New And Looking To Connect With Other Survivors.

[DolphinBlossom]

Hi all! I am am obviously new to this site. I decided to join because 1. I am a survivor and 2. I am looking to connect with other survivors. I feel like no one understands me and what I have been through. They try but unless you have been through it yourself you will never know the pain and suffering it causes. I am tired of people thinking and telling me it is time for me to get over it and move on. I am also tired of feeling like I have to keep my story silent. I don't like feeling like I have a "dirty little secret." I don't want to tell my story to everyone I pass on the street or to most people I know but I am tired of feeling like my life is so taboo. That is why I am here, so I can tell my story when I feel I need to and feel like I am understood. I hope this makes sense and I am looking forward to talking to other survivors.

[silentg]

Hi, I'm new here too. I can very much relate to your feeling that there is a part of you silent because you have a 'secret'. I feel so similar to that. I don't tell most people very much about me, not that I want everyone to know everything, but you're right, it is a taboo subject.. I often think if I had survived some 'acceptable' illness, I could talk about it and be even proud to have survived it and there would be no weird responses or discomfort from people I told. And no shame either, right?

I also hear you about feeling pressure to 'get over it'.

I hope you find the support you are looking for here!

[TinaR]

Hi, sorry, but I feel a fraud here, as most of you are so unhappy, I felt numb and totally ashamed after my ordeal, I ahd bene held down on a table at a party and used by several older men as others watched my shame, but I was more terrified about what my husband's reaction would be, he had warned me not to trust the oler woman at work who had taken me to that party.

But he was wonderful, he didnt blame me, he just cmforted me, he held and and assured me that he would always love me.

He said I was now safe in his loving arms and he encouraged me to tell him what had happened and what the others had all seen.

He assured me that it was his right to know everything and that I had no need to hide anyhting from him, he loved me better and cuddled me all night long as I at least manged to get a few "cat naps" when my exhausted body and my troubled mind allowed it.

A close friend said my hubby was being cruel to demand to know all about it, over and over, but he assured me that I needed to share it with him to help the healing process and to make us closer and to make me feel safe

I hope in some little way that my experience may perhaps help someone ?

I would love to chat more if you want

love Tina

[ElleWhite]

Welcome to AS Dolphin. You're not alone...

[DolphinBlossom]

Silentg,

You are so right about the "acceptable" illness and being a survivor! So well put, thank you! We should be proud we survived not dirty and taboo!

Hi, I'm new here too. I can very much relate to your feeling that there is a part of you silent because you have a 'secret'. I feel so similar to that. I don't tell most people very much about me, not that I want everyone to know everything, but you're right, it is a taboo subject.. I often think if I had survived some 'acceptable' illness, I could talk about it and be even proud to have survived it and there would be no weird responses or discomfort from people I told. And no shame either, right?

I also hear you about feeling pressure to 'get over it'.

I hope you find the support you are looking for here!

[DolphinBlossom]

You are by no means a fraud, we all have to heal in our own ways. I am glad your husband is supportive. We all need support in order to heal but it does concern me that he says it is his right to know everything. It's not his right, it didn't happen to him, it happened to you. It is your right to share what you feel you need to share and when you feel you need to share. But like I said we all need to heal our own way and there is no manual on how to recover. If this works for you than I think that is great but don't ever feel you have to share. There are some days when sharing my story is too hard and it makes me feel worse. Other days I need to talk about it and get it out of my head. This is when I have a hard time finding someone who is willing and comfortable enough to hear about it. I too have felt numb, I still do feel very numb sometimes. It comes and goes. I'm not always unhappy and I do have people who support me and they do try to understand but unless you have been through it it is hard to understand. But even my supporters find it very hard to discuss with me, it makes them uncomfortable and I don't blame them I guess, it makes me uncomfortable.

Hi, sorry, but I feel a fraud here, as most of you are so unhappy, I felt numb and totally ashamed after my ordeal, I ahd bene held down on a table at a party and used by several older men as others watched my shame, but I was more terrified about what my husband's reaction would be, he had warned me not to trust the oler woman at work who had taken me to that party.

But he was wonderful, he didnt blame me, he just cmforted me, he held and and assured me that he would always love me.

He said I was now safe in his loving arms and he encouraged me to tell him what had happened and what the others had all seen.

He assured me that it was his right to know everything and that I had no need to hide anyhting from him, he loved me better and cuddled me all night long as I at least manged to get a few "cat naps" when my exhausted body and my troubled mind allowed it.

A close friend said my hubby was being cruel to demand to know all about it, over and over, but he assured me that I needed to share it with him to help the healing process and to make us closer and to make me feel safe

I hope in some little way that my experience may perhaps help someone ?

I would love to chat more if you want

love Tina

[DolphinBlossom]

Welcome to AS Dolphin. You're not alone...

Thank you Elle, that is comforting to now.

[DolphinBlossom]

Sorry it took my so long to reply to you all, my time got away from me. Thank you all for responding and welcoming me so warmly! If any of you need a person to talk too I am here to listen!

[silent no more]

Welcome Dolphin and Tina!!! I am sure you will find that After Silence will meet the expectations you had, when you joined. This is an awesome place to be able to tell your story and not be judges, but support, loved and cared about!! Each person here has their own stories and they are all different. But the support is the same regardless!! I am proud of both of you, for reaching out for the support that you need and deserve!!

~SNM~

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.
Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found