Hello

[graceeternal]

I found this site tonight while searching the web, and am very glad I did.

I am a survivor of domestic violence. I am finally reaching a place in my healing to be able to face the demons that I have held onto for so long, and this seems like a very good place to express my feelings.

I look forward to getting to know some of you in the future.

grace

[Donna]

((((Grace)))))

Welcome to AS honey.

Donna =)

[Vera]

Welcome to After Silence Grace!

I'm a survivor of domestic violence as well, sadly so many of us are. I wish you didn't have a reason to be here, but I'm glad you have found us. I'm looking forward to get to know you and to support you as best as I can.

[Charlene]

welcome to AS Grace

~charlene~

[Lene]

Welcome to AS Graceeternal

Hope you can find the help and healing you need here,look forward to getting to know you!

Lene x

[teazle]

welcome

i'm fairly new as well, hope to get to know you

teazle

[InnocenceLost8]

WELCOME GRACE!!

Trinity

[Jacqui]

Welcome! I'm new too! Everyone has been so kind. Don't be afraid here, like me!

[Survivors sanctuary]

Welcome to AS, I hope you find it can help ..

[A Ray of Hope]

((((grace)))) safe hugs...Welcome to AS

I hope you find this to be a safe place to heal.

Hope to talk to you see!

Kris

[connyx]

a warm welcome also from me...

as u were able to see - its a great board here and the ppl ar amazing and very helpfull...

tc, c

[Lindsay]

Welcome to After Silence

Huggles,

Linds

[dodo]

My little girls middle name is Grace - I wish it was her first!

Welcome to AS

Karen

[MissN]

can anybody help me? just over 4 years ago my first love raped me. i was young, not ready for sex and it didnt matter how many times i said no...he was so forceful. i was on my period, there was blood everywhere, i was crying and he didnt care. tonight the images came flooding back. they ofen do but it is affecting the person i am. i have resorted to self harm, over-posessivenes of people. my temper has gradually got worst, i am always moody, always crying. i dont understand why i still hurt. when i was younger i was also a victim of violence within my house. my dad used to hit me if i annoyed him and i watched him burn my mum's arm and kick her... they are still together and i have forgiven him but i know it has changed me. everybody thinks i am so strong but they dont know what i've been through.

when i met my new boyfriend a year after it happened, i told him everything. it took a lot in me to talk about it and he was very supportive until we stopped having sex because i kept getting flashbacks. i couldnt stand for him to touch me anymore. we broke up after 2 years because he found another interest. me and him are stil best friends and tonight he does not understand why i can't stop crying. so i came downstairs to look for people who have been through anything similiar who may be able to help. am i overreacting?

[Donna]

(((((MissN))))))

You're not overreacting hun, all your emotions and feelings are very normal for somebody who has been through a pain such as this one. We're all here for you, please feel free to post away or just sit back and read. Whichever, just remember that you are not alone.

Take care & welcome to AS sweetheart.

:hug:

Donna

[Desdenova]

This is a completely normal feeling if you've been through pain and distress hun.

We are all definately here for you, take your time and post when you want. We're here for you, and you have joined one giant, online, family/community!

Welcome to AS MissN

Sammy

[MissN]

thank you very much. sometimes i feel as though i'm being really stupid, i let it control my life. it's good to know there are people out there who care. xx

[Jessie]

Welcome to AS Grace...you've found a fantastic place here, I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

Also welcome MissN, your not being stupid at all hunnie. You've been through alot and I'm glad you found the courage to come here and share your feelings. Hope we can help in some way.

Luv Jess

[MissN]

i thought maybe it would be a good idea to just use this as a sound off, just to write my thoughts and feelings down.

today i felt a little better but i have so much going on right now. i dont know if i can blame everything on what has happened to me but i am so insecure. i used to be a bubbly, confident person, i still can be just for other people. one thing i hate is other people knowing theres something wrong so i've been hiding out in my room for the past few days. i was thinking maybe it would be a good idea to talk to a therapist of some sort but i'm not sure how to go about it without my family finding out, plus i am a student so can't really afford it. are there any other options i have? i have finally admitted that i am breaking down and i can't continue like this. i just need help. probem is, when i think about talking to someone i feel like i'd be bothering them. i'm no sure how people would react to something like this unles they'd been through it, which is why i'm so glad i found this site!

[Jacqui]

Miss N - stop blaming yourself and thinking of it all at once.

Little steps, think about one thing at once, and calm down.

You've been through a lot - that's for sure, but what you need to do now is to slow down, tackle one thing at once and don't despair.

You say you've forgiven your father - now you need to forget it happened. I don't mean completely blank it - that's not good - but deal with it, face it again and tackle it. Easier said than done, believe me I know, but it's still very much an issue with you, so must be dealt with.

Good luck. And sympathy and hugs!

J xx

[Kim]

Miss N,

If you call a Rape Crisis Center or the RAINN hotline they can help you find free counceling. They will also stay on the phone with you and help you through the really tough times.

As long as you are not a minor you won't have to worry about your family finding out. The councelor is not allowed to tell anyone they even see you as a client. If you are a minor the councelor would have to report the child abuse. Or if you are in danger of suicide the councelor would have to report it.

Let us know how we can help.

Kim

[rosicles]

hey girl, family won't find out unless u tell them. i'm 17 and was raped by my dad for 5 or 6 years (not sure, don't know when it ended) and my councillor has done more 4 me then anyone else could. how old are you anyway girl. dad was also violent. ur not overreacting at all. ur just grieving. i no what its like to have this bringing u down and having other life issues too. i have court 2morrow and i had to move out cus of my autistic brother and had to quit school to be able to work. so now i do correspondance for school. all this hit in this last month. and sometimes u feel that u can't deal with it, but u can cus ur strong and can survive. no1 will understand unless they've been there. they can't really. andway, keep smiling and try to do things 4 u 2 stay happy and find nice things everyday, it makes it much easier.

amy