I Am New

[Imnotbroken]

Hello everyone, I am new to the board, and I am a survivor, though I don't feel like much of one. I have been married 13 years, he knows about the abuse, but not everything, have 3 absolutely wonderful kids.

I was 10/11 when I started being abused by my stepdad. I am now 32. I have found that I have never come to terms with it. My teenage years I spent hiding from it, and in fear. My 20's I spent lying to everyone, and making them believe, I had overcome it. And now Here I am on this board, Full of anger and thinking it is just awful to see so many people in my position, but comforting to finally find a place where people understand. I joined a few days ago, and went straight for the Need to Vent board. My anger was getting the better of me. Because if I release it, no one understands, so I just keep it inside, and that just makes it worse. On that board for the first time in my life I heard someone say, "I understand". I hope I can find a home here, and get the support I so long for. I hope that I can support someone in my shoes, and make a difference in their life as well.

Im not quite to the point of sharing my story, but I hope I get there. I just have a very bad habit of sweeping it back under the rug, and I have gotten no where with that. I want to confront it, and heal.

Thanks for reading.

Lauri

[violets8]

welcome to the boards. I am glad you found us. Take your time and do what you need to do to care for you. I hope you find peace and healing here as I have.......Michelle

[Donna]

Welcome to After Silence Lauri.

Donna =)

[reddd]

Welcome, Lauri!

Nobody in their right mind would expect you to just "let it go" overnight. As the Three Stooges used to say, "Rome wasn't built in a day---and neither was Syracuse!"

I hope that you find the loving support here that you need, so that you can feel strong. The strength is there, deep inside you. You just need some help and patience to coax it out into the light.

[Jessie]

Welcome to After Silence Lauri. Glad you found us. This is a wonderful place. There is always someone willing to lend an ear when times are hard. I hope you can finally get the support you need and deserve Luv Jess

[SheShy]

Hi Lauri,

Welcome to AS. I hope you feel welcomed here. This is a wonderful place to find understanding. I hope to get to know you soon.

Christy

[Kim]

Welcome to After Silence Lauri, I think you'll find a lot of people who really do understand.

Kim

[Imnotbroken]

Thank You all so much. I am not sure why I haven't found a place like this sooner. I find a strength here, I have never seen or felt before. All the stories, and the things ya'll share. It is unbelieveable. The strength you all show, blows me away. As I said, I hate that any of you had to go threw this, but there is a peace in the words, "I understand" I struggle with wanting to just put it away again, I don't want to think about it. But I can see it getting worse each time it returns. I have a lot of anger, but not just at my abuser, I have a lot of resentment with my family. I'm not sure which is harder to deal with really? All I really do know is, I need to be angry right now, and I need to lay blame where it belongs instead of caring it all myself. But, once again Thanks to all of you for having a understanding ear, for someone one you don't even know.

Anyway, I am glad to be here, one baby step down, a million to go.

Take Care all,

Lauri

[Guest Francesca]

It is totally ok to be angry and all that......just take you time and sort everything out...and make yourself comfy here.

[HiddenEmoGurl]

hi and welcome to After Silence. i'm new to lol. but if you need to talk i'm here.

[Guest hurtingforever]

Lauri,

Welcome to After Silence sweetie.

Love and hugs

Lindsay

[Venia]

Welcome to After Silence, Lauri

Meg

[davey]

Welcome to AS, your among friends.

[Charlene]

((((Lauri))))

welcome to the boards :hug:

~charlene~

[kit-kat]

welcome i am lso rather new here and can tell you that it is great for support, no that tehre is no pressure to tell you story but that no-one will judge you when you do. let of that hidden steam and know that your safe here because that was the big thing for me.

hope you find what you need

[aquapit]

Hi and welcome to AS! (sorry for the late welcome, I'm trying to catch up lol) I hope you find what you are looking for here. We are one great bunch if I do say so myself. Hope you feel the same way!

Take precious care of yourself.

Tracy