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Hi :)

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i just wanted to say hi and introduce myself...

i was raped (that word scares me) on new years 2011/12 - a little over a year ago. i went for months in denial, and engaged in self-destructive behaviors to prove i was "in control". i can't remember when my methods of coping started to fail and when i realized that i was very far from being in control, but that realization was a heavy one.

i lived in silence for over a year (family, friends, and anyone in my life permanently still have no idea), but then a weekly support group recently started in my area - i have found this to be the best and worst thing of my life. i was doing ok in denial - i was getting through at least. but now that i am talking about what happened, i have to face all those feelings i stuffed down for all those months and it sometimes is hard to breathe. i think about it and him more now, and the flashbacks and nightmares are worse. some days are not awful, but most days it is in the back of my mind - i hear his words or smell him or see his face or whatever. i try not to let his voice become mine, but sometimes that dark place takes a hold of me. i don't want that for myself, so i am so glad i found a community like this that i can turn to 24/7. i wish this community didn't have to exist, but i am thankful to know i am not alone. i wish you all peace and healing on your journeys :)

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H i there.

Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Very nice to meet you.


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