hi, i'm new here, today i posted a reply as my first post. i'd like to know if anyone knows where there is a forum for feeling alone in what i experienced and how they coped with it. i am a secondary survivor and witness to physical, verbal and emotional abuse. every thanksgiving it comes up. the only person in my family that has witnessed it won't talk to me about it, and i've tried reaching out to my cousin who actually was the one who was abused. i'm not sure he'd be willing to talk about it.
unfortunately, the abuser is a close relative of mine and she and her husband were integral in my upbringing so i have mixed feelings. on one hand i love her. they kept my single mother and brother afloat when we were on food stamps, etc. and she and i have much in common. but i can't believe i witnessed what i did over and over again and i cannot understand WHY a parent would so angrily abuse their child (abuse never happened to me at her hands) but it's now a "family secret" and i have no one who i can talk to about this who witnessed it like i did.
i definitely feel alone. the one person who did witness it, won't discuss it with me.