I'm going through this too, and I don't have any particularly good advice, but just want to say that I hear you.
I struggle with a lot of self blame as well, even though I know intellectually that what happened wasn't my fault. One thing that I've found is that when I hear someone else's story, I immediately know that it wasn't their fault. For instance, in your case, I would tell you that, whether or not you "put yourself in a vulnerable situation," it was your coworker who took advantage of that vulnerability. If you'd been in the same situation with a halfway decent human being, you wouldn't have been raped.
When I think about my own experience, the same general sort of logic applies, but I still hold on to so much culpability. I find it a lot easier to have compassion for anyone that's not myself - funny how that works, but seems to be the case for a lot of people. So maybe think about what you would say if someone else told you your own story. I have my response written down on a piece of paper, and I carry it around with me in my purse, and whenever I'm feeling really down on myself, I read it. I'm not at the point yet where it feels emotionally true, but it does help a bit.
As for the general emotional well up from therapy, it's so incredibly hard to deal with. Every week, I have to talk myself into going, because I know how miserable I'm going to feel afterwards. Something I've started doing is, before I go, figuring out what I'm going to do afterwards, so that I have something to look forward to. Sometimes it's a TV show that I've downloaded, sometimes I go to yoga, sometimes I call a friend (who doesn't know anything about this and can serve as a good distraction). It doesn't always work, but it can help me refocus so that I'm doing something that's not 100% related to being a rape survivor. Helps me feel as though my life can be about something else as well.
Edited by kassie, 13 January 2014 - 02:38 PM.