Hi ...

[Silverthorn]

Am on a lot of forums ... fan sites ... etc ... but have never felt as nervous or anxious about posting in one as I am now ... I'm 41 years old this year ... and some of the stuff I'm dealing with ... some of the stuff that only came out recently - happened over 30 years ago .... have had some initial meetings with counsellors and am now on a waiting list for about six months - also waiting for an appointment with an emotional support worker - but at the moment I'm kind of in limbo with no one who really knows or understands what I'm going through.

[silentg]

Hi Silverthorn,

Welcome to AS

It's normal to be nervous but you will find a lot of people here who understand what you are going through.

You are not alone in dealing with memories from a long time ago, I'm sorry you have to wait 6 months to talk to someone. I hope that you will find some support here in the meantime!

[MeBeMary]

Hello Silverhorn,

Welcome to AS. It's understandable to be nervous, I know that I was when I first came here. It's not easy to reach out, but you have, and that is a big step. The members here are kind and supportive, but look around first, that will help with the nerves. There is never and pressure to post anything ever. If you do feel as if you do, know that you will find so much support. I wish you well on your healing journey.

Mary

[z63]

One baby step at a time!

[sisterinsurvival]

Hi Silverthorn,

My name is Jan, and I am a volunteer with the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence.

I am glad that you have joined with us and hope that you find comfort and support here. Becoming involved with this community and connecting with others may prove to be a great help in easing your sense of loneliness. I am sorry that you are stuck in a holding pattern for treatment. I wish you all the best on your healing journey in the days to come.

If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible.

Take good care,

[JoeyJoeJoeJrShabadoo]

Welcome, Silverthorne. I know how you feel. I am active on a lot of forums for my interests and have no problem sharing but here I feel a bit floofy about it, even though based on what I've seen, it's a nice enough place. Cheers to a fruitful adventure here and wishes for a speedy appointment with a support worker.

[reglois]

if OK

[behindthesehazeleyes]

hi there silverthorn. i'm pretty new here, but the support i've found in just a few days has been so welcoming and accepting. it's understandably a very confusing time for you but know that many of us have been through the nerves of speaking out and looking for someone who understands what we're going through, even when we don't understand it ourselves. you aren't alone. welcome! xx

[Kimberly122708]

Welcome! I also was very anxious, nervous, and apprehensive about posting. I was worried that my story wasn't the "right kind of story"....

I was wrong! I was welcomed with open arms and words of support.

It's always a shock when you move forward with your life, you think you've "gotten over something", and then BAM, suddenly it's back in the forefront of your mind/heart.

Stay strong - know you can always find someone to talk to/listen to you here.

I see you, I support you.

[Silverthorn]

Thanks guys ... I had a really bad night last night ... took some tablets ... not enough to overdose but only because I stopped myself - broke down in tears and then was on the phone to a crisis number I got given at my initial meetings ... 2.00am in the morning and I'm pouring my heart out to a complete stranger ... I thought I'd hit rock bottom already .... obviously not ... I just feel a complete failure at the moment and that everyone including myself would be better off if I wasn't here

[Kimberly122708]

I'm proud you used the hotlines. Never be ashamed to reach out. It takes so much courage to deal with these issues/emotions...ignoring them only makes it harder on yourself.

You're not a failure. You are human, and humans can be hurt. It takes strength to heal, learn to cope/live with/accept that the past happened. Then to grow from that place, it is freeing, liberating. You are amazing, and I'm glad you're here. On this forum, in the universe. Reach out when you're hurting!!

Keep moving forward!

[arielg]

Embrace your past, it's what made you who you are.