I've looked at the welcome section and walked away from the computer a few times, but this is something I need to do for me. I've always been more interested in trying to help other people than help myself. I'm extremely sensitive and empathetic- but I've had a childhood full of verbal, emotional and physical abuse. I was raped as a teenager.
I realize I need help and that believing what my parents told me is wrong. They were wrong about me and I need to accept that deep down I was just a little girl who was eager to please. I needed love, help and nurturing.
I sometimes feel toxic and that things are my fault. My rational mind knows that this isn't true, but there is this disgusting pit I feel in my stomach that I think I'll somehow suck the world into? I don't know how crazy this sounds, but all I do is blame myself.... all the time.