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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com
Guest Message by DevFuse


New Person, Looking To Talk To People With Similar Experiences

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9 replies to this topic

#1 AFireAtSeaparks

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 12:34 AM

Hi all.  I'm really glad that I found this website; thank you for your contributions that allow a resource like this to exist.


From 2005 to 2009, I was in a romantic relationship that could probably be described as emotionally abusive.  Among other things, this included having sex that I did not willingly consent to.  I resisted thinking of myself as a sexual assault survivor for a long time, partly because it's the kind of story that people would doubt (in the context of a romantic relationship) and partly due to shame (I have a reputation in my social circle of being a die-hard feminist, I moved hundreds of miles away from home to live with him, he ultimately left me).  I never told a lot of my close friends from the period in my life where he and I were together, even people I would consider my best friends.


I've come a long way in the past 5 years.  I developed my identity outside of what other people wanted from me, got my Masters degree, moved to a fantastic city, and fell in love with a guy who respects me and cares for me.  Unfortunately, being in a committed relationship for the first time since all that past nastiness has been one of the most difficult parts of the healing process for me.  I have a great therapist who is guiding me through a dialectical behavior therapy workbook, and my partner is committed to helping me in any way he can, but I feel the need for support from people who have survived similar ordeals.  


I really look forward to getting to know you folks and being part of a mutually supportive and safe conversation.

#2 reglois



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Posted 18 February 2014 - 04:46 AM

:aswelcomesu: :youcanheal: :notalone:    :bighug: if OK

#3 a9z

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 08:41 AM

Hello AFireAtSeaparks and welcome to After Silence. 

I'm sorry that you you have to have need of this site, but because you do, I am happy you found it. AS is a safe place to share with and receive support from fellow survivors.  

I'm so glad to hear you haven't let what was done to you make you any less then the special and talented person you are.

It's also nice to know you have a partner who cares about you and is showing you what a real romantic relationship looks and feels like. 

 I hope the therapy helps you in this stage of your healing journey. (((Hugs))) If OK. 

 Your voice deserves to be heard and here on AS it will be.


I'm looking forward to getting to know you too. Take care

#4 lucyinthesky

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 08:52 AM

I'm very sorry that you experienced that abusive relationship. I also consider myself a super feminist, so I can certainly understand what you're saying. But, ultimately, it's the patriarchal, misogynistic culture we live in that shames even women who "know better" into isolating themselves for the sake of staying with an abusive partner. That says nothing about who you are or how feminist you are.

So glad you got away and have both a supportive partner and a good therapist. Wishing you the best in your healing journey. So glad you found AS! You are definitely not alone!

:aswelcomesu: :candle: :flowers:

#5 AFireAtSeaparks

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 11:44 AM

Thanks for the warm welcomes and validating messages :peace:

#6 angelic


    Gra, Gaire agus Sonas

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Posted 18 February 2014 - 04:37 PM

Hi AFireAtSeaparks


welcome to After Silence, we are glad to have you here with us. My name is Paula, one of the newbie support team here, if you need any help with the board, please let me know and I will do my best to help.. I hope you find AS to be a safe, healing place to be,

take care, Paula

#7 TryingToYell

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Posted 28 February 2014 - 11:18 PM

Hi! I love DBT, it's been incredibly helpful to me too. I've often thought it would be helpful to have "distress tolerance" tattooed on my wrist :)

#8 ~FOUND~


    Anna is found by God!!! Anna loves Jesus!

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Posted 07 March 2014 - 07:39 AM

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.


#9 drowningnotwaving

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Posted 07 March 2014 - 03:20 PM

Welcome  :hi:

#10 ~FOUND~


    Anna is found by God!!! Anna loves Jesus!

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Posted 08 March 2014 - 06:21 AM

I hope you are doing well.