Taken Me 26 Years To Be Able To Say All This.

[invisible1971]

Hi everyone I am a fairly new member although I have put a few posts up. I was r*ped by someone (not a family member) I have known since we were 3 yrs old, we grew up together, went to the same school etc I even ended up having to work with him.

I was 17 at the time, I didn't tell anyone for some time because I felt like it was my fault and also as I am disabled I thought nobody would believe me if I did say something. Eventually I told my sister and her reaction was to call me a liar and say "it couldn't possibly have happened because you're disabled"!!! Like that made a difference.

Anyway as long as I had to face him somehow I managed to keep it together, but once my parents and I (I still live with them due to my disability) moved away the wall I had built up began to crumble.

Four years ago I finally asked the GP for help, he referred me to a counsellor and wrote on the form that I was not to be contacted at home and wrote my mobile number on the referral, but a letter was sent to my parents house and dad opened the letter.

It didn't say why I was being referred and they have no idea what happened, I will never tell them. Their reaction to the letter was to tell me I wasn't welcome in my own house if I went through with the appointment! I did go through with it but had to lie about where I was going, the counsellor was no good and told the gp I had too many obstacles for her to handle so she was discharging me! He said I could fiind my own help! I said I had tried so he then said he "can you give me a few days and I will get back to you" he never has.

In August I went to see another GP in the practice and he has been lovely, I am now on medication (again my parents have no idea). It has taken me 26 years to be able to open up about what happened and not feel like I am being judged.

Thanks for reading this and listening.

Invisible1971

[reglois]

Glad you found the courage to go against your parents and seek help and that you found caring GP if OK

[NorskyCourtney]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through, and for how you've been judged/not believed by others. So heartbreaking. As if enduring trauma wasn't enough, it adds insult to injury to be called a "Liar". I'm proud of you for seeking out this GP against your parents' wishes. Sending you support and wishing you all the best. This is a very caring community of individuals, I hope you find the support/understanding you're seeking. See you around, Invisible.

[lucyinthesky]

I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Welcome to AS. I hope you find comfort and healing from this wonderful community

[lexip]

I am also so sorry for everything you have been through! I hope you find all the support and healing here at AS that you deserve!

Janepp

[angelic]

hello Invisible1971

welcome to After Silence, my name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here. I'm sorry for all you've been through and I hope being here will help you on your healing journey

if you need any help with any thing on the board, please let me know and I will do my best to help

take care, Paula

[EmergingLight]

I'm so sorry for what you're been through Invisible. You are very brave to have gone after the help you need in spite of the obstacles. This is a wonderful, supportive place. I look forward to getting to know you on the boards.

[Purplehaze]

Wow visible1971, as if the original ordeal was not enough! To then, not be believed or supported, to then be let down by the system!!! I admire your tenacity. I truly hope you find a lovely caring counsellor that can support you through your journey. May you also find friends and support here!