Hello, I'm A Survivor

[hoping2heal]

Greetings everyone,

My name is Rachel and I've been a victim of both childhood sexual abuse and physical abuse. My physical abuse lasted around 19 years (when I left home) and the sexual abuse lasted from the ages of 2-13. I have a lot of healing to do and a long journey ahead of me. I joined this site a while back but wasn't in the right mindset to want to heal at that time. I came back and I'm glad I did. I'm ready for my journey, good or bad and I've even set up an appointment for a shrink. Hoping to heal, make friends, and grow from this opportunity. Pleasure meeting you all!

[itsmylife]

I'm glad to hear of you wanting to start the recovery phase! There are a lot of people on here with similar stories, and it helps a great amount to be able to share your story with others who understand the pain and psychological effects of being abused.

I wish you luck on your journey, and am very sorry to hear of your abuse and what you have to go through.

[MeBeMary]

Hi Rachel.

Welcome back. I know that sometimes not being ready means just that. I spent many years not being ready, but once I knew it was time, it became a little easier. I am glad you that you remembered AS, as I think it is a very supportive site. I wish you well on your healing journey.

Mary

[reglois]

if OK

[Rosesarered]

I wish I can become ready right now. I am so anxious. I wish I can have someone to talk to. Hear their voice to be able to validate me. I am full of self doubt. I am resisting because I am ashamed and afraid of being my real self. I have distanced myself and refer to me as she. I am so ashamed of this. Try as I may to convince myself that I don't have to be afraid of what people think or what they will say fails. See I' am afraid of being abandoned if I show my true feelings because they will be written all over my face and people will reject me. So I wish I had someone to talk to personally who is not judge mental and won't laugh or criticize me. That's what I get mostly when I try to bear myself to friends and family because they mean well but do not understand.

I stay in Antigua, West Indies or Caribbean and people think u r crazy if they hear u talk about wanting to do therapy or anything with a shrink. So will rarely find a shrink here and if u do it is very expensive. See I used to live in Africa with my husband and he died this year January. Now I am alone. He used to support me a lot. I also lost my job and had to come to live with my niece here. So now I am very overwhelmed and fragile plus having to deal with my past. It's challenging. I wish I had people or some one who I could talk to that understand.

You are definitely not alone. We r all in the struggle. Hope to get through though.

[Rosesarered]

Can someone please help??

[nycgirl]

Hi Rachel,

Welcome back, I did not know you previously

I am sorry to read about your past abuse.

I also experienced CSA as a child.

I am Proud of YOU, and want to commend you for returning to AS for Support

You seem to be doing every thing right.

Making an appointment with your Psychiatrist, and possible therapist should help you greatly on your Journey to Healing.

I am sure that you will make many friends here that love and support YOU.

Sending YOU Support If OK

[TerraMarkov]

wow! i'm very happy that you have decided to seek help.

i can understand what you said about not being in the right mind set, i've been that way before.

i hope that AS is as beneficial to you as it is to me! i'm sure you will find much support here!

my inbox is always open if you want to talk.

i look forward to chatting with you.

-terra

[ActivistAlly]

Hello,

Welcome to AS (After Silence) from the NST (Newbie SupportTeam). We're here to help if you need anything so please feel free to
message me if you have questions okay?

With support,

Activist Ally