do think of you, it's usually with hatred and disgust. i have mentally murdered you and inflicted brutal violence on you so many times. i have wished you were not a part of me. i have wished you were not a part of humanity. i have been your worst abuser.
when i hurt you, i hurt myself.
thanks to aftersilence, and to deep contemplation, i really think i'm getting over my hatred for you! i'm so close. you don't deserve hatred, and i'm sorry.
i don't know if i can get over being disgusted with you, though. don't even know if i want to. don't feel like you/we deserve it. i'm sorry. is it good enough to not hate you? probably not.
Love,
big me.
when i do think of you, it's usually with hatred and disgust. i have mentally murdered you and inflicted brutal violence on you so many times. i have wished you were not a part of me. i have wished you were not a part of humanity. i have been your worst abuser.
when i hurt you, i hurt myself.thanks to aftersilence, and to deep contemplation, i really think i'm getting over my hatred for you! i'm so close. you don't deserve hatred, and i'm sorry.
i don't know if i can get over being disgusted with you, though. don't even know if i want to. don't feel like you/we deserve it. i'm sorry. is it good enough to not hate you? probably not.
Love,
big me.
Edited by annieonymous, 16 November 2010 - 03:50 AM.
#408
moonstream
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- Member
- 271 posts
moonstream
Posted 29 December 2010 - 02:14 PM
My lil me always wants hugs......and a lil patch of sun......or curled up on the bed mext to mom and dad reading a "good book".....but that is for another day.....like when I hit the road in the semi.....beginning this coming weekend when I hit the open road of the semi with hubby.....leaving "my Panther" all alone" in the lil house that we have......just take "gentle care" of "my big kitty."
#409
EmiLove
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- Member
- 169 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:26 AM
When I was a child, I was a complete tomboy. I'm assuming this was because I figured it was easier to hide as a boy than to be a girl with my abuser around (but this can't be proven seeing as I don't have strong memories of my childhood as a whole). My inner child, on the other hand, is a beautiful little girl who is learning not to be afraid of being a beautiful little girl.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn
).
Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear.
I love you Little Emi.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn
). Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear.
I love you Little Emi.
#410
briarrosa
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- Member
- 2,479 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 01:16 AM
QUOTE (EmiLove @ Dec 29 2010, 09:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I was a child, I was a complete tomboy. I'm assuming this was because I figured it was easier to hide as a boy than to be a girl with my abuser around (but this can't be proven seeing as I don't have strong memories of my childhood as a whole). My inner child, on the other hand, is a beautiful little girl who is learning not to be afraid of being a beautiful little girl.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn ).
Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear.
I love you Little Emi.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn
). Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear.
I love you Little Emi.
this made me smile!
may you get all the flying unicorns you deserve.
#411
briarrosa
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- Member
- 2,479 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 01:17 AM
my inner child is so tired today. kinda sad and lonely too.
#412
EmiLove
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- Member
- 169 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 01:54 AM
QUOTE (briarrosa @ Dec 30 2010, 01:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (EmiLove @ Dec 29 2010, 09:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When I was a child, I was a complete tomboy. I'm assuming this was because I figured it was easier to hide as a boy than to be a girl with my abuser around (but this can't be proven seeing as I don't have strong memories of my childhood as a whole). My inner child, on the other hand, is a beautiful little girl who is learning not to be afraid of being a beautiful little girl.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn ).
Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear.
I love you Little Emi.
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn
). Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear.
I love you Little Emi.
this made me smile!
may you get all the flying unicorns you deserve.
Hee hee thank you rosa!
My little one would like to give yours some hugs and an invitation if she ever gets those unicorns to ride them.
Hope she feels better soon!
#413
briarrosa
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- Member
- 2,479 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 03:39 AM
QUOTE (EmiLove @ Dec 29 2010, 10:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (briarrosa @ Dec 30 2010, 01:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
this made me smile!
may you get all the flying unicorns you deserve.
Hee hee thank you rosa!
My little one would like to give yours some hugs and an invitation if she ever gets those unicorns to ride them.
Hope she feels better soon!
thank you! i can't wait to go for a ride!!! i love flying unicorns too!!!
#414
cinamon
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- Member
- 2,114 posts
Cinamon
Posted 30 December 2010 - 04:02 AM
Can mine come ride the unicorns to and. Ill show yours the rainbows and the Lucky fun bucket of golden twinkies at the end and we could laugh and play on the clouds and rainbows. Your unicorns sound so fun they make me smile. Hugs to all love cindy
#415
EmiLove
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- Member
- 169 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 04:52 AM
QUOTE (cinamon @ Dec 30 2010, 04:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can mine come ride the unicorns to and. Ill show yours the rainbows and the Lucky fun bucket of golden twinkies at the end and we could laugh and play on the clouds and rainbows. Your unicorns sound so fun they make me smile. Hugs to all love cindy
Cindy, yours is definitely invited! I'm sure there's a unicorn for everyone who wants to ride one in here. I love your plan to see the rainbows! She's very excited to see them and to spend time with new friends.
#416
~FOUND~
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- Member
- 45,292 posts
Anna is found by God!!!
Posted 30 December 2010 - 06:34 AM
My little likes to color, is that ok?
#417
Destiny79
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- Member
- 190 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 10:01 AM
WOW! i m so glad i found this "thread". my little's are not rally ready for the "party" room. I will definately be back here! 
#418
~FOUND~
-
- Member
- 45,292 posts
Anna is found by God!!!
Posted 30 December 2010 - 10:37 AM
It's ok to be scared.
#419
~FOUND~
-
- Member
- 45,292 posts
Anna is found by God!!!
Posted 30 December 2010 - 10:37 AM
QUOTE (Destiny79 @ Dec 30 2010, 10:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
WOW! i m so glad i found this "thread". my little's are not rally ready for the "party" room. I will definately be back here!
#420
bazbun
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- New Member
- 1 posts
Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:00 PM
I'm not sure about the inner child thing, it's not something my CBT doctor ever talked about but maybe the UK system isn't as open minded about that yet.
Anyway, today I had an argument with my husband because he accused me of lying (about something quite small) and was adamant that I was lying with no room for anything else. Not only that but he said that he was annoyed that he couldn't ask me something (where I may or may not lie...) without me flipping out if I was accused of lying... he said he should be able to ask me without me reacting like I do. Anyhow, that said, I tried to remain calm (despite seething inside about it knowing there was no way of vindicating myself) and I came upstairs to distract myself. I ended up sobbing so much I nearly made myself sick. He seemed surprised and asked me why I was so upset. I couldn't answer properly and just said that I felt like exploding but couldn't. He went out into town for something and I began the diary writing process which didn't go so well, managed a few lines but was sobbing too hard to carry on. Then I spiralled down into crazy thoughts of how to end it all. I returned to the screen to write some goodbye notes. My younger sister always comes first so I wrote the following:
'I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world and I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you. This may sound odd but when you told me what had happened to you, I was so relieved that I wasn’t imagining things. Imagining what had happened to me but also what was going on with you. I am so sorry I couldn’t tell anyone. They wouldn’t have believed me and I was afraid of it getting worse.'
That was as far as I got and it just hit me why the hell I was so upset and angry over my husband not believing me about something quite small. It also hit me that I am not over this and I never will be...hence I have joined this forum. I've never done anything like this before. I am 27yrs old and had cognitive behavioural therapy for a couple years which ended in 2007. I was abused by my dad throughout my childhood up until I was an adult and left home at 19. I have also had other things happen to me outside of home. (I swear I have a neon sign above my head that attracts these people).
So on that note, here I am and that's why I am here writing this. Maybe it was the inner child in me that was so angry with my husband over something that was not big enough to justify how I reacted. Who knows. But I now understand why I can't bare anyone calling me a liar - when I am not lying!!
Anyway, today I had an argument with my husband because he accused me of lying (about something quite small) and was adamant that I was lying with no room for anything else. Not only that but he said that he was annoyed that he couldn't ask me something (where I may or may not lie...) without me flipping out if I was accused of lying... he said he should be able to ask me without me reacting like I do. Anyhow, that said, I tried to remain calm (despite seething inside about it knowing there was no way of vindicating myself) and I came upstairs to distract myself. I ended up sobbing so much I nearly made myself sick. He seemed surprised and asked me why I was so upset. I couldn't answer properly and just said that I felt like exploding but couldn't. He went out into town for something and I began the diary writing process which didn't go so well, managed a few lines but was sobbing too hard to carry on. Then I spiralled down into crazy thoughts of how to end it all. I returned to the screen to write some goodbye notes. My younger sister always comes first so I wrote the following:
'I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world and I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you. This may sound odd but when you told me what had happened to you, I was so relieved that I wasn’t imagining things. Imagining what had happened to me but also what was going on with you. I am so sorry I couldn’t tell anyone. They wouldn’t have believed me and I was afraid of it getting worse.'
That was as far as I got and it just hit me why the hell I was so upset and angry over my husband not believing me about something quite small. It also hit me that I am not over this and I never will be...hence I have joined this forum. I've never done anything like this before. I am 27yrs old and had cognitive behavioural therapy for a couple years which ended in 2007. I was abused by my dad throughout my childhood up until I was an adult and left home at 19. I have also had other things happen to me outside of home. (I swear I have a neon sign above my head that attracts these people).
So on that note, here I am and that's why I am here writing this. Maybe it was the inner child in me that was so angry with my husband over something that was not big enough to justify how I reacted. Who knows. But I now understand why I can't bare anyone calling me a liar - when I am not lying!!
