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  1. Today
  2. New here

    Hello Mimity, how are you? I'm sorry about what brought you to this group. It was not your fault. It is normal to feel the way you are feeling at present. Abuse has a huge impact. I wonder if you have a counsellor to help you with the emotional pian and the images. I hope this group will be helpful for you. I do have a happy place in my mind and a real one in the forest. I have learnt to close my eyes and go to a beautiful happy place where I feel safe. It takes time to get the place you like. You can also draw it. Take care.
  3. Yesterday
  4. Hi there I am Anna Juliet,  this is my first post.  Seeking to reach out to other survivors.  I am based in central London UK.    I hope all are doing well-  sending solidarity and strength to all who are struggling with aftermath of sexual assault. 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. missfrier


      Dear annajuliet:

      Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

      Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

      Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  


    3. snmls


      Hi @annajuliet

      Welcome to AS.  I'm sorry for the trauma in your life that has brought you here, but you have found a safe space.  We are all here to support each other and you are welcome to post on the forums anytime you feel comfortable.  I hope you end up finding this site as helpful as I do! 

    4. PlayD3ad


      I'm new today as well, it does take alot of courage so that's amazing you joined. I'm sorry you had to endure anything like that but I am a survivor myself so if you need someone to talk to or connect with I'm here for you! 

  5. Sometimes I wanna die even when I’m happy too 

  6. Last week
  7. New here

    Welcome to AfterSilence. I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support. Good job taking this step in your healing process. You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault. Take your time exploring and post when you are ready. If you have any questions feel free to message me. Sorry to hear nobody wants to listen. Once you have 10 posts you will have access to a forum called share your story where you can share there. An easy way to get a few extra posts is to post in the amusement alcove or humor and silliness forums.
  8. Just wishing I could sleep right now :zzz: 

  9. Hi

    @soulless @missfrier @pattyr @Struggling88 - Thank you guys! I truly appreciate you guys taking the time out to welcome me.
  10. Hello everyone

    Thank you everyone for your kind replies and warm welcome! I look forward to getting to know you all.
  11. My emotions have dropped like a stone from the sky over something so semi petty I almost can't breathe. I'm not sure what else to do but go to bed.

    Sitters needed. Sorry.

    1. MeBeMary


      Sometimes the smallest things can set us off. :(  Sitting with you tuliptorn. :hug:  

    2. Field8


      Sitting with you and never be sorry

    3. Field8
  12. Hi

    Hi, ellebelle, and welcome!
  13. *T* Ultimate Loss

    Thank you, been a very hard road❤
  14. *T* Ultimate Loss

    this is so beautiful and so well written <3
  15. *T* Ultimate Loss

    He raped me once He raped me twice, I had to pay the fucking price He knocked me up I miss carried Heavy shit on life It's what I see Now Someday I hope he'll pay. Karma will get him I hope my pain goes away It's not fair My body used Then I had the baby blues That was taken A few weeks later More grieving for me The arsehole u see He's the one who's walking free
  16. Masked

    Happy front Hidden tears Practise from many years I silence myself Don't speak unless it's kind Mum taught me that much Had the marks belted into me from behind. She was tough Deep deep sadness Never to surface To many scars unseen A life time of hurt. I overcome all things Many take time I push on through Like I've always had to Strong and alone Makes the road so dark I'm still standing I always find my spark. Don't judge me Unless you've been in my shoes Don't dim my light, it's already nearly out! I have enough internal and external bruises More then most have in a lifetime I am me I do my best Don't push me to hard I need my rest
  17. I am tired

    I am tired Tired of holding hurt Tired of holding pain Some days I think, that I am going insane. I am tired Tired of being scared Tired of being brave Some days I just want to break down and have that be ok. I am tired Tired of power and control Tired of judgement to People being ugly to one another Verbally and unspeakable. Hidden from view I am just tired I just want to rest I want to live a life A life at my best So let me take a break Let me just be I just ask for one day One day to be content and happy For here I am now Strong and pushing on Some days harder then others But I keep trying my best. My best to carry on Here my words Hear them loud and clear Life is hard Life is not always fear I try real hard to enjoy every day But just for now I am tired, tired today.
  18. A penis A Bottle Your fingers to You think it's your right To help yourself, through and through The word Stop! The word No! Ignored as if they were never said You hurt me alot Drew blood to This was just after You left your residue I'm emotionally numb In shock you could say Nothing will ever Take this amount of pain away. What makes it worse, I write this today Even though it marks a year Seems like it was yesterday Your not the first to break my trust Over power me with such a demeaning task
  19. Lights do shine Darkness does fade Bad things happen It's not how we are made. It hurts so much No power, no care I was left, just lying there Deshevilled and distressed I don't understand why This is me now, I am a mess I want to express my world of pain But nothing comes, just silence and shame. I have been wounded in almost every way Damaged goods, no bright future for me I can not be fixed, just healed with time I just wonder, is this body really mine? What did I do wrong To be treated this way Why does this happen Alot to me!!! It's not fair I've had enough Please just let me be I am not that tough I will survive And move past this one day One step at a time I will try That's all I can say
  20. Hi

    Welcome to After Silence. I'm sorry for what happened to you and how it has affected you all these years. I think we start different steps of healing when we are ready. This is a caring place, and I'm glad you are already feeling that. You're not alone in having the effects seep in to your life, I think that is the nature of these traumas, and that is not your fault. I wish you the best as you step further into your healing.
  21. Hi

    Dear ellebelle: Welcome to After Silence. I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through! Being here has helped me so much. Everyone is so caring and supportive here. I am proud of you for reaching out. I know that is hard to do. I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community. Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.
  22. Hi

    Welcome You have taken your first step , baby steps . One day at a time , you will be just fine you can do this . safe hugs if okay
  23. Hi

    Thank you @Poppy_, @neri, @MeBeMary, each for your kind words and warm welcome despite these unfortunate circumstances, it is nice to read from those who can relate, which is a new feeling for me. Thanks you guys, again! 🥰
  24. I think I'm back, hello!

    Awww thanks so much to everyone @EmptyInside @Kmkz @missfrier @BraveOne @TerraMarkov @silentg & @patriciag for such a warm welcome back!!
  25. Hi

    Hi ellebelle, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you've experienced 13 years ago. I think many of us have tried the same things as you, I know that I have. Denial never prevented the struggles and feelings. It is a big step to finally start facing the ugliness that was done to you, by way of sharing with your husband and becoming a member here. Take your time to look around and share when you are ready. Wishing you the best on your journey of healing. Mary
  26. Hi

    @ellebelle Welcome! I'm so sorry you have a reason to be here, but I'm also glad you found this amazing, supportive place to help you through your healing journey. AS has personally helped me a ton over the past year, and I really hope it helps you, too. I also want to congratulate you on breaking your silence with your husband—that is incredibly scary and difficult to do and I'm sooo proud of you! Like @Poppy_ said, my PMs are also open. Again welcome! Neri
  27. Hi

    Hi, @ellebelle - Welcome to After Silence! I know how scary it can be to open up about abuse or hurt and try to process it and how scary it can be even to share with loved ones! You are making wonderful first steps at working through this and getting the support you need. This is a wonderful community of amazingly supportive people that will hold your hand through all of the bad things, and celebrate with you through all of the good things I hope you see that as you navigate around the site and get to know people! If you need any help or assistance with the site, please send me a PM! I'm happy to help. You can also PM me if you're just needing a friend or someone to vent to my door is always open! Sending happy thoughts, Poppy
  28. Hi

    Hello, everyone! I am truly thankful to have found this place. A few days ago, I was finally able to share with my husband what happened to me 13 years ago and thankfully he was supportive. I am cautiously ready to open up and process what I have been through. I have carried this on me for many years and has affected me deeply in so many ways and seeped into my everyday life, by refusing to deal with it. Maybe once I’m more comfortable I can speak more about that too. I just know in my soul I am ready to start the healing process. Thanks for your time 💛
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