I stay busy with school as I want to be a teacher. I spend my leisure time painting pictures, playing music, and gardening (also tv). I have chores at home. But with all this comes stress and sadness, but I am afraid that if I break down crying anywhere that others will know and think I'm weak or disturbed. Men are supposed to be strong. Why do tears take courage? I think that because I was molested simple things like that are complicated. Or it is hard to cry because my family lives very far away.
Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.
|Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.
After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.
If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
I've Had No Healing Tears Lately.
Posted 18 September 2013 - 11:41 PM
Know that you are not weak. You are human and you have been hurt. What happened to you is not simple. I hate to say it's something that can never be gotten over. I hate it with a passion when someone says "Why can't you get over it." or "Just get over it." To be honest, no one in their right mind can. The most we can do is learn to cope with it and find a distraction. There will be times those emotions will take over. This does not make you weak. I would not consider you disturbed either. You have the right to cry. You have the right to be sad, upset, and angry.
Sometimes I do find it hard to cry. I can't explain it. Sometimes I feel emotionally numb because it's how my body blocks out anymore hurt or pain. Yes others may think badly.... I just found that out because those people are insane and like to attack those who are injured then make people like us seem unfit or crazy. This is my extended family I speak of. They are trying to find ways to take my child because of their own greed. These are those people who harm us. Those who actually care will understand or try to understand. I hope I don't make you feel bad by saying so.
If you do end up crying in front of others you don't have to tell them anything. You could just say you have a lot on your mind. I've done this a few times and for some people I have spilled my guts out to, but those are the people who I trust with certain information. Others I just tell them I have a lot on my mind and that I'll be ok as time goes on.
I wish the best for you and that you will continue to heal. Also know that just because you are a man, it does not mean you can't cry. Men have emotions too.
Posted 19 September 2013 - 02:30 AM
*Real men* do cry if OK
Edited by reglois, 19 September 2013 - 02:31 AM.
Posted 21 September 2013 - 04:11 PM
There is no "weakness" in crying, in fact, I believe it helps to release a lot of pressure from your mind. Just because you are a man doesn't mean you are not allowed to cry, sometimes the world looks clearer afterwards.
Try not to put yourself under so much pressure.
take care .
Posted 25 September 2013 - 05:20 AM