New & Scared Too death

[Guest cappyb]

My name is Kay and I am new to any kind of message board. I am 34 years old. I have worked in Law Enforcement for 14 years but was raped two months ago. You would think that I would have been able to stop him, for the first time in my life, I froze. I am also afraid to turn this over to my LT. or anyone else I work with. I have done many interviews with victims of rape & so forth but I never thought I would be the one on the other side. Being a woman in this field has been tough & working my way up in the ranks has been a long road. How can I possibly tell anyone without critisism for not defending myself? I can't find any websites dealing with assault on women in law enforcement? This site is wonderful & has helped me at least understand why I feel the way I do. Thank You.

[Guest ann]

Hi Kay, my name is ann. I am new here too. I am so sorry for what happened to you. You are not alone, there are caring people here,who can offer alot of support.

thinking of you...ann

[Guest sleepysmile]

I have found that the toughest critic who always tells me I should have fought back is myself. And I should know better, as should you. In retrospect, there are a million things I should have done differently, but I froze too. Please realize that the crime here has nothing to do with whether or not you fought back.

I hope that if you do decide to come forward with this, people will be as supportive of you as they were of me. Just remember that you are strong: as a woman, as an officer, as a human being. I know you're strong because of what you go through every day, because of how far you've come in your life... nothing can take that strength away from you, and no reasonable person could ever doubt it.

Best wishes, Kay, and welcome to After Silence!

love,

Stacia

[Lindy]

(((Kay)))

Hi and welcome to After Silence. I'm sorry you have a reason to be here, but glad you have found us.

I think Stacia said it best. If you do decide to come forward that you will get all the help and support you need. We're here to walk with you through this journey.

Take gentle care,

Lindy

[Guest JessicaSC]

Hi Kay, I am also new to this message board. I wanted to tell you that when I told my story about being raped to the reporting officer, she told me she had been assaulted too...so you are not alone. When I asked her if it was recently, I did not think she was any less of a cop if it happened when she was a cop. It is still a horrible thing and it is normal to freeze. She told me it happened several years ago. I do not know if she told other officers but she told me she still goes to counseling because as she said she is very analytical and goes over and over what could she have done differently, though I knew even at that time it was not her fault. I think you should be proud for working up the ranks especially as a female officer. I am confident too that you can get through this, you are a survivor. I tried to find a website dealing with assault on women in law enforcement and I couldn't find any either, but you have taken a big step by coming here and I'm glad you did. hope you stay in contact with us, let us know how you're doing. Take care of yourself.