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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

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New But Terrified


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15 replies to this topic

#1 lexi825

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 10:03 PM

Hi -

 

I'm finally writing after spending a long time reading.  Everyone seems so brave and so friendly.  It's refreshing to see people supporting each other and being kind to each other.  Though also very intimidating - I wish I were so brave and so kind.

 

I'm pretty terrified to be writing this.  I have been searching for a support group in my area but been turned away from the Crisis Center twice - once because of my work schedule and once because "they felt it wasn't time".  I checked all the hospitals and other womens' centers too - but no luck.  I'm hoping maybe it's ok for me to be here; I'm not sure when the right time will be for me to deserve support or how to make that happen.  I am afraid to be turned away so I hope at least I won't be a bother to anyone here.

 

It seems pretty awful to feel relieved that someone else is feeling some of the stuff I am - but I feel that way anyway. Thanks to those of you who have posted things I can relate to and making me feel a little less alone.  And to all of you - I'm so sorry you have reason to be here and I hope you find healing and peace.

 

Lexi

 

 



#2 cinamon

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 10:28 PM

Your welcome here your not alone im shure youll find the support and kindness here you can pm me anytime hugs if of cin

#3 leah27

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 11:14 PM

Welcome to AS Lexi, as Cinamon said, you'll find support here, don't be afraid you won't be accepted!

AS has honestly been one of the best supports I could have had on my journey.

I remember what it was like the first time I posted on here, and I know you must be brave to take that step when you are so scared.

You already deserve support!!! I know you are going to find it here, because as you say, the people are brave and friendly.

Please reach out when you need support.

I know it is a relief to feel like others know what you are going through, we are lucky to have each other on here, even though it's some pretty rubbish stuff that brings us together.

take care ok

 

~Leah~



#4 reglois

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 08:42 AM

:ditto:   :comfort:  if OK



#5 lexi825

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 01:26 PM

Thank you all so much for responding and for welcoming me here!!!  So sweet of you - I really appreciate it!!!



#6 angelic

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 04:03 PM

Hello Lexi,

welcome to After Silence, I'm Paula, one of the newbie support team here. If you are having any problems getting around the board, please contact me .  I'm glad you can see that you are not alone here.

take care,

Paula :hi: 



#7 RoniRN

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 05:12 AM

Hi Lexi,
I'm sorry you weren't able to find any "face-to-face" support in your area. It hurts when you are reaching out for help and getting nothing in return. I hope you find what you need here at AS. I have found everyone here to be more warm and caring than many of the people I have encountered "in real life" as well.

<3

#8 iontrapcid

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Posted 29 September 2013 - 10:00 PM

Hi Lexi,

It's nice to meet you, I'm new too. It's so hard to make that first post, I really do commend your bravery. I hope it gets easier... I end up reading a lot too. Thank you for being here.

#9 strawberrycookie

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Posted 30 September 2013 - 05:13 AM

Hi Lexi, it's nice to meet you :)

 

It was a big step to post here - I think that automatically makes you brave. It took me weeks to pluck up the courage to even join, let alone post anything. I've never regretted it though!

 

Sometimes I struggle to post anything and reply, and end up spending days or weeks at a time only reading, and even that makes me feel a little better.

 

I'm so sorry you haven't been able to find support in your area - actually this is one of the things that really bothers me. Support can be incredibly difficult to access. That's what makes AS so special, and I'm so glad you found us. 

 

I can completely understand feeling relieved that we are feeling these things too - it doesn't sound awful at all. It's just such a nice feeling to suddenly realise that you aren't alone, and that there are others out there. Nice is too weak a word for it really. 

 

Looking forward to seeing you around the boards.

 

Take good care,

 

Sara x 



#10 nix21

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 07:18 AM

hello lexi everyone on here is understanding and caring hope you find support on here. Also i think its terrible that you were turned away by support groups. pm me if you want to talk anytime.

#11 lexi825

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 07:58 PM

Thank you all so much for responding and your support.  It is so nice to hear that other have found support and guidance here; I hope I can find the strength to post here more - maybe one day to actually talk about what happened to me.  MAYBE even one day to move forward... and be happy?



#12 strawberrycookie

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 03:24 AM

Lexi, I think you will be able to.

In the few years I've been here I've healed so much. I can look forward to things in life and I am for the most part happy.

I still have bad days, and it still affects me every day. But it isn't my whole life any more.

You will get there one day - I believe in you! It takes time, but you'll make it!

#13 strawberrycookie

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 03:24 AM

Oops, double post!

Edited by strawberrycookie, 03 October 2013 - 03:25 AM.


#14 vakry

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 02:43 PM

Hi -

 

I'm finally writing after spending a long time reading.  Everyone seems so brave and so friendly.  It's refreshing to see people supporting each other and being kind to each other.  Though also very intimidating - I wish I were so brave and so kind.

 

I'm pretty terrified to be writing this.  I have been searching for a support group in my area but been turned away from the Crisis Center twice - once because of my work schedule and once because "they felt it wasn't time".  I checked all the hospitals and other womens' centers too - but no luck.  I'm hoping maybe it's ok for me to be here; I'm not sure when the right time will be for me to deserve support or how to make that happen.  I am afraid to be turned away so I hope at least I won't be a bother to anyone here.

 

It seems pretty awful to feel relieved that someone else is feeling some of the stuff I am - but I feel that way anyway. Thanks to those of you who have posted things I can relate to and making me feel a little less alone.  And to all of you - I'm so sorry you have reason to be here and I hope you find healing and peace.

 

Lexi

 

Lexi, I'm sorry you had a rough time of it. It does bother me they said that. You do deserve support! And you will get it here. I'm sorry you have need to be here, too. But that is not your shame or your fault. I'm glad you found some things around here already that help you.



#15 LeeK

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 11:47 PM

Welcome Lexi,

 

I am so sorry you could not find the local help you needed yet. I am glad you found this place -- it is already helping me process much that has been hidden and recently being remembered....

Just take it slow and easy -- it can be exhausting to get it out and you may need to take breaks along the way.....

A hug and a prayer for your recovery process!