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Anne81

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Hello. I'm new to After Silence, and am not really sure what to expect. I came here because I'm struggling with PTSD and dissociation due to sexual and physical abuse as a child. Then I was raped as an adult. I started therapy about a month ago, but it's getting harder because it forces me to face feelings that I've hidden from for so long. Therapy is expensive and I can't go often, so I'm hoping that this group might help me to cope better during the "in between times." I would appreciate any advice you may have.

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Hi Anne, I am new here as well and also not entirely sure what to expect. I would have messaged you if I knew how - this site doesn't seem to be that easy to navigate. Anyways I am glad you found this site and are having the strength and courage to talk about things. I am about to start therapy again - I went in my teens and in my late twenties and am needing to go again. I was previously diagnosed with panic disorder and anxiety in 2008 - I am sure most is related to my childhood sexual abuse. When did you get diagnosed with ptsd?

-Jay

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Hi Anne, I am new here as well and also not entirely sure what to expect. I would have messaged you if I knew how - this site doesn't seem to be that easy to navigate. Anyways I am glad you found this site and are having the strength and courage to talk about things. I am about to start therapy again - I went in my teens and in my late twenties and am needing to go again. I was previously diagnosed with panic disorder and anxiety in 2008 - I am sure most is related to my childhood sexual abuse. When did you get diagnosed with ptsd?

-Jay

Hi Jay, Thanks for replying. I'm having trouble navigating, as well, but what I have found seems good, so I'm going to keep learning about it for now. I'm sad that you had similar abuse issues. It's encouraging to know that your therapy helped. I was diagnosed in November of this year. It felt so weird. I like to live in denial, so hearing my T give me an actual diagnosis kind of freaked me out. I guess I don't like to be labeled, and I already feel damaged, so hearing a diagnosis felt like a confirmation of my broken condition and inability to be "normal" no matter how hard I try. But I guess it also made me more determined to find healing.

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It's hard to be labeled - I totally agree, and it seems unfair for the diagnosis as it is the result of something we had no control over. It's unfortunate, but with time and therapy things usually do get better. Has the ptsd affected your day to day? I went through a period of time where I had to quit my job, I couldn't drive, I couldn't be alone and I would wake up every day with a racing heart and I would vomit in the shower.

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It's hard to be labeled - I totally agree, and it seems unfair for the diagnosis as it is the result of something we had no control over. It's unfortunate, but with time and therapy things usually do get better. Has the ptsd affected your day to day? I went through a period of time where I had to quit my job, I couldn't drive, I couldn't be alone and I would wake up every day with a racing heart and I would vomit in the shower.

I like the way you worded it. I'm hoping the therapy helps. Yes, the PTSD has really started affecting my day-to-day life, and that's why I started the therapy. I moved in September. I'm living alone, and the last time I lived alone some creep was stalking me. Now every little noise or leaving a door ajar, or anything out of order sets me off and even though I know it's probably irrational I feel like maybe he's back (the police never figured out who it was). I started having major flashbacks, stopped sleeping more than 2-3 hours a night, sometimes after therapy I lay awake and just physically shake. I am on my own, so I can't afford not to work, but it's taking everything I have just to make myself leave the house. Yesterday at work my heart kept racing and I was soo dizzy. I'm afraid to tell anyone there what's going on. I don't want them to think I'm crazy. I'm afraid I'll lose my job at some point because I'm struggling to function. Then I'll have nothing. From your post it sounds like you had a similar experience and it has gotten better. If that's true, do you have any suggestions of how to manage this? My T says to breathe and keep reminding myself that I'm here now and this is not the past. It doesn't help much because I already know that. It's my body reacting that has seem to forgotten.

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Anne81 and Janemcee

:aswelcomesu::youcanheal::notalone::sor: to meet you both this way

to message just click on the profile you want and you will see send a message at the top of the profile

Edited by reglois
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welcome annie :) everyone here is so supportive and understanding!

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:hi:

I'm a newbie myself but as everyone has said this site seems to be full of positive support. Wish all of you the best and Anne, good for you for seeking help and this site. I started Therapy less than a month ago and I can relate to the difficulties of it and I also think its getting harder and harder with every visit b/c we are getting deeper and deeper in my feelings which I am an expert at hiding. I'm just hoping that continuing to go will help me get rid of the negative feels that lead me there to begin with and that as silly as it sounds, the fact that its hard just means it working. I'm taking the "No pain, no gain" approach.

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Welcome, Eve. I'm glad you've found support here, too. Yes, my therapist let me know it would get worse before they got better. I guess I just wasn't expecting the intensity of the emotion and how very hard it would be to work through.. I agreed with the no pain, no gain idea in theory, but now that I'm in the middle of it, I'm wondering how much more of this I can take without a total breakdown. I guess I'll find out, and in the mean time I'm trying to get advice on how to heal and cope so that I can hopefully avoid that happening. I hope therapy goes really well for you.

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  • 2 months later...

Hi there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

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