Greetings From Norway!

[butterflymama]

Hello everyone!

I am an American living in Norway. I don't really know what to write here. My older brother sexually and physically abused me for several years. Nobody believed me when I cried for help. I have been called a liar, a spoiled brat, an attention getter just because of the many different ways I tried to get someone to listen or to help. All the people I trusted in my childhood let me down when they ignored me. So I have told myself to never trust again and I don't... not even my family nor psychologists. It is hard to trust people who have only shut me out when I needed them the most. I get so angry when people tell me that I am a liar. It makes me sad when people call me the crazy one when all I do is ask for help. "It isn't my business", "Stop with your false accusations"... how can people be so ignorant? Just a few years ago I learned that he sexually abused my 3 sisters and some of his classmates. I wouldn't be surprised if he also sexually and physically abused his own wife and daughter. Why do the abusers and manipulators get away with what they do? It's just not fair. I wish I had known about this forum long ago... maybe it could have spared me a lot of grief and pain. I doubt that I will ever heal and find peace. :-(

[reglois]

if OK I thought that after being abused for decades that I could never get to grips with what happened, I can't trust easily at all but here I have found the empathy, friendship and yes help that I have never ever had. it has saved my life.

Edited February 13, 2015 by reglois

[butterflymama]

Hello reglois and thanks for the welcome! :-)

It is good to meet you and others here who understand mostly of how I feel. Wishing all the best for you in your continuous journey to healing.

[MeBeMary]

Hello Butterflymama,

I'm sorry for the pain you suffered, but you will never be called a liar here. You are right, that people like this get away with it, and we have to figure out a way to heal. I've been with AS just over 3 weeks, and everyone is supportive and kind. I wish you the best on your path of healing.

Mary

[butterflymama]

Thanks MeBeMary, I wish you the same. I think AS will help me a lot.

[josiel]

Hi butterflymama,

Welcome to AS! Wow...Norway is such a beautiful country! I have been to Sweden and Finland but haven't been to Norway. I'm in Canada. I'm just curious...but please don't answer if it's not comfortable...did you move to Norway to get away from it all? I grew up in Eastern Canada but now live at the other end of the country...I wanted/needed to get away from my family as far as I could. I was abused by my father for many years.

I am so sorry about what you went through and that no one believed you when you spoke up about the abuse...that is horrible! Yes, you are right...all you did was ask for help. You should have been believed. You should have been helped. Know that you are not alone. AS is great...we support and understand eachother here. The people on this website are amazing and so courageous! It's a good place. I am so grateful for the internet and to also have found AS.

I have read many posts of people here who say that it does get better. And that it is possible to heal. My life has improved for me in many ways since I started T (therapy) five years ago. Five years may seem like a lot, but there is a lot of work and processing involved for me as the abuse went on for so long and it has affected me so deeply for so long. I am continuing the work as I do have hope for the future. I wish you the same!

All the best on your healing journey,

Josie

Edited February 14, 2015 by josiel

[lucyinthesky]

Welcome!!!

[angelic]

hello butterflymama,

welcome to After Silence, my name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here,. I am sorry for all you;ve gone through and I hope being here will bring you some healing, support and peace, we all know the pain of not being heard and not being believed,.

if you need any help with the board, please contact me and I will do my best to help

take care, Paula

[butterflymama]

Thanks for the welcome everyone! :-)

josiel, my husband is Norwegian and after giving it a go in USA for 3 years, we decided that moving to Norway would be the better place for raising a family. Was sad to read that you felt you needed to move away from it all. I hope that it has helped you. I also wish you the best on your healing journey. So grateful to have AS.

lucyinthesky, I love that song!

angelic, thanks! If I have any concerns or questions down the road I will surely come in contact with you.

[louiseroi]

Hiya,

So sorry that you went through that with your brother. I dont have a brother but my sisters could be pretty weird. Its only when you grow up and meet people whose families respect their boundaries, you realise just how wrong interfamilial abuse is and how scarring. I had a relationship with a man who had abused his sister but that was the least of his problems, to be honest. No answers I just wish you well on your healing journey.