Hi Dandeliongirl. Justwokeups advice is spot on. Your first few days on here are hard because your lost, you want to tell your story but dont know how or are afraid to and you just dont know where to turn. So just start reading others stories and you'll start feeling at home. You'll soon realise that there are MANY stories out there and they all differ in nature, severity (which is not to say less severe means less painful to the individual), type and every other way. But the important part, and the bit that makes this forum works, is that despite the different circumstances, many of the thoughts, feelings, problems and issues written here are the same. Add to that that each and every person on here is struggling to come to terms with what happened to them or struggling to maintain a "normal" life, that is why we are all here. Here to listen to others and help and support them along the way. Here to read others stories and feel less alone, less frightened and hopefully over time less likely to blame ourselves for what happened to us. And here if we wish to share our own story and be supported by others (I havent plucked up the courage yet so dont feel in a rush...its at your discretion and your pace). I only recently spoke out about an event from my past which happened a long long time ago and when I did, my life fell apart just like you describe. I couldnt cope with all the thoughts and feelings that had been locked away for so long and was in a mess. But over time and with a lot of help I started picking up the pieces. Im still not that far along the track, thats why Im on here looking for answers and support, but things are a whole lot better than they were and they can be for you too. Youve just taken the first step!!! Take care and stay strong.