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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

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4 replies to this topic

#1 lolarh

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  • 1 posts

Posted 25 February 2015 - 12:22 PM

Hey so I'm new here trying to find support. I've been raped three times (the third one being two weeks ago) and attacked once. I started seeing a counselor to work through anxiety and panic issues that I generally have, but that get bad because of situations like this. My counselor told me consider reporting the guy, but I am scared and confused. With all three incidences, I didn't fight, I froze each time. I feel like I could've stopped it, that I shouldn't have been so paralyzed. Now I don't know whether I should go through with the report because I feel bad. I'm not angry and I have forgiven him, but I am bothered with the fact that with this last one (because the other two didn't involve vaginal penetration) he took my virginity and I was saving myself for marriage. Then he acted like it wasn't a big deal. He didn't even say anything after the fact, just got up and went about his business.


I haven't been feeling well. I get nauseous sometimes just thinking about it and I get nauseous even when I eat or smell food. And I'm uncomfortable because he keeps texting me, calling me "beautiful" and stuff like that. I really want all of this behind me.

#2 reglois



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  • 8,818 posts

Posted 25 February 2015 - 12:56 PM

:aswelcomesu: :youcanheal: :notalone: :bighug: if OK


Freezing is a subconcious action, you probably could no more stop it than you could stop a freight train, not your fault, put the blame where is really should lie, on them.

Edited by reglois, 25 February 2015 - 12:58 PM.

#3 louiseroi

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Posted 25 February 2015 - 03:21 PM

I am so sorry this happened to you. I don't want to frighten you but are you sure you are not pregnant? It sounds like it might help to contact a rape crisis service, they have helplines or you could see someone. These organisations can help you decide if you want to prosecute and how then to proceed.

#4 MeBeMary

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Posted 25 February 2015 - 06:13 PM



Hello and welcome.  I am so sorry for the trauma you have gone thru, you did not deserve it.  Freezing up is not an excuse for anyone to hurt you.  I froze, many of us have.  It's always easy to think after the fact at what you could have changed, but in the moment, it just doesn't always happen that way.


I would consider what louiseroi has said.  I'm not sure if you could feel morning sickness this early, but it may be something you want to check out. 


You have friends and you have support now, that you can be sure.



#5 angelic


    Gra, Gaire agus Sonas

  • Newbie Support Team
  • 8,384 posts

Posted 25 February 2015 - 06:35 PM

hello lolarh,

welcome to After Silence, my name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here. I am truly sorry for all you've been through and I hope being here will be a positive step in your healing journey. I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any assistance please let me know


take care, Paula