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HI I am new to the fourms, getting up the nerve to take a look at my past life and realize that I had been raped before in the past was one of the hardest things I had to do in my about three years ago.

It wasn't a typical case of rape or at least thats what my brain constantly told myself all the time. i didn't say no, enough or loud enough, didn't try to struggle or fight back, phyiscally or vocally. Just flat out allowed it to happen.

After being told by others this was indeed the case. I finally started allowing the truth of the matter to be, i hate having to say that this did happen to me but it did.

whats worse is that I can look back at two other cases in my life, that I would now say I do count as rape, I was un sure at the time if I wanted to...or not...and felt pressured into the situations.

So in my mind I do count them as that, one of the incidents was with someone I still talk to ..or that is trying to reconnect with me since I moved home and I have been avoiding his contact as much as I can while still talking to him. I feel the need to tell him why I can't see him in person or be near him one on one.

I don't know what to do to help myself and it obvious thats been the case for a while now cause I seem to have symptoms of PTSD now. I need to find better ways of coping with my stress and tramatic past. Hopefully over time I can find ways to help myself.

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HI I am new to the fourms, getting up the nerve to take a look at my past life and realize that I had been raped before in the past was one of the hardest things I had to do in my about three years ago.

Hi, welcome to the forums.

It wasn't a typical case of rape or at least thats what my brain constantly told myself all the time. i didn't say no, enough or loud enough, didn't try to struggle or fight back, phyiscally or vocally. Just flat out allowed it to happen.

This actually is more typical than you realize. Most people don't fight back much and most people feel that they didn't say no loud enough. We are taught to be nice and non-confrontational and it's hard to overcome that in situations where the other person is being completely unreasonable. I'm pretty sure this is the main reason why so many people don't tell. So you're definitely not alone. I certainly didn't fight back much, and I blamed myself for a really long time. Spend much time here and you will realize that that's usually how it happens.

After being told by others this was indeed the case. I finally started allowing the truth of the matter to be, i hate having to say that this did happen to me but it did.

whats worse is that I can look back at two other cases in my life, that I would now say I do count as rape, I was un sure at the time if I wanted to...or not...and felt pressured into the situations.

So in my mind I do count them as that, one of the incidents was with someone I still talk to ..or that is trying to reconnect with me since I moved home and I have been avoiding his contact as much as I can while still talking to him. I feel the need to tell him why I can't see him in person or be near him one on one.

I don't know what to do to help myself and it obvious thats been the case for a while now cause I seem to have symptoms of PTSD now. I need to find better ways of coping with my stress and tramatic past. Hopefully over time I can find ways to help myself.

I hope we can be helpful to you here.

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  • 9 months later...

Hi there.
Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Found

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