Hey so I'm new here trying to find support. I've been raped three times (the third one being two weeks ago) and attacked once. I started seeing a counselor to work through anxiety and panic issues that I generally have, but that get bad because of situations like this. My counselor told me consider reporting the guy, but I am scared and confused. With all three incidences, I didn't fight, I froze each time. I feel like I could've stopped it, that I shouldn't have been so paralyzed. Now I don't know whether I should go through with the report because I feel bad. I'm not angry and I have forgiven him, but I am bothered with the fact that with this last one (because the other two didn't involve vaginal penetration) he took my virginity and I was saving myself for marriage. Then he acted like it wasn't a big deal. He didn't even say anything after the fact, just got up and went about his business.
I haven't been feeling well. I get nauseous sometimes just thinking about it and I get nauseous even when I eat or smell food. And I'm uncomfortable because he keeps texting me, calling me "beautiful" and stuff like that. I really want all of this behind me.