Jump to content
Some browsers are having difficulty with functionality. Please try an alternative browser, if this is happening to you. If you are having connectivity issues beyond this or or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×

Hello


Recommended Posts

I'm glad to have found this place. It's been hard, carrying it all. I tried to deal with it in the past but I could never really face it, so I found ways to live with it until now.

My daughter just had her 6th birthday. She is the same age as I was when I was first abused. I think that is why it is different now. It's all at the front of my mind and I feel like I have to talk about it. I'm ready now, and it feels like I've opened the floodgates and it is all rushing up and sometimes its so overwhelming.

I started counselling at a rape crisis centre. Its so helpful, but the time between appointments can be really hard.

Seeing my daughter at the age I was makes me realise it was not my fault. I have been blaming myself all these years. I thought I was a horrible person,evil, rotten to the core. But I was just a little girl. This hurts.

I have been punishing myself for so many years. Hurting myself in so many ways. But now I have made a commitment to myself that I will not hurt myself anymore. Stopping what has been almost a lifetime of self abuse is so so so hard. But I feel determined.

I keep imagining how wonderful it would be to feel at peace with myself and with my past, to feel whole and healed, and not broken. I deserve to feel that because I know now that it was not my fault.

Anyway, thank you for letting me be here.

Alicia

Link to post

Hi Alicia and welcome to AS! This is a great community full of helpful, supportive people. I'm sorry for what brought you here. It's hard being a parent and a survivor, especially when you have been through it as a child. I am also a parent to a 10 year old boy.

I'm glad you started counselling and have come to this point of reaching out. Are you able to call your counsellor in between appointments?

I hope you find that peace you so deserve.

:youcanheal::notalone:

Link to post

Thank you fallenstar, for replying to my post. I was a bit scared nobody would reply.

I never thought to ask my counsellor if I could call her. She texted me a few weeks ago, after I had a difficult session, to say I had done really well. But I wasn't sure if it was ok to reply or not. Maybe I will ask her.

Link to post

Welcome here, AliciaRaven. In reading your greeting, I sense a determined and strong personality who recognizes that you deserved none of the abuse, and that none of it was your fault. That's wonderful. I hope you find the support and understanding you're looking for here in After Silence. We're a caring, supportive, helpful community. Looking forward to seeing you around the boards.

Link to post

hello AliciaRaven

welcome to After Silence, my name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here. I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any assistance with anything, please let me know

take care, Paula

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...