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Desperate For Help


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Hello World. I am lost. I don't know how to get found...because I don't recognise myself anymore. This is my story.

I came home to look after my dad, who had been diagnosed with Cancer. My uncle, was also sick with heart issues...shortly after coming home, unfortunately my uncle passed away...the night before his funeral, i decided to catch up with some friends... a man spiked my drink, and my "friends" just left me... and next thing I really remember is waking up bleeding in some gross bathroom...covered in bruises and in serious pain. I wandered to a corner store and asked them to call me a cab (my wallet was gone, and phone was dead)

I told my "friends" what had happened... they didn't really seem concerned... I was confused, and exhausted...so I missed my uncles funeral..lied to my family and slept for 3 days straight.

Eventually after talking to some other friends about a week later, they convinced me to go to the police, but it was too late for "rape kit" stuff. I went to the doctor and police who made note of 2 fractured bones in my back, and several other physical injuries. It was a very hard time for my family, so I really tried not to tell anyone, but I spun out of control and eventually ended up spending the last 6 months of my dads life freaking out, rather than looking after my family. He died....as did my god mother... and now, I found myself alone, and unable to cope with life... where I thought time would make it better...in fact its making it much worse...its like a PTSD Snowball... I need to get out of this, or I won't last. I lost my friends, family, my job, and my life...the person left, I don't know her, and I don't like her and I don't want any of this to be real...but it is, and I don't know what to do to get out of this horrible cycle.

Can someone please help me?

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The only help I can offer you is that you are not alone.

I've been in a PTSD snowball for four years. Keep thinking i'm gonna hit bottom soon, but everyday I just keep rollin down that mountainside.

It sounds like you might want to talk to a therapist or a counselor because on top of your sexual assault, you experienced a lot of loss in a very short period of time and it's going to take A WHILE to heal from all that.

((((hugs, if ok))))

jessiejoy

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I am so sorry for all of your losses (and in such a short time period). The pain you feel is normal and must be dealt with. I really suggest you contact your local rape crisis center for counseling and group services. It's such a crucial step to know that you are not alone and that others have come through all this to find joy on the other side. Those "friends" don't seem like they really want what is best for you. It's important to find some who do.

Sending warm thoughts your way and lifting prayers for your peace......Welcome to Aftersilence :hi:

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almostgone,

I'm sorry that life has gotten so tough recently. Please keep posting here. People on this site get what you're going through. At one time all of us were questioning how we were going to get through it. I will echo some of the other responses in telling you that a therapist can be crucially important for you during this time. It's not about getting a diagnosis or getting medicated, although one or both of those things may ultimately happen; it's about having a place where you can just vent all the issues that are causing you pain and distress and hearing a response that validates what you're feeling. From my own experience, it's so important to have a place to talk about these issues. It's like clearing away the fog so that you can see a path forward.

If you want to talk sometime you can always PM me, but no pressure - only if you want to. If you need someone to vent to I'll be there to listen and offer my support.

Please take good care of yourself.

-Guy

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Hello Gone,

I want to echo everything that Guy said to you. I'm very sorry for everything that has happened to you during this tough time. Feel free to post, vent, PM me, anything that you feel you may need during this time. I understand how it feels to feel lost and when PTSD snowballs out of control, and how it feels it's going to destroy you. You won't be destroyed; there is hope and life for you :) Coming from experience, I know this to be true. Please take good care of you during this time.

- Courtney

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hello almostgone,

welcome to After Silence,

my name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here, I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any help with anything , please let me know and I will do my best to help

take care,

Paula

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