Hi Everyone C:

[Sthefania]

Hi...

My name is Sthefany and i have 17 years old, you can call me Nia.

It's my fault i think, I'm from Venezuela and i joined here to heal my wounds.

I hope to make friends who can help each other...

I think that i have depression, because every 3 or 4 days I'm depressed for some reason or some problem, when i was a kid i suffered a serious clinical depression, but know I'm kinda better. But my past is something that i can't forget and pardon myself since my whole life... And my family doesn't know about... Practically all my life. And well i don't put a user profile yet because it doesn't want to upload the picture.

And well... Sweet night to everyone.

[Minerba]

Hello Sthefania, welcome to this group. It will make you realize you are not alone. I hope you also realize that the abuse was not your fault.

Healing is a journey and takes time. Healing is possible. Go at your own pace. It is okay to take care of yourself.

This is a good support group online. There is also information you can read. Are you seeing a counselor?

It is normal to feel the way you are feeling at present. Many survivors experience depression. I wonder what helps for you? What things do you have in your life that are good and make you happy?

We cannot erase the past but you have a present and a future.

Welcome again and be part of the group.

May you be well.

How cool that you can speak Spanish. It is a beautiful language.

[Sthefania]

Thank you <3

Well since" i go out" apparently of my psychological problem when i had 16 (a year ago). My family starts to get the calm they needed for so many years, i used to hate my mom, but now she's my entire world. So i not seeing a counselor but i hope to see it in when i go to the college. My mom represent perfectly the forgiveness and who helped me a lot is my actual boyfriend... But lately we had a lot pf problems for my fault and he thinks that i have to see a professional because what affects me is out of my hands and i also hate being alone with myself. So practically I'm fighting alone because i don't want to hurt my family again... So I'm fighting alone, I'm... Very better now because i don't want to die like before. My kind of abuse i don't know how to describe it and... When i was a kid so many kids or people almost of my age used me and lied to me a lot... Even touching me, and also my step father but i said "No" before it turnes worse. I was very pushover and i always tried to being good with people and be their friend... But now i don't trust anyone and i have problems with myself and the religion because i feel like some kind of w**re and any memories of my childhood aren't good so i don't like to remember even that. Even that my case was something little in comparison to the others, i really admire then how strong they are...

Also thank you very much <3

[reglois]

if OK

[MeBeMary]

Welcome Nia. You are not alone with any of this. I blamed myself for a long time, but the blame does not belong on the victim, it belongs on the abuser(s). There is nothing in this world that gives another person the right to abuse. You did nothing and could do nothing wrong to deserve it.

I've dealt with depression, and so have many others. You will find that so many people can relate to this struggle. You are not alone.

Mary

BTW...they have been having technical problems with uploading the profile pictures. They are working on it, and hopefully it will be fixed soon.

Edited February 4, 2015 by MeBeMary

[Sthefania]

Thank you Mary, Minerba and reglois. I really appreciate this. ❤

[NeedPeace]

Hi Nia,

Are you currently still in Venezuela? It's good that you found this forum, as it proven to be very helpful to me. There is no pressure (or need) to share your story before you are ready. AS is a gentle and supportive place.

I just noticed in a previous post that someone said you speak Spanish, if you ever want to PM me in Spanish...I, too speak Spanish...

Take Gentle Care...

Edited February 5, 2015 by NeedPeace

[sunshinee]

Hello Nia,

Welcome to Aftersilence.

You're from Venezuela?? That's super cool we did a music exchange with some students from there, and up until today we are still friends!

I want you to know that you are not alone- even if that's what it feels like right now. I blamed myself for years and years, and you know the blame is not yours... not even 1%. I hope that you are starting to find your way around the boards, and if you need anything please feel free to send me a message.

There are people working to get the profile picture fixed up....hopefully it will be soon!

Mandy

[Sthefania]

Hi everyone 😺

Yeah, I'm still living in Venezuela.

I will write you NeedPeace, thanks for the support sunshine and all of you guys, and well if you guys need something, can write me too. Or for knowing things about my country for a homework maybe? Or Spanish

Everyone are so kind 🐧 I'm here to help too 💕 and being an example of struggling how i can.