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Welcome to After Silence - A message board and chat room for rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivors.

Welcome to After Silence, a message board and chat room designed to help survivors communicate in the recovery of rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and all types of sexual violence.

After Silence has over 30 different forums, ranging from topics created to discuss specific areas of healing and recovery from rape and sexual violence, as well as forums open to general discussions and lighter topics. Because we value the privacy of our members, most of our forums are private, which means that ONLY REGISTERED members have access to them. Please register for a free account to gain full access to the After Silence Online Support Group.

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Guest Message by DevFuse


New Here, Wondering If I'm Crazy

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9 replies to this topic

#1 mentallyconfused

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Posted 10 September 2013 - 05:52 PM

I'm new to all this but I need to know I'm not alone. I have been abuse multiple times in my life in multiple ways but this last time was the worst. I was raped by knife point a week and a half ago. I'm not handling it well. I dont sleep or eat. Im always moving always in panicked. I know this is normal. But this time I feel like my mind is blank. I just started working with the crisis center I was told its how my mind is coping with the rape. It makes sense but Im feeling blank all the time. I have small kids. Im trying to keep things normal for them but never really sure what Im doing. I feel so crazy not know what is what.

#2 Justwokeup


    maybe you can love me when theres no one left to blame

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Posted 10 September 2013 - 06:00 PM

Welcome to AS!  :) Glad you found us. You never have to be alone anymore.

#3 leah27


    Dancing in the rain...

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Posted 10 September 2013 - 07:54 PM

You aren't crazy... you are dealing with enormous trauma.... and it feels crazy, i know cos I have been there.
AS has been a big source of support for me during the tough times - I hope you find it as useful as i have.
You will come through this feeling of crazyness, you just have to keep on doing your best and attempting to process the stuff you have experienced.



Edited by leah27, 11 September 2013 - 06:23 AM.

#4 Annie7



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Posted 10 September 2013 - 11:24 PM

:friends2: :friends2: :hi: :comfort: :butterfly: :no2: :bighug:

#5 angelic


    Gra, Gaire agus Sonas

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Posted 11 September 2013 - 04:13 PM

Hello mentallyconfused,

welcome to AS, you are not alone here, I am truly sorry for what you've been through.  I'm Paula, one of the newbie support team here. If you need any help getting around the board, please contact me

take care, Paula :hi: 

#6 mentallyconfused

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Posted 12 September 2013 - 12:35 PM

I just wanted to thank you and I feel better knowing Im not alone in what Im feeling

#7 BrightEyes19

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Posted 12 September 2013 - 11:35 PM

I understand how u feel. Had a very similar experience, and also have a small child. Your not alone. If u need someone to talk to feel free to message me!
Hope AS is everything u need it to be.

#8 thelilactree

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Posted 13 September 2013 - 02:51 PM

Hello MentallyConfused,

I just wanted to say that you aren't alone. I wasn't raped by knifepoint, but was attacked by my husband. He raped me and then after sodomized me. I was in complete shock for a month. I'd sit on the couch and blank out and then start crying. I even wanted to kill myself with sleeping pills. I was suppose to start a volunteer assignment at a local school and I had to drop out. I couldn't really function. I was depressed and did nothing for three months. I'd just sleep as much as possible and when I was awake I didn't do much, but sit and think and think and think of how this all could've happened and how did I let myself get in such a situation. I separated, but still was not functioning normally. 3 months later I finally got myself together and started to do normal things again and take control. Exercise helped to get me in a routine and help beat away some anxiety, I talked to my three best friends about what happened. They helped the most of all in getting me back on my feet. The attack had happened while I had been off of work for a year taking a break. I started to apply for jobs and got a nice job offer which I accepted. This required moving to a new city and it has helped being in a different environment. I took an online course and did some travel through Europe this summer with friends. I feel I'm getting better and moving on with my life. Even though I think about what happened every day, I don't let it control me. You can get through this stage you are going through. It's not easy and how long it will take I can't say. I can just share my experience with you. You certainly aren't alone. I'm very sorry to hear about what happened to you. You are courageous for dealing with it and hanging in there for your children. I wish you all the best.

#9 doogie

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 04:35 PM

When I was attacked, there was a knife involved as well. The scars are a constant reminder. Be strong for your little ones. You are not alone now

#10 ~FOUND~


    Anna is found by God!!! Anna loves Jesus!

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Posted 08 March 2014 - 09:06 PM

Hi there.
Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.