Hi

[shanno]

Hi, I'm pretty happy I found this site. I was sexually abused by my oldest brother from the age of 8 till I was about 16. I am now 33 and have only recently come out with it and have told my partner and my parents. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and as much as they are 'there' for me I have never felt so alone. I have started seeing a psychologist to get the healing process under way. Since I have broken the silence all these memories have come flooding back and I'm getting some pretty horrible images playing through my head. I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to feel, just feeling really lost at the moment.

[Chatherine]

So sorry for your pain. The first person to assault me was like a brother. I was 4 and he was 14. And my actual brother would sit there and just allow it to happen. It is so hard to understand and contemplate why someone who is suppose to be looking out for you ends up being the one that is the most scary.You have already made the first step by getting help.

[reglois]

for the reasons that brought you here if OK

[shanno]

Thankyou, My brother was also 14, my other brother was 13 and I have no idea if he knows what went on when mum and dad were at work. I don't know how I would cope if he knew and didn't do anything about it.

[josiel]

Hi shanno,

Welcome to AS!

Very sorry to hear about what happened to you. Glad that you are working with a psychologist. Please know that you are not alone. The horrible images that are playing in your head are called flashbacks. You are remembering, and it sounds like you have started the healing process. I understand the lost feeling. I have felt that way many, many times. It's probably very common amongst survivors. You said you're not sure what you're supposed to feel...you are feeling! (Feeling lost) Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have heard many times the say, "the only way out is through".

All the best to you on your healing journey,

Josie

[lucyinthesky]

There are no rules to how you're supposed to feel so be gentle with yourself. Glad to hear you have a psychologist for added support!

[angelic]

Hi Shannon

welcome to After Silence, my name is Paula, one of the newbie support team here. I hope you are doing okay and finding your way around the board, please let me know if I can help

take care, Paula

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you are finding your way around the boards ok.

Found