Introductions Are Not My Fav.

[Goewin]

Hello everyone. I'm not a fan of introducing myself, so I'll try to keep this short...

I'm in my late 20's and just finally realizing how big of an impact my csa has had on me.

I've only had three relationships in my life, and none of them serious, I suffer from Rape Trauma Syndrome (found that out yesterday) as well as a typical cocktail of post-abuse mental difficulties, including depression, anxiety, insomnia, trust issues, eating disorder, intimacy issues, ect.

I began seeking help last month, and because that is just beginning, I feel worse for the moment rather than better.

I'm not exactly sure what caused me to seek out a forum, but I'm glad I'm here. Since I've registered (yesterday) I've cried, yelled, commiserated, and felt more validation of my experiences than I ever have before.

[Oshianne]

Welcome to After Silence, Goewin.

[reglois]

if OK

[louiseroi]

Hiya. I wish this site had been around 30 years ago!

[nycgirl]

Hi -geo,

Welcome to After Silence.

I am sorry to read about your past trauma.

You are on the road to recovery now, getting Professional help, and also reaching out to AS for Support.

From my own personal experiences with therapy, when I first started I felt like I was reliving the trauma all over again talking to the therapist.

The therapist should be able to help you with some coping skills.

Do not be afraid if medication is also recommended.

Medication and therapy are an excellent combination when treating trauma.

Remember, your Psychiatrist and/or Therapist are trying to help you, and they are your friend.

Please be open and honest about how you feel with them.

I wish you a speedy recovery

[Abluebell]

Hello! Welcome. I am so glad you decided to seek help. Stick with it

[angelic]

hello and welcome to AS

my name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here, I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, please let me know if you need any help, and I will do my best to help if I can

take care,

Paula

[Anya27]

Hi . I am so glad u r getting help . I have PTSD from assault and abuse separate cases . I have been getting help and feeling strong and hoping to speaking out too. Stay strong Best Wishes

[Raindancer]

My best to you in your healing. I am sorry you were hurt so badly. Yes, CSA has huge impact on relationships and our choices in mates. It is like someone putting up all the wrong road signs so we keep going the wrong directions. So when already hurting, we find others who hurt us more and when seeing someone who would be on the right road to travel, we look at the map and think certainly we must be going the wrong way! If your relationships were not so seious, I wonder if the road map took you to a destination of 'not so serious'. Not sure if makes any sense and if so please correct me. Sometimes things were just not going to get to a deeper heart level.

Anxiety, trust issues, insomnia, depression? check , check, check, check! Good to meet ya, have that road map pretty well in place. Know all those destinations pretty darn well. For the times you have felt alone in your pain, know we sympathize so very well. This is after silence. It is okay to look up from that road map and see that a lot of other people had the same map. You are not only not alone, it is a pretty darn crowded place! Some studies show up to 1/4 to 1/3 females and up to 1/6 to 1/4 of males are abused. Did I saw crowded? It is SRO at this point! Some of us are just going to dare to talk about where we are. It is the best way to straighten out the map and get to a better destination.

Home is where the heart is? Welcome home. There is no place that is home without heart. Our heart is our home in so many ways. You are really not alone now. We are all together at this place redrawing our maps together. We are all trying to find where those places are called, sharing, caring, belonging, and love.

It will hurt more at first. Um, sorry if this is a terrible analogy, or even if maybe the best analogy but is pretty yukky. okay, very yukky. Ever have an infected pimple or boil? It keeps hurting and hurting and hurting. It hurts way much if getting the gunk out. Ohhh does that hurt. How does it feel after? So much better. I wish you didn't have to go through the part of getting the poison out. For that part of once the poison is out, i hope you find it safe travels

be gentle with you there

Rain