hi, my 1st time here. question on self-defence

[Guest reesa]

can you pray for self-defense? i have asked God to help me from being abused so much, and i'm too scared to try and leave. when does God allow you active self-defense? thanx any one for an opinion. is this a Christian board?

[Guest Ana]

(((*T* for religion??))))

Hi Reesa~

Welcome to After Silence! I am so glad you have found this place!!! However, my heart aches for the reason why you are here. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Please know you are not alone. I have found so much support and encouragement here. It is a safe place to write about basically anything that's on your heart.

To be honest, your questions are tough to answer. I don't really know what to say... Well, first this not specifically a christian board... but everyone here is very supportive and accepting. Wether you are or aren't a christian, I hope you don't mind me saying that I do believe you can pray for self-defence. It's never wrong to pray anything that's on your heart. Also, I think it is God's desire for all of us to be safe and secure and delivered from abusive situations... His heart aches so much when He sees us in pain. He loves you so much, hon... in a way that is so hard for us to imagine. Sometimes the entire process of breaking free and beginning to heal takes time... but please know I will be praying for you! ...that you will have the strength, boldness, and wisdom to know what you should/need to do next. Remember, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18 ...and hon, God is love. Keep crying out to Him... He hears... and sees every tear. You are not alone. We are here for you. Hang in there. *safe hugs*

You can U2U me (a personal message) anytime you need to talk. Let me know how I can help.

With love always,

~Ana

(Hi... I just felt I should add something real quick. I know I wrote this in the wee hours of the night when my mind was a bit fuzzy and struggling for thoughts. Later I realized I maybe should've explain that verse a bit more. It was the only thing that popped in my head. I think because it's been one that's helped me realize so much...that there is nothing to fear in true, pure love. That is so hard to imagine... our concept of love can be so twisted. It's just comforting to know God loves me in that way... very safe. Anyway, I just don't want it to sound like there's anything wrong with fear or that it should be "driven out." Fear is very much understandable. We all struggle with it. Hope i'm making sense... kinda feel like I'm not. Just felt I needed to explain a bit more. Also... I agree very much with the rest that you should try to get help as soon as you can.)

[Lilea]

Hey Reesa... Although this is not a Christian board, there are many of us here who are, and many who do believe in a power higher than us. No matter what anyone believes faith wise, we are all here to support each other. So welcome!

That said, I am a Christian, and I understand the many struggles with God that we have when we are being abused. My church actually helped me to leave my abusive father when I was 17. When you are ready, push and push and push to get away from your abuse, b/c it is only when you are truly safe that your greatest healing will begin. Welcome again, and my prayers and hugs to you...

[Clarissa]

Hi Reesa!

Welcome to After Silence. I am glad you are here! This is not a Christian board, but everyone is very accepting and supportive. LIke Lilea said, many of us are. If i mention God, i usually just put "*T* for religion" in the subject.

I think it's a good thing to pray for protection and safety. I also think it's okay to leave an abusive situation. God did not call us to be people who can be walked all over. I mean, no, you cant kill a person for self-defense, but you should most definately get yourself to a shelter, or leave the situation somehow. It's not a sin to stand up for yourself, to be angry, and state your rights. In the Bible, in says, in your anger, do not sin... I think it's in james. But It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to sin in anger...do you see the difference? Even Jesus himself was angry, but he did not sin in His anger. In the meantime, keep praying and trusting that God can use the pain for His glory...we do not yet see the big picture...but He does. I hope this helps a little bit. Feel free to u2u me anytime. We are here for you! YOu are in my thoughts and prayers.

love clarissa

[phoenyx]

(((Reesa))) Welcome to the group. *T* While I am not a "Christian" I do believe in a higher power. I follow a different path. As is is said, "There is one truth but many paths." I do firmly believe in the power of prayer for the good of all things. I too feel and believe we are not meant to stay in any abusive situation and should get out A.S.A.P. Please take care. I will hold you in my prayers

[Guest reesa]

i appreciate all the kind words and good advice, and i'm glad i didn't do anything drastic. i don't know how many times i've come this close to getting rid of one of us permanently; it used to be me i want to end it all, but last few times it was going to be him, but i have kids and don't want to go to jail and don't want to make God angry, and sin like that. i can't leave because he said he'd hurt my other family. i think he has a demon when he drinks, and he has a lot of mental problems. i wish i'd never met him, and was so stupid to get involved. i've been praying for over 8 years about this. my health has really deteriorated from the constant stress. i did call the law on him once last year and he spent 6 months in jail, and i've been paying for that ever since, am scared to try that again. i hate sex 100% and being abused all night long, when i'm supposed to be at work and i can't tell my boss what is happening and why i'm not working. i hope i don't snap and do something.....i'm trying to get over a nervous breakdown from the other night. i can't get up out of bed to work because i don't want to think about anything. i try to drink and take antidepressants to make myself not think about anything, thinking and remembering and fearing the future hurt and abuse that i know will come, and trying to pretend to the world and my family and friends that everything is ok, it's getting harder, so i've been avoiding everyone. i was briefly happy when he was in jail, i lost weight and was happy every day, until he came back. oh shoot, this is getting too long. k' that's it for now then.

[tulip]

Welcome reesa, I will pray for you, you deserve so much to feel safe and secure.

Courage.

tulip xxx

[Guest WOLFPACMOMMA3]

DEAR REESA;

BY MY PUTE I HAVE NMUN CHUCKS AND KNIVES AND BY FRONT DOOR I UYAVE HUGH WOODEN STAFF AND ROD; I BELIEV WE ARE MEANT TO PROTECT OURSELVES NOT STAND BACK A ND ALLOW THEM TO HURT US!:mad:

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF REASONABLY..IF I COULD AFFORD IT ID HAVE A NEW THING OF PEPPER SPRAY TOO..P::

THERE IS A DIFF BETWEEN SELF DEFENSE-DEFENDING YOURSELF AGAINST MORE ATTACKS/HARMS

ABND A DIFF BETWEEN

LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO FIGHT!

HUGS, TGEE:s: