Hi, Im New.

[dontspeak]

hi everybody, or anybody who cares or wants to hear.

this is all very weird for me, i was told what happened to me was rape, but i keep thinking maybe i brought it on myself?

i can't tell my parents, which sucks cause i tell my mom everything and my dad is so supportive of me.

i want to tell them but right now is the worst time to give them more bad news.

im on this emotional roller coaster and im not sure if thats normal.

call me olivia, i don't want to share my name but olivia is my alias.

thanks for listening, any advice or anything would help me a lot.

[Rhythm]

Hi Olivia,

Welcome I can completely relate to the uncertainty with telling your parents, there are so many pros and cons that it all gets a bit jumbled!

Rape is rape, and it was not your fault that someone did that to you. I think it is normal for your emotions to be a bit all over the place after such a traumatic event, it's difficult to get your head around.

Hope you feel better about it soon - feel free to PM me whenever you like

Rhythm x

[dontspeak]

Rhythm

i feel so stupid cause this happened 2 years ago and i think cause of all this stress thats recently arisen in my life, its just come up, but i feel so dumb for not addressing it 2 years ago.

does that make sense?

[Rhythm]

Rhythm

i feel so stupid cause this happened 2 years ago and i think cause of all this stress thats recently arisen in my life, its just come up, but i feel so dumb for not addressing it 2 years ago.

does that make sense?

Perfect sense, I'm quite sure that this is very common amongst survivors, at the time of the trauma it's easier to ignore the pain and forget about it rather than address the problem - sort of a self defence mechanism to protect yourself.

I feel similarly, I have built up big walls to try keep it out, but unfortunately cracks do start to appear later down the line. I am also only fairly recently beginning to deal with childhood trauma (7/8 years for me) and it's very difficult to face up to it and acknowledge that it happened and start to explore the feelings surrounding it.

I personally believe that we try to block out painful memories, as at that moment in time we were not emotionally ready to deal with them properly. If that makes sense?

If you ever want to talk through any worries or doubts about what happened, you know where I am and are welcome to PM me . It can help to get them off your mind.

Rhythm x

[Equalitee]

Hello Olivia, welcome to After Silence. I am new here also.

There is nothing you or anyone can do to bring rape upon themselves. Keep telling yourself this everyday. Guilt is so hard to overcome but if you can keep telling yourself it's not your fault it will really help.

Peace and light to you

[kenzo28]

Hey Olivia, Welcome to After silence! Im really sorry for the reasons that bring you here, but well done for taking the step of joining our support site.

I hope you find your way around and get the support and understanding you deserve.

Take your time and be gentle with your self.

Much Love

Kenzo. x

[Maley]

Welcome Olivia, I am so sorry that you need to be here. I am, however, very glad you found this community. There are many great people here who will understand, accept, and support you on your healing journey. What happened to you is absolutely not your fault, never! And there are many different stories here and the length of time after does not matter.........for example, it has taken me many years to deal with what happened to me and I just started to deal with it in January..........just glad you are now among people who can support you. Take gentle care!

[~FOUND~]

Hi there.
Welcome to AS.

I hope you find this site to be helpful.

Very nice to meet you.

Found