Jump to content
Some browsers are having difficulty with functionality. Please try an alternative browser, if this is happening to you. If you are having connectivity issues beyond this or or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×

New Girl


Guest chrissyk0877

Recommended Posts

Guest chrissyk0877

Hi, I've just recently begun to have "feelings,emotions" resurface from my past, and I'm not quite sure how to deal with them. I thought I could try talking to others like me. It's scary how many of "us" are out there. I think I might need to see somebody. I was in therapy for a short while before my husband (then boyfriend) found out about "it." I stopped seeing my counselor shortly after that. I don't know what to do with these feelings, emotions. I want someone to "fix" me. It's a shame that we didn't do anything wrong, and yet we are the ones who must live with the "consequences" of someone else's actions for the rest of our lives. Sometimes I can go a few days without thinking about "it." Other times, I am constantly reminded of "it." At times, I feel naked and exposed. I want to cover myself. After reading more on the after effects of sexual abuse, things are making more sense. (Excuse the graphic details)...when I feel as though I have done something wrong, I want to punish myself. As an argument occurs, I am thinking to myself what can I do to punish myself. I can see a knife blade sliding down my forearm and as the blood drips, I think to myself how much better I feel. ( Don't worry, I have only followed through with this a time or two, a long time ago) I sure wish my husband could understand that these feelings, emotions don't have anything to do with my feelings for him. I haven't said anything about the resurfacing of these feelings. The last time I told him about how I was feeling, our relationship almost ended and I did follow through with punishment. He just could not understand that my not wanting to be "touched" was not related to him. He took it as a direct blow towards him. Not the case. Thanks for listening.

Link to post
Guest butterfly

WELCOME TO THE BOARD :greet::greet:

You have taken a big step on your road to healing just by being here and sharing.

You should think about getting yourself back in therapy, healing is a long

painful road and you need all the support you can get. Maybe your husband

can even join you in a session or two to try and better understand what your

dealing with. Husbands are hard...it's all hard, but I know what your going

through. My husband tries so hard to understand, I feel

bad for putting him through this....but, it's not my fault....I can't help it...

like I tell him, just hang in there, I will get through this.

I too feel like I need to punish myself if I've done something wrong. My thought

are the same as yours.

I'm so glad you found your way here :hug::throb: I'm sure you will find

much support.

Take good care of yourself :throb::throb::throb:

Butterfly :hug::throb::hug:

Link to post

Welcome and I hope that being here helps in your healing journey .. :hug:

Link to post

welcome to the boards :greet:

hope you find all the support and helpyou need here :throb:

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...