Thought I Was "over It" But Clearly I'm Not

[GigiNana86]

Thought I was "over it" but clearly I'm not.. don't think you really get over it like people want.

Just introducing myself

Hi names Min, joined because.. well I need some outlet some comfort alittle of anything I guess.. stuff was goin on for a such long time and now that im alittle older and somewhat away from my abuser. I found out he did it to someone else, who now spoke.. I was/am still scared to talk...wth im 26. Now all I do is blame myself if only I had said something, this little girl wouldn't be hurting as I am, and even now more than ever ='( What makes everything even worse about the whole thing is family..the family that stick by his side knowing everything (even by his admission) and they still bailed him out....reliving my nightmare...sick.. ok enough mini venting..this was supposed to be a short intro..

Hope to find some comfort and maybe a friend or 2 to chat and get this off my mind as lately I have daily reminders.

-Min

[ithinkimreadytowin]

Hi Min,

Firstly - congratulations on coming here and opening up about your past. Very brave of you .

Secondly - it is not your fault and was never your fault. It is one person's and one person's alone: his. It was HIS responsibility not to abuse anyone, and he failed in that responsibility. You mustn't blame yourself; many people are too scared to talk about what happened to them and it must be terrifying to come out about it, worrying whether or not you'd be believed, wondering whether or not you'd provoke a response from your abuser.

This was his fault, not yours. You and the other person are victims. You are survivors.

I hope you find this board to be a safe and comforting place to talk about your issues, past and present. It's a long road to recovery, but it's worth every step.

All the best with it.

Also - maybe start a blog? I started one just recently and it's been really helpful in my efforts to get all my thoughts down on paper/on the screen.

Best wishes,

Ollie

[BCR]

Hey Min, I'm a 26 yr. old survivor of incest myself. I can totally relate to what you're feeling right now. Ollie is definitely right in saying that it isn't your fault at all. No matter what, he made the ultimate choice to re-offend, not you. Stay strong, we're all here for you.

Edited May 16, 2013 by BCR

[ElleWhite]

Hi Min

Welcome to AS! You'll find a wealth of resources here and people who genuinely care about you. It may be difficult to trust at first, but in time I hope you find a couple women to relate to that you are confident in sharing your pain.

Please be encouraged to stop blaming yourself in any way. You were the victim. You were afraid. You may have been ashamed and lacking in a person you felt safe sharing with at the time. Regardless, it is NOT YOUR FAULT!

It's my hope and prayer that those words will sink in to the very core and essence of your being. The journey is long, but the backside of recovery is oh, so sweet.

Again, welcome!

Elle

[kittyloki]

That is a hard thing to deal with. You aren't to blame that HE hurt someone else. We are often very scared of our abusers. Its hard to tell and turn them in.

[GigiNana86]

Hi, Ollie

Thank you it has realy been hard for me lately because I know he's at fault but I can't help but feel like I could have prevented this had I tried to get him locked away before. Even though my sister would have bailed him out like she did now ='( saddest part of the whole thing is now my niece is at risk and my sister is in complete denial and everyone is the bad guy not him! makes me so angry! In part I see her as another victim of his but then knowing all the truth she knows and even him telling her things I can't help but feel she's an accomplise.. just as sick and messed up in the head like him.

totally went off there sorry lol, will def look into writing a blog or maybe online diary for now, not sure how "public" I would like to write. Glad your doing one and it's helping!! thts really good. if you don't mind sharing your blog I'd like to read sometime =)

-Min

Hi Min,

Firstly - congratulations on coming here and opening up about your past. Very brave of you .

Secondly - it is not your fault and was never your fault. It is one person's and one person's alone: his. It was HIS responsibility not to abuse anyone, and he failed in that responsibility. You mustn't blame yourself; many people are too scared to talk about what happened to them and it must be terrifying to come out about it, worrying whether or not you'd be believed, wondering whether or not you'd provoke a response from your abuser.

This was his fault, not yours. You and the other person are victims. You are survivors.

I hope you find this board to be a safe and comforting place to talk about your issues, past and present. It's a long road to recovery, but it's worth every step.

All the best with it.

Also - maybe start a blog? I started one just recently and it's been really helpful in my efforts to get all my thoughts down on paper/on the screen.

Best wishes,

Ollie

[GigiNana86]

Thank you BCR

It really is great to see and feel so much support in here and through the internet.. never thought that was possible but I really do feel really glad I joined =)

It truely is harder to do the act of being strong than just saying it. lol I tell myself all the time I'm a strong woman "I got this" I try so hard for my little girls, I don't want them to think anything can bring me down!!

but I break down almost daily in the privacy of the shower or at night once their sleeping ='( something about that damn shower brings those tears flowing. an the quietness onnce their tucked in.

-Min

Hey Min, I'm a 26 yr. old survivor of incest myself. I can totally relate to what you're feeling right now. Ollie is definitely right in saying that it isn't your fault at all. No matter what, he made the ultimate choice to re-offend, not you. Stay strong, we're all here for you.

[GigiNana86]

Hi and thank you Elle,

This website/group really does have a lot to offer the multitude of stories even comments to others I feel as though there meant for me at times. Makes me tear up reading most things but I feel as though its helping, just realizing im not alone.

People may be far and yet I feel so close through just the stories and threads I have been reading. Its a good mabybe even sobering feeling. Better than having family who believes it happened but wont talk about anything because its such a hush hush thing in my family. sometimes I feel like I want or maybe need to scream it to people.

thanks again and prayers are openly accepted especially beacuse I really do need it to sink in, that nothing's my fault! I know it but I don't think I have come to truely accept it yet. I know I will get to that point and when I do I will hopefully be at peace with this whole situation.

-Min

Hi Min

Welcome to AS! You'll find a wealth of resources here and people who genuinely care about you. It may be difficult to trust at first, but in time I hope you find a couple women to relate to that you are confident in sharing your pain.

Please be encouraged to stop blaming yourself in any way. You were the victim. You were afraid. You may have been ashamed and lacking in a person you felt safe sharing with at the time. Regardless, it is NOT YOUR FAULT!

It's my hope and prayer that those words will sink in to the very core and essence of your being. The journey is long, but the backside of recovery is oh, so sweet.

Again, welcome!
Elle

[ElleWhite]

You never have to scream it to people who are listening. For those who are not listening, no amount of volume will make them hear you. Focus on those who care...

Hugs

[~FOUND~]

HI there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found