New Here

[overit73]

Hi! I am very new to all this. I've never really introduced myself
on a message board before. I have a lot of self doubt about the
things that I write, say, do, how I look.... yeah pretty much
everything..... so I usually just end up lurking, and only speaking
now and then when something I am passionate about pops up in the
conversation.

I've already posted here, and opened up more in
the short time that I have been here, more than in the last 20 years
with ANYONE but my husband. I figured I better go ahead and make this
kinda big step for me with the introduction I do have a few
facebook "friends" that I may type a line or 2 to now and
then. I have also met a few people in online games... the few I have
actually befriended , in the last 8 years I have even withdrawn even
from them. I try to talk to them now and then and ,I do say this
with tears in my eyes... I miss them terribly but I feel powerless
against my anxiety. I have my husband and my amazing kids....
everyone else I have withdrawn from as much as possible.

So as I keep writing, and this is really becoming “my story”...
I'm just going to stop here with my intro and let the rest of the
book that is trying to come out of me do so in another post... or
probably several posts! ;) Thanks so much for just being here and
FINALLY convincing me I am not a freak of nature who just can't get
over anything! I can't express how good it feels!

[Kiralyna]

I am happy you found this place overit. AS is a great place. I found so much comfort and so many friends in here. I actually found a friend in here that I think is saving my life without even knowing. So yes, people are kind and understanding now and slowly you feel less alone.

You are not a freak of nature, of that I am sure. You've been hurt and abused souls change forever.

I hope you will find the comfort you need in here.

Kira

[reglois]

for all that you have been through/are going through, AS is a wonderful place, I have found writing the few bits that I have done very cathartic, hope you find the same. Isolation I have found is not the answer if OK.

[drowningnotwaving]

Glad you found your way here (( overit )) it is a good place to be. It's great that you have found your voice, I have also recently found mine and now I can't shut up lol. Welcome.

[angelic]

Hi, overit73,

welcome to After Silence, My name is Paula and I am one of the newbie support team here. If you need any assistance with the board, please don't hesitate to contact me.

take care, Paula

[overit73]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. It's great to find such a great group who understand. I'm sorry I am taking a couple of days to get back. I needed a break. This is hard. I've been trying to work through things, but it's hard. I can't believe I can say that after so many years, but as I read here and on the net
about PTSD and think back I become so angry with what they have taken from me. If only the sex was the only thing ya know? All this crap I have been going through after, so many years of thinking it's only me ....now figuring out it was what they did.....Gosh I've been so sad, mad.... I haven't known what to feel!! So I took a couple of days off from the forums and rearranged my house lol. At least all this pain is worth something... my house hasn't been this clean in years! ;)

[chloeann11]

Lol good to hear your house benefited :D

I know exactly what you are saying though, it is soooo daym hard to face not only what you have been through but the aftermath of that to, as Kira says it does change you and that change can sometimes be so hard to come to terms with. I hope we can all support each other to come to terms with all we have suffered together and how it has impacted ourselves and our lives.

Welcome to AS overit73.

[~FOUND~]

Welcome!