A Tentative Hello

[Jeanne27]

I first said the words out loud about a year ago. Growing up, there wasn't much room for things like this, so I never told. For 14 years I never told, instead I kept it in and did my best to act normal. Unfortunately, I now find that I can't keep it in anymore. I've reached a point where all my friends either have boyfriends, fiancees or husbands, and I have never even been close. So in an act of desperation I am now attempting to reach out, in the hopes tat maybe finally talking about it can help me move past it, or at least deal with it better.

I feel stuck, and the future feels hopeless. Anyone know that feeling?

[reglois]

if OK

[MeBeMary]

Hi Jeanne,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for your trauma, but you have found a very supportive site. You will find kind and understanding members here. Watching others find someone and fall in love is hard. I think we all want that. I haven't found it yet, but there are many on this site that have, so there is hope. I wish you well on your healing journey and never say never. Nothing is ever impossible.

Mary

[EllieMarie]

You are definitely not alone in this. This site is wonderful place to express your feelings, and find others to connect with who know just how you feel.

I've never been in a relationship either, I've felt hopeless at times also. Telling myself I have to love myself first before I share my love with anyone else.

Never give up though. Finding your voice does amazing things.

[Dasi]

Hello Jeanne27!

Welcome to AS! You are in good company here and definitely not alone! Sharing your story can be extremely empowering. Since I have come out with my story publicly I have been experiencing a miraculous awakening. Everyone's healing journey is unique to them, even though the pain of isolation that we have all experienced is quite similar. I wish you the best of luck on the journey that you have now embarked upon! May your healing be as miraculous as mine has been. Please feel free to contact me anytime!

Dasi

[angelic]

hello Jeanne

welcome to After Silence,

my name is Paula and I am a member of the Newbie support team here. I hope you are finding your way around the board okay, if you need any assistance with any aspect of it, please contact me or one of the team

take care

Paula

[kalini]

Oh yes, do I know that feeling. Some days/weeks are worse and some are better. I am very sorry for the loss from this violence against you. I do not know you, but I sense that you will find your strength and hope. From your username, I'm guessing you are 27? At 27 I was a train wreck and diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. My 30s are no less painful, but I've found hope and coping strategies and goals that keep me kinda in line, especially after correct diagnosis of dissociative subtype of PTSD (C-PTSD is not "officially" recognized). I didn't stay in therapy long enough for them to determine what kind of dissociative disorder. If you need a listening ear, my inbox is open.