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  1. Past hour
  2. Today
  3. Missing my light.

    My light or as I like to call him. My William. He is someone who I never thought that I would find. Its hard for me because everyone is trying to keep us apart. How do I deal with that when I can feel it in my soul that he is right for me. They will never understand that when I find someone who can relate to my fears that that is something very special to me. I just wish that they would let me be happy and be with the one who makes me feel whole again.
  4. Yesterday
  5. Welcome to me:)

  6. Help desk query

    You do not need to repost your request. It is visible only to you and the appropriate staff members. No one else can see another's post in the HelpDesk.
  7. This is my doing something.

    Me too. I have to pace myself. alphabet soup
  8. Help desk query

    Hi Rose, Thanks for replying. That's really odd that you can't see it. I posted it last Thursday. It looks like it has been read more times than just my own reads so hopefully someone can see it! Do you think I should repost? Thanks Reyzl
  9. Help desk query

    The Help Desk is still functional, and is the best way to get in contact with a mod or admin. Please keep in mind that some requests may take longer.
  10. Help desk query

    Hi Reyzl I actually can't see your request in the Help Desk section, the last one there I see is mine posted in 2016
  11. Hi I posted a request in the Help Desk section a week ago and no one has replied yet. I had quite prompt replies in the past so I am wondering if the help desk it is still being used/staffed? Should I direct my request to a particular mod instead? Thanks Reyzl
  12. Lost in my mind

    There are times when I catch myself staring outside and looking at nothing. All that I am thinking about is how jumbled my mind is. For all these years I have been lost. I can't explain why I am the way I am. When my screams in my sleep wake up my family how do I tell them? I play it off that it was just a nightmare. It never is. Someone close to, during an argument, told me that I need to stop being the victim after all these years. As if I have some on and off switch. I wish that I knew how to stop this tail spin. If I knew how to help myself then I would do it. I want to live a normal life. Maybe I am simply cursed to live this way.
  13. I may not be having a good day but I'm learning that if I stand up to the fear and dread of doing things I usually enjoy myself and find there was nothing to be scared of. I am stronger then I believe I am

    1. MeBeMary
    2. ActivistAlly

      ActivistAlly

      That is called bravery.  You are strong.  :luck:

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Safe hug :hug: if ok?

  14. making progress...maybe??

    so I finally decided that I wanted to go see my dad in jail after the fact that he R me. I printed out the application to submit to be able to visit him. now I just have to mail it off. I'm not sure if I want to sill send it off or not but I did fill out the papers. I swear I feel like they want to know everything about you. I think they even do a background check to before your approved. I don't know how I feel about going through all this bs just to go visit the man that ruined my life in more then one way. I'm hoping that it will be healing in some sort o way or maybe itll mess up my head even more then what it already is. but ig there is only one way to find out and it is to go see him and see what happens.
  15. I didn't deserve to be mistreated like that...

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      No you don't. :( Sitting with you, if it helps.

    2. Stephenjames

      Stephenjames

      Thank you @MeBeMary, for your kind words.

       

  16. :sadang:Nobody should feel so unbearably sad on their birthday...

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. heartofamethyst

      heartofamethyst

      Happy Birthday! It may be late but I think that you need to hear it anyways. ( :

    3. EmptyInside

      EmptyInside

      Thank you! Happy belated birthday!!

    4. heartofamethyst

      heartofamethyst

      Thank you very much! 

  17. Last week
  18. I'm new here, so hi

    Warm welcome from me to you, too. Greetings, S.A.I:
  19. Fear there is nothing left of me.  

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. ActivistAlly

      ActivistAlly

      Awww.   sitting with you if okay :throb:

      :hug:

    3. Painnbroken

      Painnbroken

      @MeBeMary @Oneinamillion @ActivistAlly

      Thank you guys for the hugs and sitting with me.  

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Safe hugs :hug: & sitting with you friend hope your ok.

  20. Hey!

    Thank you all for the warm welcome.
  21. A little better today

    Today is a much better day than yesterday. Mentally and emotionally I am allowing myself to be distanced from everyone especially my fiancee and zoning in on schoolwork so there arent any questions. Health wise I feel pretty good, good enough to clean and make burritos for dinner tonight. I realize that I DO have options; I could appeal to my dad and ask to come stay with him in AZ for a little while, there are homeless shelters and rent assistance etc, and I have a couple friends who would let me couch surf for a bit if I needed it. It helps to have options. I dont feel so trapped anymore. If I stay I will just distance myself from him to protect myself. I wont let him hurt me. I know that no matter what happens I will make things work because I am a survivor, a fighter. I have survived more than I should have and if I can do that I can do anything. I have to tell myself over and over that I can do this, that no matter what life throws at me I can get through it. I am dealing with a lot of things right now, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. There is a reason I am here. I am not exactly sure what that is. I am reminded often how everything that I know is wrong. But thats ok. My brain isnt functioning well right now. Im a little loopy. But i guess its all part of the process right? Gotta keep moving forward. Even if I dont know why yet. One foot in front of the other. Until my last breath..
  22. Intro

    Thank you
  23. Hi I'm May I'm new

    @Struggling88 thanks nice to meet you❤️🎈
  24. Intro

    Hi, Kax, and welcome!
  25. Hey!

    Hi, FoxandCats, and welcome!
  26. Hi I'm May I'm new

    Hi, May, and welcome!
  27. I Just Got Here

    Hi, Sid, and welcome!
  28. I'm new here, so hi

    Hi, NorthernGypsy, and welcome!
  29. Older member, but I'm back :)

    Welcome back @VintageCrayon!
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