hello

[Guest Lost and not yet found]

I am new to this site. I actually stumbled upon it by accident.

As a chld, I was sexually abused for many years by a family member. Now I'm in my mid 30's and I still "live" a life full of pain, anger and lonliness. I have very few friends, I have trouble with all relationships, I can't trust or love (not even Family), and for the most part, I can barely function. I don't want to be like this...it's too tough.

I want to live, have friends and start my own family. I want to be able to function without the anxiety and fear of the world. I want to LIVE and ENJOY life and most times it seems like I never will be able to. Most of all, I want to love and be loved. How can I do that when I go through life like a zombie in hiding???

I finally decided to sign up here after reading others' thoughts and feelings. It was so very strange because I kept thinking I was reading about myself.

Thanks for having me...I so badly needed somewhere to go.

[Guest San]

Hello,

Welcome. I have a very similar story to yours, I also was abused by a family member for many years. I also struggle with anxiety, relationships, and in general being happy. I also just stumbled upon this site. You will find this forum very comforting, If nothing else you will know that you are not alone anymore. Trust is a huge issue with me. Here I find it easier to trust people, because they do understand. I know that this probably won't make you feel better but sometimes it helps just to know that someone understands the pain of this kind of trauma.

I am sorry that you have had to go through this. I am glad you have found us.

San

[Vera]

as San said, I'm sorry you have a reason to be here but I'm glad you found us. I hope you'll find support and love here as much as I did.

"Most of all, I want to love and be loved. How can I do that when I go through life like a zombie in hiding???"

Boy, I could write this word by word....this is me too. I understand what you feel so well and I hope that we'll be both able to "escape this prison" soon. Sometimes we don't even realize that we have locked ourselves inside a cell.

"It's about realizing, painfully, you've kept that voice inside yourself, locked away from even yourself. And you step back and see that your jailer has changed faces. You realize you've become your own jailer."

Tori Amos

Let's try to free ourselves together!

Love,

Verena

[Edited on 12-24-2003 by Vera]

[Guest]

Hi and welcome to the group!

Your post really resonated with me as I too am in my mid 30's, was abused by a family member, have few friends, am filled with anxiety.

I am finding this is a long journey, but it is easier to take with comrades. Nobody in my life understands what comes with healing. This is a place I can come and people "get it", which is a HUGE relief.

Keep posting. Together we will all find our way.

~Kelly

[Peacegirl]

((((Lost))))

I'm glad that you found this group for support. I hope that you will gain strength and realize you are supported here.

(((Hugs)))

Lindsay

[phoenyx]

Welcome to the group-this is a very supportive and caring group of people-i'm glad you found your way in here. Please don't be a stranger. My story is under: my survivor story-phoenyx.