New And Angry.

[falling.grace]

i am new. not at the event that has occured i guess but at the idea of dealing with it or believing that it is important enough to deal with. i have lived for three years fine, i think, actually no. yet, i havent fallen over and not gotten up so doesnt that count? im angry all the time. i cry when the topic is arised the whole day. i dont prefer to say the full admitting sentence. i am confused. i feel i am to blame, partly. i know that i should not feel that way. i hardly remember the incident. i feel as tho i blocked it and trying to go discuss it would be useless cause i cannot remember everything. i remember afterward. i did say no. i was under the influence. after writing this all i feel i am to blame.

i need advice. i dont know where to go from here. please, anything.

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

First of all you were not to blame. That is the most important thing for you to know and keep in your head.

I hope that you find the support you need and deserve here

Best wishes

Karen

[LivingLife]

Welcome!

You aren't to blame, whether sober or not, NO means NO! Shame is something you can drop at the doorway, it isn't yours to carry either. You did nothing wrong. I hope you continue to join us all as we walk this journey together, you've found a safe place.

Addie

[Donna]

What happend to you wasn't your fault, you were not to blame whatsoever. It takes time to truly accept it, but we will be with you while you work through it and after.

All of us have been there honey, you're not alone.

I'm sorry for all that you have been through, feel free to get yourself acquainted with the board and welcome to After Silence.

:hug:

Donna =)

[selene]

Hallo!

I know that it's not quite as easy as saying "don't blame yourself" - but this really wasn't your fault - even if you were under the influence.

Lots of love

Selene

[spent]

Welcome to AS and remember it was NOT your fault. You deserve better. I hope you find some comfort here. There are alot of people here who can understand.

Grace

Edited January 13, 2006 by spent

[Venia]

Hi hun,

Welcome to after silence .

The others are right, being under the influence does not imply consent. I hope you will feel welcome here and that you will find support and friendship among people who have been through similar things.

Love, Meg xx

[brobbitt]

i am new. not at the event that has occured i guess but at the idea of dealing with it or believing that it is important enough to deal with. i have lived for three years fine, i think, actually no. yet, i havent fallen over and not gotten up so doesnt that count? im angry all the time. i cry when the topic is arised the whole day. i dont prefer to say the full admitting sentence. i am confused. i feel i am to blame, partly. i know that i should not feel that way. i hardly remember the incident. i feel as tho i blocked it and trying to go discuss it would be useless cause i cannot remember everything. i remember afterward. i did say no. i was under the influence. after writing this all i feel i am to blame.

i need advice. i dont know where to go from here. please, anything.

Hi,

"i dont prefer to say the full admitting sentence."

Because to do so would be like fully admitting it happened to you?

"I know that i should not feel that way"

But your confusion and lack of understanding regarding it drives that feeling anyway. Do you feel shame at what happened? I sense shame from you. You are sooo not to blame for this!

"i feel as tho i blocked it and trying to go discuss it would be useless cause i cannot remember everything."

Discussing it ,will make it more clear in your mind. It is crucialifyou are to begin the healing process that you do discuss this and identify fully with your feelings. You can do that here, or in some other place, but really important that you do. Whilst this will be painful, it will bring you relief longer term.

"i did say no."

Yes,and you meant it. This isn't your fault!

"i need advice. i dont know where to go from here"

Maybe begin with a journal. Begin to write down your thoughts and more importantly your feelings in regard to what happened to you. This is a form of self counselling (I am a counsellor and it is how we counsell ourselves.This allows you to express the many feelings you are experiencing, to get them out of you, to release the pressure of bottling it allup. Alternatively, you can write your feelings here and discuss them with me and other forum members who will give you time and space and more importantly understanding.

Your in my thoughts

Brian

[Donna]

Alternatively, you can write your feelings here and discuss them with me and other forum members who will give you time and space and more importantly understanding.

This is actually the public welcome forum for group introductions, feel free though honey to look around the board and find whichever areas you feel most comfortable posting or reading in whenever you are ready.

[Jessie]

Welcome to After Silence